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Mike109999's definitions

Emotional Colonic

Having a 20-30 minute vent session with a friend where you unload and perge all of your internal crap. You feel like a weight is lifted from you, figuratively and literally.

When you are done, you literally are lighter, more focused, and less full of emotional shit.
Lauren: Vicky, thanks so much for the emotional colonic yesterday, you're a great friend.

Victoria: No problem, life clogs us all up at some point.

Lauren: Ya, I just hadn't talked about hooking up with the guys from B2K and I just HAD to tell someone.
by Mike109999 August 29, 2018
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Steph Curry Syndrome

When your mom is infinitely hotter than your wife, and it causes a slow and silent, but intense, awkwardness within your family and for all involved.
John: Hey Mark, you want to invite Rich to go to Dockers with us for Breakfast, he could bring his wife and kids.

Mark: Nah, his parents are in town and he has serious Steph Curry Syndrome, so I try to stay away.

John: Oh right, right, man it was so awkward last Halloween when they both dressed as Spice Girls and everyone was hitting on his mom.
by Mike109999 June 12, 2019
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White Collar Steroids

When someone at work has an artificial and unfair advantage over their peers, due to their parents or family being connected. This helps them get jobs, get introduced to people, invited to social events, etc...
Alex: John is really doing well at his career, he just got a killer job.

Mike: Oh, his dad got him that job, donated $25k also to the company's charity.

Alex: Ah, White Collar Steroids. I should have known. John is an idiot.
by Mike109999 August 1, 2020
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Rally-Squatch

When a very hairy-chested man has gone the entire night without scoring a girl, in a last ditch attempt to get anyone's attention before the bar closes, he unbuttons the top few buttons of his shirt and shows of his sasquatch-like qualities.

This is the pick-up version of a rally cap in baseball.
Ronald: Dude, there are so many chicks here tonight but they all look taken.

Mikey: Break out your Rally-Squatch, it ALWAYS works.

Ronald: Cant tonight, I only have 5 condoms left.
by Mike109999 October 10, 2013
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PTSLAD?

Acronym for Permission To Sound Like A Douche.

When in conversation and the next talking points are in context and push the dialogue forward, but you will sound like a douche.

You emotionally prepare people by asking permission to sound like a douche, mostly to soften the landing of said douchiness.
PMF: Ya, I just think teams overcharging for ticket prices is absurd.

JBT: PTSLAD?

PMF: Please...

JBT: You know Paul, what people don't understand, is that sports is a business.
by Mike109999 December 29, 2022
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White Collar Friend Zone

When you are working for free in hopes of getting paid in the future, but the client does not value you or your work to pay you, aka take it to the next level.
Chrissy: Ya, I've been doing some work for Tony, if he gets this new big contract, he is going to pay me, but for now, I am just gonna lay low.

Adriana: Chrissy, you have been doing this for 6 months and he hasn't paid you. You're in the White Collar Friend Zone. Even if he gets the contract, he is never going to pay.
by Mike109999 September 1, 2023
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White Collar Compound Interest

The exponential growth from positive professional experiences and jobs that grow over the years.
Warren: So cool you got this great new job from a contact you made almost 20 years ago.

Bruce: Ya, I met her at a networking event in 2006 right after my first promotion to get invited a trade show she hosted. Love that we stayed in touch and she recommended me for this role.

Warren: That's White Collar Compound Interest paying off, Brosef.
by Mike109999 September 2, 2023
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