untruthful flexible container of feces

A polite way of saying the phrase, "lying sack of shit"; it can be used in typed text or spoken.

You claim that Linda stuffs Scottowels down the can?!?
Why Josh, you untruthful flexible container of feces!!!

by Telephony May 04, 2013

Hose down

To shoot somebody with a gun; shooting in such a manner that the target is either dead as a doorknob or unable to walk away.

Did you hear that Bernie in Seattle got hosed down last week?

I so want to hose down that dumb stupid enemabag, but I don't want to go to jail.

by Telephony September 14, 2010

ass mallet

Another term for an asshole.

{Seen on a drone aerial video on YouTube}:

While I was flying the drone, I "heard" a jingle for Bob's Discount Furniture but with altered lyrics.
To wit:

♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics ♪
♪ From your βµṁ#Ø£€** to your ṕ€nµs

♪ Some ass mallet pee'd on a fembot!!! ♪
{~850ms pause}
♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics! ♪

by Telephony September 17, 2021

uronium

Chemical symbol: Un.
Atomic number 327.
An odoriferous brown substance that usually exists between the toliet seat hinges and the bowl.
Uronium may also appear around the bolts that hold the toliet to the floor.

Some people choose to ignore uronium; choosing instead to mask its unique odor with Glade® Plug-Ins® or Wizard™ aerosol.

by Telephony October 24, 2010

asshole thermometer

Another name for a rectal thermometer.

Hey Jerry, don't put that fucking thing in your mouth cos it's an asshole thermometer!

by Telephony May 15, 2016

woodpeckerhead

A woodpecker (sp. Picidae) that, from some angles, its head looks like a pecker (dick, cock, willie, johnson, penus, penis, etc. is known as a woodpeckerhead.

Look at the head of that woodpecker over there! It's a woodpeckerhead!!!

by Telephony April 06, 2015

I'm a Little Toilet

A parody of the children's song, "I'm a Little Teapot".

♫I'm a little toilet,♫
♫Full of soul.♫
♫This is my cistern♫
♫And here is my bowl.♫

by Telephony July 26, 2014