Definitions by gimmedatsammich
Quarter assed
When you can't even muster half of an ass to do something you deem undesirable, such as mowing your lawn, writing a book report, or raising your children.
My boss told me to have the sales figures drawn up on the double. It was Friday afternoon, so I put together a quarter assed powerpoint presentation for the meeting.
Quarter assed by gimmedatsammich February 14, 2012
Administration
Those sad sacks of meat with questionable job titles who walk around high schools all day and tell kids to "quiet down!" and perform the essential duty of reprimanding teenage lovers for their PDA (Public Displays of Affection.) Usually the highest paid employees in the school district.
The noise in the cafeteria rose above the decibel level of a single chirping cricket, so the administration was called in to restore order.
70 children were expelled that day.
70 children were expelled that day.
Administration by gimmedatsammich February 14, 2012
Eat shit and die
The quintessential insult, the godfather of all putdowns, and a drunken sailor's best friend; it leaves no room for reconciliation.
Eating shit is bad enough (can you think of anything worse?) but wishing DEATH upon someone? That is treading in shark infested waters. Be wary, my son; utter these words only in the darkest of hours, when all other aspersions fail you.
Eating shit is bad enough (can you think of anything worse?) but wishing DEATH upon someone? That is treading in shark infested waters. Be wary, my son; utter these words only in the darkest of hours, when all other aspersions fail you.
Eat shit and die by gimmedatsammich December 5, 2011
Old people porn
Pornography that showcases the appalling and questionably legal act of two or more old fuckers having hot, steamy old people sex. Usually can be found under the "Mature" category on most porn sites.
See lemonparty for more information.
See lemonparty for more information.
Jimmy Nichols: Dad, what is old people porn?
Mr. Nichols: Shut the fuck up and eat your goddamn peas Jimmy. I don't have time for your bullshit.
Mr. Nichols: Shut the fuck up and eat your goddamn peas Jimmy. I don't have time for your bullshit.
Old people porn by gimmedatsammich June 1, 2011
Slow walker
Someone who holds up the traffic in a hallway (especially in high school) because they are walking slower than everyone else. Studies have proven that slow walking is the cause of more than 75% of hallway fights.
Slow walker by gimmedatsammich May 21, 2011
Jump Scare
A tactic used in horror movies to scare people, the jump scare is used by unimaginative filmmakers as a cheap method of frightening the audience; i.e, making them literally "jump" out of their seats. This device is being increasingly employed in modern horror movies, along with gratuitous amounts of gore, because the directors have forgotten how to actually scare people.
A scantily clad, bosomy teenager who hears a suspicious noise in her empty house on a rainy night while watching a movie gets up from the couch to investigate its source. Walking slowly, she calls out, "Is anybody there?" As she nears the kitchen, a black cat streaks across the hallway, accompanied by a loud, piercing measure of orchestral music. "Oh, whiskers, you silly cat, you scared me!" she says, breathing a sigh of relief. She turns around, anxious to get back to her movie, when an axe suddenly buries itself in her skull.
Most of the audience screams in fright. However, the veteran horror movie fans in the theater have seen way too many cheap uses of the jump scare to be fooled. They shake their heads and think about the good old days when movies like The Shining were actually able to genuinely scare them.
Most of the audience screams in fright. However, the veteran horror movie fans in the theater have seen way too many cheap uses of the jump scare to be fooled. They shake their heads and think about the good old days when movies like The Shining were actually able to genuinely scare them.
Jump Scare by gimmedatsammich April 6, 2011
Infinite Campus
The average/failing/truant student's greatest enemy. No longer are your attendance and academic records only seen by your parents every six weeks. With Infinite Campus, your mother and father have instant access to your grades and attendance records. So if you have a 2.5 GPA and regularly skip bullshit classes, like me, you're fucked.
I got the whooping of my life last night when my dad saw that I got a 38% on my trigonometry test.
Fuck you Infinite Campus.
Fuck you Infinite Campus.
Infinite Campus by gimmedatsammich March 9, 2011