6 definitions by Tommy_John
When you’re trying to play it cool and professional, but you’ve got some dirty business going on in your pants. Your loose-cut boxer briefs have to be put in their place so your manhood doesn’t get smushed and knocked around. So you pick a side and let it ride.
Every Friday, Dave wears the same jeans, and every Friday he’s at it with that same aggressive, two-handed Side Hustle. Nothing business casual about it.
by Tommy_John October 13, 2015
When your underwear rides up, so you’ve gotta drop it low real quick. You may think that the added theatrics of this move distract from the fact that your package is getting mummy-wrapped by your 100%-cotton christmas cat boxers. But really, it just looks like you’re trying to lay an egg.
This is the third time since Memorial Day that he’s blown out the crotch in his white chinos. Dude’s gotta lay off with the ball drop.
by Tommy_John October 13, 2015
When you’re trying to discreetly pick a wedgie, but you focus so much on being sneaky to the people in front of you, that you accidentally put on a full show for the people behind you.
The smell of the Gorgonzola cream sauce was made immediately unappetizing by the Sidewalk Service they were receiving from the man at the window. If only he’d worn different underwear.
by Tommy_John October 13, 2015
When excess underwear traffic squeezes in on your crotch rocket. You have to find some breathing room, commit to a line and hope everything stays in its designated lane.
by Tommy_John October 13, 2015
When you’ve got to get in there and remove a possibly life-threatening wedgie before it spreads. In-and-out. Precise. Non-evasive. Take a little time to recover, and you’ll be good-as-new in no time.
Ralph’s Surgical Strike to his lumpy cotton briefs was deep, but precise; the only scarring it left was on the memories of those who witnessed.
by Tommy_John October 13, 2015
When you reach down to adjust your junk, and everybody’s watching, and all you can do is play it off like, “Yo. Whaddup. This goes out to everybody in the house tonight.”
His underwear wasn’t feelin’ his drop-crotch pants, so he pulled out the Party Starter as he rolled to the bar.
by Tommy_John October 13, 2015