Shumado's definitions

adam's ale

Water. A tongue-in-cheek joke derived from the creation story in the Bible. Adam was the first man in the Garden of Eden; he lived a pure lifestyle in communion with God. Before the fall, he was unclothed an eating just fruits and vegetables in the garden, therefore the only thing to drink was water.

Bartender: "So you're on the wagon? Well we've got some fine Adam's Ale on tap for you."

by Shumado January 8, 2017

provincial

describing people who only care about eating, sleeping, making money, and owning crap. Very unimaginative, uncultured people with no concept of the arts, history, language, faith, travel, or why any those things should be valued. Has not visited a library or museum since the 7th grade. Doesn't know the name of a bluebird (really). Like Mr. Banks in Mary Poppins, they "can't see past the end of their nose".

Bell in Beauty and the Beast: "I want much more than this provincial life!"

by Shumado April 14, 2015

glamazon

a woman with an overdeveloped sense of beauty, glamour, and fashion. Akin to a beauty warrior or fashion police, a glamazon worships glamour and can be belligerent toward anyone who does not share the same sensibility.

"and then she uninvited me to the party because I didn't wear earrings to the gym!"

What a glamazon! She needs to get real!

by Shumado February 27, 2011

Co-dependent

Often describing someone who finds all their value as a human being in having a romantic relationship. If they are single, they feel like a total failure and therefore will put up with all kinds of possessive, unhealthy Mr/Ms. Wrongs to bolster their own self worth.

Often seen in high school sweethearts who date all the way through college and into mid-20s. Even though annoyed and bored with each other, they still refuse to break up because they can't stand being single.

Debbie said she always knew Jason wasn't 'the one', but still dated him for 7 years. She's as co-dependent as a barnacle.

by Shumado May 18, 2014

blue gum

a racial slur for an African American. Connotes a lazy, silly-dumb, manual laborer. Derogatory, but not as derogatory as the "n" word. You'll probably still get beat up if you use it in company.

Those blue gums up the crik eat nothin' but watermelons.

by Shumado April 10, 2015

Redneck

someone who is unwilling to change, and who is prejudiced against outsiders and those not sharing their worldview.

Rednecks live their entire lives in the same area, usually rural, as there is too much diversity in cities. They tend to keep the same opinions as their parents and grandparents; family values and bigotry alike are passed down and kept alive through the younger generation. A lack of taste (in clothing, housing, decor, tv shows) is common, but not a fast rule. There are rednecks in every country, but they sometimes go by different names depending on region.

Annie Jo: "My Momma said that if God wanted black people and white people to get married, he would have made them the same color."

Allison: "Why would God care if people's skin color matched? Don't be such a redneck."

by Shumado December 24, 2010

tool

a person who does what everyone else expects them to do. Whatever gets them the most praise or popularity, whether it is good or bad or dumb, they just do it unquestioningly. A person who is being taken advantage of but they just eat it up with a spoon and ask for seconds. Some tools don't understand that they are being used, others do and will complain incessantly about being unfairly treated, while having no intention of doing anything about it.

Jim is always complaining about his horrible miserable job, but he will never take the trouble of looking for a better one. What a tool!

by Shumado December 3, 2013