Telephony's definitions

douchenoozle

A common misspelling of the word douchenozzle; the misspelling became the norm at a BBS about TV commercials we all hate; it then became rather commonplace.

Dave is such a fucking douchenoozle for stuffing a roll of paper towelling and three boxes of tampons down our toliet bowl.

by Telephony December 6, 2011

eternal darnation

A nicer way of saying the phrase, "eternal damnation", which means you'll go to Hell and be poked at with hot pitchforks wielded by Satan and his minions for ever and ever.

I didn't worship Gosh, so now I'm going to go to Heck and receive eternal darnation!

by Telephony July 13, 2014

horse puckey cat

A cat whos ass smells like horse shit.
Cats putting their litterbox muscles in your face is not as uncommon as one might think, so you can get a snootful fairly readily. :-/

Piss you!!! My f'in cat is a true horse puckey cat if ever there was one!!!

by Telephony April 24, 2015

poo-poo spray

Any type of air deodorant / air freshener that comes in an aerosol bomb (spray can).

{Marge}: Homer, did you just leave a big fat shit in our toliet?
{Homer}: Yes dear, and I even remembered to flush!
{Marge}: The bathroom stinks to high heaven; next time please use the poo-poo spray, ok?

by Telephony July 30, 2016

Textie McTexterson

Somebody who spends almost every waking minute on his or her cellular telephone handset texting.

Alex, I've picked out a cellular telephone phone just for you, Mr. Textie McTexterson!!!

by Telephony January 9, 2019

flashaholic

Somebody who is really addicted to flashlights.

A typical flashaholic might have dozens of them; hardcore flashaholics might have hundreds or (in one documented case) close to 1,500 of the bright little suckers!!!
The word was coined a number of years ago on a BBS about flashlights.

Hey Josh!
Did you hear that Craig is a true flashaholic, with 1,497 flashlights, lasers, and other assorted things that flash, blink, or otherwise emit EM radiation in the range of 380nm to 780nm?
What a kick in the head!!!

by Telephony January 13, 2011

down the tube

Another way of saying that something is really going to pot -- when you say such-and-such is going down the tube, it is spiraling downhill extremely rapidly.

Man this drone flight is really going down the tube...O FUCK, There's a tree!!! (*CRASH!!!*)

That woman's performance on American Idol started to go down the tube when she forgot a critical lyric to the song she was performing.

by Telephony October 8, 2018