Telephony's definitions

computator

Somebody who spends the majority of their free time on their computer.

May also be used to describe the computer neophyte.

{From a TV spot for portable generators}:

Got a new incinerator,
Got a cool refrigerator,
Smell ya later computator
WORK! HOME!! PLAY!!!

by Telephony July 3, 2014

Twenty Stick-Bent-Stick

The year 2015 (written or typed) as seen from above looks like bent sticks.

{As a daily check-in on a BBS about wheelchairs might look)}:

01-02-15 {or "2015 02 Jan.", or even "January 02, Twenty Stick-Bent-Stick" if you prefer}
Just making my daily check-in from Juneau AK. USA...my people (who live in Nicaragua) we have but two bungholes...er...uh...I mean I only have a sodding pair of updates for my website today"...the first concerns my having added a flight video of my Syma Armor F1 Single-Rotor R/C Helicopter (with Li:Poly battery) to a web page made for just that purpose, and the second is...well, what else could it be? An adulterated bag of dry cat food? YAAAAYYY YOU GOT ONE CORRECT!!!

by Telephony December 4, 2014

Collecto

What a Kentucky Fried Chicken employee often calls the Winston Collectramatic; the small pressurised deep fat fryer used for Original Recipe chicken.

Todd, it's your turn to clean the Collecto this time.

by Telephony January 24, 2011

I don't give a dirty handkerchief

Means the same as, "I don't give a flying fuck", "I don't give a Funyun", "I don't give a rat's patootie", etc.
This is a clean way of saying it -- though that hankie really needs to go in the wash. :-)

WarGrowlmon: What? Beelzemon?

Taomon: What are you doing here?

Rapidmon: Looking to hit us while we’re down, huh? That’s your style right?

Beelzemon: Hey, trash me if you want but I swear I’m here to help.

Rapidmon: Do you even know the meaning of the word?

Beelzemon: I’m on the level fellas, really.

WarGrowlmon growls at him.

Beelzemon: But I don't give a dirty handkerchief if you believe me or not, cause my partners believe in me.

Flashback to Mako giving Impmon his gun.

Mako: You can blast all the bad guys with it.

by Telephony December 24, 2014

voluntary loss of stool

When you have to leave a shit (I know, it's supposed to be take a shit, but in the immortal words of the late great comedian George Carlin, you don't take a shit, you leave a shit!), you tell whomever is nearby that you need to go and experience voluntary loss of stool.
This is the most gentle, curse-free way to say that you need to go and pinch a loaf.

{Paul}: Hold on a few minutes there George, I need to run and have voluntary loss of stool!
{George}: Ok, whatever Paul. :-/

by Telephony December 30, 2014

Metrosexual

A man who has a sexual attraction to city buses; esp. in Seattle where the transit system is called Metro and the buses are all labelled Metro on their fronts.

{Juan}: Hey Larry! Did you know that John is a Metrosexual?
{Larry}: Yes I did Juan; I've known that for years if not decades now. He's a real fucking bus freak.

by Telephony June 12, 2018

5 minute pisses

This phrase means much the same as coffee penus, but can be used by both males and females (since all females except for perhaps late pre-op transsexuals do not have dicks).

{Jesús}: Cummon Horhay, let's get going!
{Horhay}: I'm afraid I'll have to pass; I've got the 5 minute pisses from having drank half a pot of coffee.

by Telephony May 18, 2014