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Telephony's definitions

ass mallet

{Seen on a drone aerial video on YouTube}:

While I was flying the drone, I "heard" a jingle for Bob's Discount Furniture but with altered lyrics.
To wit:

♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics ♪
♪ From your βµṁ#Ø£€** to your ṕ€nµs

♪ Some ass mallet pee'd on a fembot!!! ♪
{~850ms pause}
♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics! ♪
by Telephony September 17, 2021
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ear pollution

Very similar to noise pollution; ear pollution is generally regarded as music that is audible to a listener who's taste in musical genres differs greatly from the music currently playing.

For example, a metal song (such as by Anthrax or Metallica) playing within earshot of a listener of adult contemporary or country western music playing rather loudly when the listener is a metalhead would be considered by that listener as ear pollution.
Turn that gosh darn-diddly-arn ear pollution down willya?!? I'm trying to get some Kenny Rogers in over here!!!
by Telephony May 3, 2016
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mikat

Pronounced like "my cat"; the word "mikat" is used to refer to one's own kitty cat.
That's a good girl Nikki!!!
You're mikat!!!
by Telephony December 27, 2011
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p-whipped

A nicer way of using the word pussywhipped -- this way of spelling it also bypasses the onboard censors found on many BBSs.
Jeff was so p-whipped, he couldn't even uranate without his domineering wife knowing about it.
by Telephony August 16, 2011
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Worker's Constipation

What the term, "Worker's Compensation" is to Butt-Head on the Beavis and Butt-Head episode, "Work is Death".
{Burger World Manager}: Be careful in the kitchen, Burger world can not afford to pay out any more Worker's Compensation.

Butthead: Uhhh, Worker's Constipation?

Beavis: Yeah, yeah, I get that all the time at work when I can't take a poop.
by Telephony July 20, 2020
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shitted off

It means the same as pissed off but with much more severity.
Jack was piddled-off...no, pissed off...er...um...fucking shitted off that some true-blue total asshaberdasher had kicked the urinal off the wall and then smashed it to bits with a hammer, knowing full well that it will be months before Jack can afford to have it replaced!
by Telephony September 7, 2019
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fish food

What a dead body becomes after it is creamated; not all that unlike, "worm food" which is what a dead body becomes when it is buried in a graveyard.

It's called fish food because the ashes of dead people are frequently sprinkled into sizable bodies of water such as lakes, harbours, channels, sounds, bays, oceans, etc.
{Aaron): Hey Jimbo, didjya hear that Bernie in Juneau got hosed down last weekend?
{Jimbo}: Yeah, he became fish food a couple of days ago; I think that the video of Bernie's parents sprinkling his ashes in Gastineau Channel is on YouTube by now -- if they have YouTube in Alaska anyway.
by Telephony December 13, 2012
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