Trav's definitions

RPAV

Slang military acronym for Rice Paddy Assault Vehicle. Refers to the utility tractors used by Korean farmers to tend their rice paddies. The vehicle looks like a cross between along skinny riding lawn mower, swamp buggy and rotor tiller with a single huge headlight. An unlimited assortment of junk that would make Inspector Gadget smile can be attached to the vehicles from tillers and fertilizers to harvesters and trailers. They are a common site/road hazard to soldiers having to drive in and around the Korean countryside since they are often used as the farmer’s primary means of transportation. They have been seen parked in front of grocery stores, bars and movie theaters.

I just saw a teenage Korean kid crusing the strip in his RPAV.

by Trav October 1, 2004

long softy

A semi-erect penis that gives the false impression that its' owner is well hung.

Man, that chick just walked in on me in the shower! Luckily I had a long softy going on.

by Trav September 27, 2004

The Mad Shitter

Term used primarily in the U.S. Army. Refers to deranged individuals that leave steaming piles of poo in conspicuous areas or sometimes in or on your personal equipment. Most of the time their aim is to shock or disgust the discoverers; other times they aim to cause illness by attacking food or water sources. Most attacks are meant as practical jokes played between units but occasionally they are meant as acts revenge. Areas that the Mad Shitter has been known to strike: Public showers; on top of toilet seats; in sleeping bags; in hats or berets; in cars; in water tanks; on the hoods of cars; on desks.

Bad - “SONOFABITCH! The Mad Shitter hit our shower again last night. I bet it was one of those pricks from 1st platoon. I ain’t going to clean it up this time.”

Good – “Did you hear? The Mad Shitter laid a log on the toilet seat in the Officer Only Porta John.”
“Sweet. Serves them right for thinking that they’re special.”

by Trav May 19, 2005

Operation Golden Flow

Military term used for a routine urinaysis test.

Dude, Johnson just got busted on Operation Golden Flow for doing E.

by Trav September 24, 2004

onion head

Military term for a newbie or green troop. Refers to the pitiful cue ballish hair cut that new recruits get during basic training.

Get ready. We’re supposed to get in 6 new onion heads this week.

by Trav September 27, 2004

PX Ranger

Any retard in the U.S. Army that goes to the PX, buys military awards and/or decorations that they didn’t earn and then pins them on their chest so that they can go around looking like a hero. These yahoos often claim to have served in the Rangers or Force Recon or some other elite unit, but that they got out because of an injury or because they got tired of the B.S.

Private Snuffy – “Hey, that new mess sergeant is a bad ass. He served with the Rangers in Vietnam, Panama, Afghanistan and Iraq. He says that he got a field commission to Captain after he won the Silver Star but he got busted back down and kicked out of the Infantry because he punched his CO in the face.”
Sergeant – “He’s full of crap.”
Private Snuffy – “No way, I saw his rack of ribbons and his Ranger tab on his shoulder.”
Sergeant – “Damnit, haven’t you ever heard of a PX ranger? Besides. How old was he during Nam? Two?”

by Trav October 26, 2004

flap lapper

One more word for a lesbian.

“Hey, that new chick in the company is kinda cute.”

“No chance dude. Have you noticed her hoop earrings, the thumb ring and collection of Indigo Girl CDs? She’s got to be a flap lapper.

by Trav October 1, 2004