country matters

old slang term for sexual relations.

I write separately only because it would be a shame to not quote Shakespeare on this one.

Hamlet: Lady, shall I lie in your lap?
Ophelia: No, my lord.
Hamlet: I mean my head upon your lap.
Ophelia: Aye, my lord.
Hamlet: Or did you think I meant country matters?
Ophelia: I think nothing, my lord.
Hamlet: That's a fair thought, to lie between maid's legs.

by [e-mail] February 22, 2009

retirement plan

A large caliber handgun kept by one who does not want to get old, so that he won't have to.

"What the Hell are you doing with a .50 Desert Eagle that you've never used?"

"That's just my retirement plan."

by [e-mail] March 07, 2009

Get thee to a nunnery

A statement to a woman that either the world is too harsh for her innocent beauty, or that she innocently brings pain to all the men around her because of her beauty, or ideally, both. The idea is that it would be better if her beauty were left unappreciated for all of her life.

Hamlet: Get thee to a nunnery. Thou wouldst not be a breeder of sinners

by [e-mail] February 23, 2009

yellow bicycle

Bicycles one can find in select American cities (primarily Austin, TX) that are free for your use whenever you find them. Obviously, they are yellow. You are free to take it and ride it to where you want to go, but not to store it, so that once you get to where you want to go, someone else can take it.

It was gonna be a long walk down to Mag's, but I found a yellow bicycle halfway there.

by [e-mail] May 10, 2009

pedagogy complex

A sexual or romantic preoccupation with the student/teacher relationship. This does not have to be literal, and does not have to be sick. It applies when one is turned on by teaching or learning from another person.

Ling is new to the States and doesn't speak English very well. I have a huge pedagogy complex, and I love teaching her English whenever we go out.

by [e-mail] March 06, 2009

relationship pardon

Where, typically at the end of a relationship, one or usually both parties extend forgiveness for all bad acts performed during the course of the relationship.

Ex 1: You never apologized for x.
Ex 2: I didn't have to. It was covered under the relationship pardon.

by [e-mail] February 05, 2009

the needle

Lethal Injection

They can give you 25 to life, or they can give you the needle.

by [e-mail] February 22, 2017