1015 definitions by The Original Agahnim
That dork Sherman wouldn't wipe his ass with anything higher than 200 grit sandpaper because he thought anything higher than that was for pussies.
by The Original Agahnim November 22, 2021
The dork that got mad about his/her head almost exploding when the guy stared at him/her would have gladly been a lifelong student if someone had been willing to pay all of his/her college expenses. The hardass image was just a facade, since he/she thought that everybody acted that way all the time in real life (just like a character from a book or novel).
by The Original Agahnim December 4, 2021
Someone trying to get in a world others have been out of since high school or shortly after high school.
That dork is in his/her 30's or 40's and is still trying to steal/plagiarize our high school lines and spit in food like we did as teenagers, his/her new favorite lines are "Would you like fries with that?" and "Go away" (he/she thinks it makes him/her sound tough), and he/she thinks that he/she is the first/only (original) person to have ever said either of those things or gotten angry at somebody that came through a drive through or walked in a restaurant, because he/she is a narcissist, someone that really believes that he/she has had to be more sub serviant than everyone else for his/her entire life, and has had a harder life than everyone else.
by The Original Agahnim November 22, 2021
Someone that gets a job at a fast food restaurant in their 30's not because they enjoy the work (since nobody does it for the money), but because they want to get in with the crowd they never got in with in high school, they're doing it to earn stripes with people (which will one day serve them, they hope).
The dork hated working at Taco Bell as most other people that aren't going to be there for 20 years do (the ones that enjoy their work have their reason for being there), but stayed around for a while to try and make himself look and sound tough so that he/she could one day have something to show for it, he/she even took a few pictures of himself/herself at a drive through with a headset on spitting in food, just to tell his/her friends/family/anyone that gave a fuck "I did that shit too, just like them, now I'm cool and I can fuck with anyone's life I want to!"
by The Original Agahnim November 22, 2021
Somebody that constantly has to have a game to play or a song to sing just to make it a few miles down the road in a car. Someone that has to read a murder mystery novel to come up with a way to have somebody offed (by a hitman for example). Somebody that uses their own face on an uninspired painting, or paints something in the vicinity because they are a narcissist that lacks imagination.
The dork might have been helpless to kill her husband if she hadn't read the murder mystery about how to hire a hitman and get away with the murder. She lived her entire life as a coward, so she wouldn't try it if the odds were against her getting away with it at some point, or at least getting her sentence reduced.
by The Original Agahnim November 28, 2021
Someone that got made fun of a lot in school then becomes a murderous socialite later in life to show the world how badass she really was along (even if it was the hitman that did her actual dirty work).
The black widow wasn't the one that bit her husband's head off, she was much too cowardly for that, she had to have a hitman he never met or suspected to be a hitman shoot him dead. She was someone that would never see in the mirror the dork everyone else saw when they looked at her.
by The Original Agahnim November 28, 2021
Everybody else including me was studying the same shit the dork was, though she was the one still asking everybody what the fuck is going on and saying she didn't get it, at which point everyone else had to take time they didn't have to explain to the dork what was going on, though it was still a lost cause.
by The Original Agahnim August 28, 2021