Zamboozee's definitions

Prediscoverer

One who has discovered something important to him before someone else had done so, who had subsequently rediscovered it later on in the time-line but has inadvertently called it his own discovery accidentally on purpose by mistake.

Well, my friend, it was I, by virtue of being its prediscoverer, who first discovered relativity, although you seem to have gotten all the credit for doing so.

by Zamboozee March 30, 2011

Plagiarism

Intellectual copyright theft of the worst kind, or passing off; a ripe forgery in the literary sphere; taking something one took the time and trouble to write out again in a slightly different form and claiming it as one’s own inimitable work as coming from the sweat of one’s brow, and so then, in some vital respect, it must be one’s own work, if only because if one took the time and trouble to do it again in a slightly different way then it must be one’s own intellectual copyright material to do with as one wishes, and so legally, in consequence, it is therefore still intellectual theft from its original owner, and decidedly so also, but then becomes serious only if it is found out.

It was not that the author disagreed with what was written one jot, as he has written it himself, it was that someone else had taken it and published it in his own name, which was plagiarism of the worst kind, and especially so since its original author had not been paid a penny for it either.

by Zamboozee April 5, 2011

Bouquiniste

A French-sounding, indeed unnecessary, word for someone who deals in second hand books, and usually being ones of an obscure or pedantic nature.

Ah, the joy of travelling to Paris to find a bouquiniste, it beats popping down to Cecil Court to find an obscure book on cartography anytime.

by Zamboozee April 13, 2011

Frond

A decorative border of fig leaves; a leaf shaped somewhat like a narrow phallus, as of a seaweed or lichen; personal regalia often used as camouflage by US Marines in hot climates in World War II, but not presently being recommended in the US Armed Services for wear as camouflage or other bodily ornament, for those unfortunates currently serving in an urban jungle of forgotten dreams, or other built up areas or ethnic urban ghettos, either in the States or elsewhere.

The Marine said, “My frond is slipping,” having little or no dress sense while in his current deployment in the field, as he should have just been wearing the right makeup or other appropriate camouflage for the job in the desert of forgotten dreams.

by Zamboozee April 13, 2011

Furball

A tightly packed mass of hair regurgitated by a cat or other feline, or a dog, or an other hairy mammal, that comes from it licking itself all day long because it likes to do it, preferably while people are watching. In humans this behaviour has a scientific name, but it still does not make it any less disgusting.

A middle aged balding man with astigmatism and a sinister squint walks into a doctor’s surgery one day and says to the receptionist, “Well Doc. I puked up this massive hairball from my stomach this morning, straight after breakfast, I guess that this means you think I should stop eating my hair them?” Needless to say the receptionist was none too pleased at hearing this news about a man producing a furball for breakfast, not least because she had just came back from lunch.

by Zamboozee April 13, 2011

Death

The naturally holistic remedy for living popularly seen by most people as being a life-changing event not quite being the opposite of life, but very close to it; or, perhaps more relevantly, some strange metaphysical event to do with the even stranger metaphysical event of being born that, as a consequence, cannot possibly be avoided and so is preferably something to be kept at arm’s length as long as possible, or until it is too late to be avoided anyway.

It is not the concept of death per se that is the problem, it is the knowing that one is dead after one is dead, so to speak, either in heaven or hell, or elsewhere, that can really keep you up at night with insomnia, dead or alive.

by Zamboozee April 13, 2011

Dying

The ultimate state of excitement in a person’s life before a more relaxing interlude takes place; or, a very important event not to be missed by not paying enough attention to it at the time, as, in the rush someone might inadvertently miss the moment of his own death by mistake (or, what is inherent in the process of dying, the precise moment of his death), and so would find himself in a right state because he would not quite know what to do with himself next, he being dead, as he having missed paying enough attention at the time to the second most important event in his life, which would clearly be a right kettle of fish.

Die inadvertently, my word! that would be the last thing I’d do, as dying is a thing that must be done right, even if one has not particularly managed to live well.

by Zamboozee April 15, 2011