6 definitions by Slartibartfast11
When an author gets revenge on someone they hate by inserting them into a book and making them a horrible person.
Named after Michael Crichton, who put one of his critics into his next book and made him into a baby rapist with a small penis.
In Crichton's defense, the critic was a toolbag.
Named after Michael Crichton, who put one of his critics into his next book and made him into a baby rapist with a small penis.
In Crichton's defense, the critic was a toolbag.
Laura: Hi, remember me? You used to mock me back in Junior High.
Gwen: Yeah, so what?
Laura: I published a book and decided to feature you as a character. You have a mustache, saggy tits, and you're romantically interested in sheep.
Gwen: Aw, shit!
Laura: You've been Michael Crichton'd, bitch!
Gwen: Yeah, so what?
Laura: I published a book and decided to feature you as a character. You have a mustache, saggy tits, and you're romantically interested in sheep.
Gwen: Aw, shit!
Laura: You've been Michael Crichton'd, bitch!
by Slartibartfast11 January 3, 2010
John: How was your daughter's birthday last weekend?
Bob: It was going great, until the preview for that Twilight movie came on. She had an instantaneous orgasm.
John: Your daughter?
Bob: Her and my wife.
Bob: It was going great, until the preview for that Twilight movie came on. She had an instantaneous orgasm.
John: Your daughter?
Bob: Her and my wife.
by Slartibartfast11 December 11, 2009
Johnny: "Did you see that scene where the dude fucks an inflatable sheep?"
Alexis: "Yeah, it was terrible. What were they even thinking?"
Johnny: "I say, it was downright unmasturbatable!"
Alexis: "Yeah, it was terrible. What were they even thinking?"
Johnny: "I say, it was downright unmasturbatable!"
by Slartibartfast11 February 14, 2023
A literary device in which a writer inserts a real-life person into their book in a very unflattering way. To ward off a potential lawsuit, the writer gives the character an unfavorable attribute, typically a small penis. That way, the real-life person is unlikely to protest his characterization, because by doing so he would be admitting that he has a small penis.
Shirley had always hated Officer John Lyons, ever since he'd slept with her mother. To get revenge, when she published her latest book one of the minor characters was a man named Officer Jon Lions.
Officer Lions had trouble with the ladies because of his small penis and the fact that he could only stay hard by watching beastiality porn.
Officer Lyons wanted to sue, but couldn't bring himself to do so because everyone on the force would then know he had a small penis.
Once again, the small penis rule worked perfectly.
Officer Lions had trouble with the ladies because of his small penis and the fact that he could only stay hard by watching beastiality porn.
Officer Lyons wanted to sue, but couldn't bring himself to do so because everyone on the force would then know he had a small penis.
Once again, the small penis rule worked perfectly.
by Slartibartfast11 March 25, 2011
Albert: Dude, I'm so glad that tomorrow's Saturday.
Marshall: I know, and the day after that is Sunday!
Albert: .....
Marshall: And yesterday is Thursday!
Albert: .....
Marshall: And today is Friday!
Albert: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Marshall: I just learned it from that Rebecca Black song about fried eggs!
Albert: .....
Marshall: Damn, I want some cereal.
Marshall: I know, and the day after that is Sunday!
Albert: .....
Marshall: And yesterday is Thursday!
Albert: .....
Marshall: And today is Friday!
Albert: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Marshall: I just learned it from that Rebecca Black song about fried eggs!
Albert: .....
Marshall: Damn, I want some cereal.
by Slartibartfast11 March 24, 2011
Apple's revolutionary new sanitary napkin device for females. The iPad senses when it's that time of the month and automatically sends a message to a pre-programmed phone number, letting your man know that he's not getting sex tonight. Sensors tuned in to your brainwaves can accurately forecast your mood up to 12 hours in advance, automatically queueing up The Notebook in your Netflix video on demand while simultaneously ordering chocolate to be delivered to your front door.
Forget tampons. Try the iPad today!
Forget tampons. Try the iPad today!
Andre: ...it was seriously the biggest fish I have ever caught dude - hang on I got a text. Oh fuck.
Tim: What's going on today?
Andre: I just got a message from my wife's iPad. It's forecasting her mood as "Nazi bitch".
Tim: Dude, I would not want to be you.
Andre: Yeah, can I spend the night on your couch?
Tim: What's going on today?
Andre: I just got a message from my wife's iPad. It's forecasting her mood as "Nazi bitch".
Tim: Dude, I would not want to be you.
Andre: Yeah, can I spend the night on your couch?
by Slartibartfast11 February 2, 2010