Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx's definitions

2001

A very interesting year. The beginning of it was a time to be alive. The 90's were still going full speed, the economy was booming, and the world seemed like it was finally resolved. It truly felt like the "happily ever after" part after a shit show of a century (the 1900's). As the roaring 20's should have taught us, though, good generations come to a very abrupt end. 9/11 happened in September of 2001 and it brought this great generation to an end. The US was just getting over the cold war and then we once again entered a war. The economy has struggled ever since, and it seems kids are becoming more and more dysfunctional. The end of 2001 was depression. It felt like the 90's had been given to us and then taken away in a heartbeat.

Jake (in August 2001): Dude what a time to be alive the economy is booming and the 2000's will be even better than the 90's.

Josh: I wouldn't be so sure, remember what happened to the roaring 20's?

Jake: Nah bro the 2000's will be just like the 90's. Nothing can change it.

Jake: (1 month later): Ah shit man the twin towers got attacked and now we're in a war in Iraq, and there's a bunch of mass shootings everywhere. All these kids are getting cell phones and being dysfunctional. Damn, what a HORRIBLE time to be alive.

Josh: See I told you! Now I'll be grateful that I cherished the good times.

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx July 7, 2020

Divorce

Something 50% of married couples get when they can't overcome their stupid differences and are willing to put their kids through pain and misery because they can't act like adults and overcome their differences.

That's 75% of divorces. The other 25% are for good reason, like abuse, drugs, or infidelity, but most divorces are over stupid shit that the couple could just grow up and overcome.'

Also, only an idiot can have a divorce more than once.

50% of Married couples get a divorce.

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx July 11, 2020

Grown Ass

When you call someone a grown ass, you're basically calling them a grown up and telling them they need to start acting like one.

"come on Jerry, you're a grown ass man, stop driving your go kart around your yard!"

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx June 9, 2020

Redneck

A rural middle class worker who's neck is sunburnt from long hours working on a farm, hence the name redneck.

You know you're a redneck if:

You have a boat in your driveway even if you live 100 miles from the ocean and haven't moved it since you bought it.
You have 15 campers in your yard
You haven't mowed your lawn in 15 years
You have a beat up 1999 pickup truck with trump stickers all over it
You take up two or more parking spots when you park
Your dining room is full of dirty clothes
You disowned your gay son and your feminist daughter
You have 15 dui's but still somehow have your licence
You've been married 5 times and have many illegitimate children
You beat your wife until she threatens you with a gun
Your barn burned down because you left a burning cigar in it
You sit on the porch chainsmoking and chugging beers every night
All your kids are named after confederate war generals
You claim to love America but yet you fly a confederate flag
You're racist
You deny the Holocaust
You use public bathrooms to save on your water bill and toilet paper
You have an antenna up and watch pirated tv stations instead of buying cable
You live in North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, Kentucky, West Virginia, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Arkansas, Texas, or Missouri
Your kids don't go to school, instead they get a "real education" by working on your ranch
You claim to be a "real christian" despite being a pothead, alcoholic, and being divorced 5 times and disowning your kids
Your wife weighs more than your 20 kids combined

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx July 9, 2020

I got hacked!

When you say something or post something on the internet that you regret, and a bunch of people see it and you're embarrassed, you save yourself by saying you got hacked and it wasn't you who posted it. Luckily, this does occasionally happen, so it's a believable story, and no one can hold you accountable for what you said.

James: Posts: Man I'm having a shitty day I hope my boss dies! *regrets the post the next day*

Boss: James, why did you shit talk me on facebook?

James: I got hacked! Chill out!

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx September 18, 2020

Thomas Lane

The Rookie Cop who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. His boss, Derek Chauvin, murdered George Floyd right in front of him, but Mr. Lane, only on his 3rd day on the job, was unsure of what to do. He followed Mr Floyd into the ambulance and attempted CPR, to no avail.

Now he is facing aiding and abetting murder charges and may spend up to 40 years in prison. He is being wrongly accused of something he had no experience to control.

He currently is free on bail, but this might change on his March 3 trial date. I hope he wins the trial, because he truly was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Thomas Lane is the only innocent cop involved in George Floyd's death, the other three assholes are guilty.

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx July 27, 2020

Derek Chauvin

The dickhead who murdered George Floyd and made all cops look like racist assholes when they, in fact, are not. He killed George Floyd on May 25, 2020, and was charged and arrested a week later. After spending 4 months in state prison, he was released on October 7 after posting a $1 million dollar bond. He is set to stand trial in March of 2021, but in all likelihood the case will be delayed now that he’s out on bail.

Do I think he’s racist? No. He married an Asian woman. I think he did the killing just because he was sick of dealing with crackheads. Again, not justifying or downplaying, just my inference. He’s still a murderer. Nonetheless, he’s a free man (at least for now)

Did anyone else hear that Derek Chauvin was released from prison?

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx October 7, 2020