5 definitions by evil ian

You Are An Asshole
pronounced "Ye ah uh ah"
Sounds affirmative, is pejorative.

Nothing better for that asshole in your life, maintain that pleasant face and say it loud enough for others to hear, so everyone knows the truth about the double-caf, triple shot, skinny, mocha-chino ordering assholes true hipness.
Frequent demanding customerdupe: Last time I asked for an everything bagel and I got a plain bagel, make sure I get the everything bagel this time, please.

Ever helpful counter help: YAAA! We'll be sure to get it right this time!

Dupe gets what they deserve and everyone working at the deli gets to hear you call that bitch customer an asshole and receive a smile in return.
by evil ian June 10, 2009
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"Chuckling to Myself Mother Fucker"
Combines CTM "chuckling to myself" with CTM "ConcheTuMadre" which means mother fucker.

Allows for use of "mother fucker" in everyday conversation.
James: Oh fuck! I just caught my dick in my zipper!
Billy: CTMCTM
by evil ian June 10, 2009
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ticket taker at movie theater whose job is to tear tickets. often these people have an extremely hard time performing their sole job duty.
The movie is about to start, we hand our tickets to fumble jack, for a soiled minute he sits there in his wheel chair rubbing our tickets together, finally accomplishing his mangling of our souvenir Harry Potter tickets, he says "thank you", yeah "thank you" we chuckle as we walk away then, I head back to the rest room, who is there STANDING UP, yep, Fumble Jack, he got the last laugh, turns out the wheel chair is a standard accessory for the job.
by evil ian November 20, 2010
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Kinder, gentler version of Mother Fucker. Still considered fighting words.
Smoke break...
Taxpayer 1: So, the network can be configured in a number of ways...
Taxpayer 2: Uh huh...
Bum interrupting: Let me buy a smoke from you.
Taxpayer 1: I only have two cigarettes left, so I need to keep them. (puts American Spirit pack back in coat pocket)
Bum (not listening): Let me buy a smoke from you.
Taxpayer 1: No, I don't sell cigarettes.
Bum (still not listening): Let me buy a smoke.
Taxpayer 1: I don't have any cigarettes.
Bum: Oh, why you treating me like that! Fuck my mother! Fuck my mother! I just want a cigarette, why you treating me like that?
Taxpayer 1: I don't want to fuck your mother.
Bum: Fuck my mother! You won't sell me a cigarette! Fuck My Mother! I will find you later, I know you are a cop, that's the only reason I'm not beating you. Undercover pig. Fuck my mother!
Taxpayer 1: I am not a cop.
Bum: Fuck my mother.
Taxpayer 1: Give me your mother's phone number.
Bum: Fuck my mother! You are lucky you are a cop. (walking away) Fuck my mother!
Taxpayer 2: Hhmm.
Taxpayer 1: So, we can add those two machines to the network...
by evil ian March 3, 2011
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Slapping wrist action (usually with some minor hip thrusts) used while dancing, the "spank" is typically in the air, though in some instances contact with a partner is made. Used to simulate coitus, especially "doggy-style."
Girl 1: Did you see that?
Girl 2: What?
Girl 1: When Bev wasn't looking Bob got behind her and gave her a dance spank.
Girl 2: You know she loved it!
Girl 1: Yaaa!
by evil ian June 30, 2009
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