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fubarderby's definitions

estate girl

Female of the species who hangs around late-opening shops, chippies, kiddies' playground, etc. making a nuisance of herself. Often hunt in packs. Wears too much make up. Smokes from the age of 12. Attracted to "phat motors" (AKA skips) driven by "rude boys" (AKA chav scum).

Their goal in life is to get pregnant before they are 14 (i.e. left on the shelf), get a council flat, live "on the social" and then have a few more technicolour children by assorted males until they are 35 and either get stabbed by a child/partner or die of an overdose/lung cancer.
Mutya from The Sugarbabes.
by fubarderby February 11, 2005
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minitab

Statistical analysis software used a lot in 6-sigma/process excellence programmes. The interface is a bit clunky, but the stats behind it is spot on.

It is boring because it just does what it is supposed to do. No fuss, no hassle, no crashes...
I threw my gauge R&R data in to MINITAB and it confirmed what I suspected - the instrument is useless for measuring to the required tolerance.
by fubarderby April 13, 2006
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Yes Car Credit

Dodgy British car finance company that sells rubbish cars (e.g. ex rental Vauxhall Astras) to the desperate.
"I just got out of jail for fraud and owe £250K. Can I have get a Ferrari?"

"Yes you can."
by fubarderby October 22, 2004
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internet expert

A form of armchair expert who gains all their knowledge from the internet and then enlightens others on social media. The accuracy of their source information may be suspect, their analysis and conclusions are likely flawed, but they will shout down anyone who dares to challenge their expertise in the field.
In an online discussion of tractors on a newspaper website I posted that a problem with modern tractors was that a fault with the electronics could stop them dead and require a technician with a laptop to fix. An Internet Expert informed me that it was always possible for a modern tractor to "limp home" however bad the failure "in his experience".

I pointed out that I was a farmer and that for example on a Massey 5465 with Dyna 4 the gear selection is electronic, the rear hydraulics are electronic and a fault in either could strand a tractor in the middle of a field (no power or stuck anchored to the ground by a harrow or plough). The Internet Expert went very quiet!
by fubarderby October 14, 2014
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lumpy jumper

Royal Air Force slang for a female, due to their mammory glands and the tight-fitting issue sweaters.
What's the new supply officer like?
Not too bad, for a lumpy jumper.
by fubarderby June 13, 2004
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dixons

Chain of British electrical retailers that exclusively employs male juvenile retards with bad acne. They all wear cheap shiny suits from Burtons or Top Man (clothing chains that employ the same sort of people).

Dixons make their money on selling dodgy extended warranties by trying to scare you that the screen on your shiny new laptop might break. One time they tried to sell me an extended warranty on a £10 kettle. FFS...
Spotty youth: "You can insure the washing machine against breakdown for 3 years for only £10/month".
Me: "Are you saying that this product which I have not yet paid for is unreliable?".
SY: "Ehhhhh...."
Me: "Besides, if it breaks, I will get a plumber out to fix it and that cannot cost as much as £360".
SY: "Security to checkouts please. We have a customer with a brain".
by fubarderby September 6, 2005
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barista

Idiot: "I work as a barista".
Me (winding up idiot): "So you are a lawyer who works in the High Court?"
Idiot (confused): "Ehhh no I make coffee in Starbucks."
Me (sniggering): "Ahhh, you mean you are a coffee bitch."
by fubarderby December 28, 2008
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