gimmedatsammich's definitions

AP Music Theory

A class that saps all the fun out of music. You will start the year off excited and enthusiastic, but by mid semester, you'll be thinking, "Why the fuck did I take this class, again?"

By the way, John Lennon and Paul McCartney couldn't read music. Shove that up your ass, AP Music Theory.

After a semester of taking AP Music Theory and not being able to enjoy music anymore, Adam burned his textbook and dropped the fuck out of that piece of shit class.

by gimmedatsammich February 18, 2011

Jump Scare

A tactic used in horror movies to scare people, the jump scare is used by unimaginative filmmakers as a cheap method of frightening the audience; i.e, making them literally "jump" out of their seats. This device is being increasingly employed in modern horror movies, along with gratuitous amounts of gore, because the directors have forgotten how to actually scare people.

A scantily clad, bosomy teenager who hears a suspicious noise in her empty house on a rainy night while watching a movie gets up from the couch to investigate its source. Walking slowly, she calls out, "Is anybody there?" As she nears the kitchen, a black cat streaks across the hallway, accompanied by a loud, piercing measure of orchestral music. "Oh, whiskers, you silly cat, you scared me!" she says, breathing a sigh of relief. She turns around, anxious to get back to her movie, when an axe suddenly buries itself in her skull.

Most of the audience screams in fright. However, the veteran horror movie fans in the theater have seen way too many cheap uses of the jump scare to be fooled. They shake their heads and think about the good old days when movies like The Shining were actually able to genuinely scare them.

by gimmedatsammich April 6, 2011

30h!3

A band that produces music intended to be listened to while taking a large, steamy shit.

I had violent diarrhea the other day while listening to "House Party" by 30h!3.

by gimmedatsammich September 6, 2010

Trigonometry

Useless bullshit that you'll forget the second you graduate from high school.

Me: Hey Mrs. Smith, when am I ever going to use trigonometry?

Mrs. Smith: On the next test.

Me: Go fuck yourself you scruffy bitch.

by gimmedatsammich September 13, 2010

Slow walker

Someone who holds up the traffic in a hallway (especially in high school) because they are walking slower than everyone else. Studies have proven that slow walking is the cause of more than 75% of hallway fights.

A slow walker is the equivalent of someone who does 30 MPH in the left lane in a 35 MPH zone.

by gimmedatsammich May 21, 2011

Old people porn

Pornography that showcases the appalling and questionably legal act of two or more old fuckers having hot, steamy old people sex. Usually can be found under the "Mature" category on most porn sites.

See lemonparty for more information.

Jimmy Nichols: Dad, what is old people porn?

Mr. Nichols: Shut the fuck up and eat your goddamn peas Jimmy. I don't have time for your bullshit.

by gimmedatsammich June 1, 2011

Laziness

Being lazy is not an affliction; it is a blessing. Those of us who embrace laziness soon wonder why we tried so long to deny ourselves its comforts. People are fucked, the world is fucked, so sit back and light up. What else you got to do?

Laziness:

Bro 1: You lazy cunt, that's the fifth time you've watched "The Big Lebowski" in the past two days. This rent ain't paying itself, you know.

Bro 2: Chill dude, you're clogging up my airway with your progressiveness. Now pass me that roach, why don't you.

by gimmedatsammich November 12, 2010