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fubarderby's definitions

internet expert

A form of armchair expert who gains all their knowledge from the internet and then enlightens others on social media. The accuracy of their source information may be suspect, their analysis and conclusions are likely flawed, but they will shout down anyone who dares to challenge their expertise in the field.
In an online discussion of tractors on a newspaper website I posted that a problem with modern tractors was that a fault with the electronics could stop them dead and require a technician with a laptop to fix. An Internet Expert informed me that it was always possible for a modern tractor to "limp home" however bad the failure "in his experience".

I pointed out that I was a farmer and that for example on a Massey 5465 with Dyna 4 the gear selection is electronic, the rear hydraulics are electronic and a fault in either could strand a tractor in the middle of a field (no power or stuck anchored to the ground by a harrow or plough). The Internet Expert went very quiet!
by fubarderby October 14, 2014
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Nottingham

Urban firing range located in the East Midlands of England. The Chief Constable of Notts this week complained publicly that he is going to have to subcontract some murder investigations because his detectives cannot cope with the workload.
Boss: "We want you to move to Hucknall (north side of Nottingham) to work".
Me: "No thanks. I will stay in Derby as it is safer here".
by fubarderby March 16, 2005
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car bling

The crap like spoilers, body kits, bolted fuel caps and stick-on window tinting that boy racers (see also pond scum and chavs) attach to their beaten up Vauxhall Novas to impress their friends.

The end result is a sheep in wolf's clothing.
Rather than buy a proper sports car, I will take this beaten up wreck and make it look like one for almost as much money.
by fubarderby May 13, 2005
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anti-chav

I am bigger than most chavs, so when a load of them (all about 14) tried to block my path on the pavement (because weze izz 'ard innit?), I punched the alpha-chav in the face without warning very hard and spread his nose across his face. He went down like a sack of spuds in front of me, so I "place kicked" his head. The others ran away because they were only used to pushing 12 yr-old goths around and not bigger people who fight back.
Someone call Rentokil to eradicate those chavs hanging around outside the village shop.
by fubarderby February 11, 2005
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anarchist

A good idea, in theory, like socialism, christianity and democracy. However, like those others, it falls down in practice, because it ignores human nature. Human nature is not to be nice to each other, it is to get a big stick, whack the other person over the head and take all his stuff as that is easier than getting your own stuff.
Terence is an anarchist and wears black clothes and big boots so as to not conform to the stereotype of all anarchists wearing black clothes and big boots. We felt obliged to teach him about human nature, so beat 7 bells out of him. Why? Because we can!
by fubarderby February 11, 2005
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BMW

Black Man's Wheels.
Overrated cars that are no better than a Vectra/Mondeo/etc, but have "brand cachet" (i.e. gullible fools are prepared to pay a lot more to get the same thing, but with a nicer badge).
The interiors are horrible. Claustrophobic (come up very high at the front) and in a really nasty grey/blue plastic.
Often driven by accountants, sales reps and estate agents, which says it all...
BMW dealers treat their customers like scum and have their hands in their customers' pockets at every opportunity.
Don't even touch the X3 or X5 SUVs for towing a horsebox. You would be better off getting the horse to tow the car out of a wet field of grass!
Idiot: I have a brand new BMW 325i.
Me: When will you have paid for this toy?
Idiot: Ehhh, about 10 years after I die.
Me: Enjoy...
by fubarderby September 17, 2008
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belt-and-suspenders man

In-the-closet male transvestite. Wears trousers held up with a belt. Underneath wears stockings and suspenders.

If only he knew that he should have used BRACES to provide additional trouser (not pants) security.
Example must have at least 20 letters and 3 words blah blah blah
by fubarderby February 11, 2005
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