4 definitions by Psycho-J

premeditated infirmary

The act of pretending to have symptoms of illness at work (i.e. excessive coughing, pretending to vomit) in an effort to convince everyone that you are really sick. This way when you play hookie on the monday after your weekend drinking binge your co-workers will believe that your calling-in-sick is legitimate.

Man #1: "Man, Ken sure is coughing a lot, and makes a point that everyone can hear it."
Man #2: "Yeah, but listen to how fake that obviously is...he's practicing premeditated infirmary..."
Man #1: "Yeah I thought it sounded fake, what tool"

*THAT MONDAY*

Man #1: "I see Kenny didn't come to work today"
Man #2: "Douchebag...."

by Psycho-J December 1, 2006

Premeditated Retardation

The act of actually taking the time to come up with a retarded idea in order to either A)Amuse your friends or B)Amuse yourself. What people usually don't undersand is that "A)" will never happen because people will just think you are a retard.

Walking into the factory with just his pajamas on, the man didn't realize he had just committed Premeditated Retardation.

by Psycho-J November 23, 2004

MINE!

The statement that EVERYTHING is your doing...self-exclamation that you are "the chit" or you are responsible for everything that exists in your area.

That right there...MINE!
This over here...MINE!
That sheet you just made...MINE!
The air around me that you breathe...MINE!

by Psycho-J November 23, 2004

Lackanookieitis

The mental disease contracted by not getting any poon over a long period of time. Symptoms include increased porn viewing and more frequent masturbation (yes, even more than usual).

Known Cures: Prostitutes, Single's Bars and Frat Parties.

After chokin' the chicken for the 5th time in one day, Ken realized he had contracted Lackanookieitis and consulted the local Prostitute for "help".

by Psycho-J November 23, 2004