Definitions by Mike109999
Psychological Levon Kirkland
When something seems so certain but it is in fact the opposite, just like how it seems impossible to watch 300 lb. linebacker Levon Kirkland be one of the fastest players on the field.
Loh: Do you think it's weird I bring more clothes on a trip than my girlfriend?
Brett: Brosef, you've been a Psychological Levon Kirkland since the day I found out you suffer from Sports PTSD from your 4 sports teams AND have been to 75 Taylor Swift concerts in 6 continents.
David: Seriously, you only shower twice a week, eat Mac and cheese out of the pot, but know all of Tay's songs backwards and forwards. You have a super odd Brofile.
Loh: PTSLAD? She transcends traditional pop culture norms and her music just speaks to me.
David: Ok, We're Done Here.
Brett: Brosef, you've been a Psychological Levon Kirkland since the day I found out you suffer from Sports PTSD from your 4 sports teams AND have been to 75 Taylor Swift concerts in 6 continents.
David: Seriously, you only shower twice a week, eat Mac and cheese out of the pot, but know all of Tay's songs backwards and forwards. You have a super odd Brofile.
Loh: PTSLAD? She transcends traditional pop culture norms and her music just speaks to me.
David: Ok, We're Done Here.
Psychological Levon Kirkland by Mike109999 February 17, 2026
I Feel Heard
When you are in a conversation and all parties have exhausted their talking points and begin going in circles, an amicable end to the chat is put in place for sanity's sake, and to cordially move forward.
Yurk: Ok, just because YOU follow a loser franchise, your QB leads the league in Empty Calories, and you have Sports PTSD, doesn't mean MY team will also suck.
Brett: It does, I have seen this movie before.
Yurk: Ok, we have been at this for 10 minutes, I Feel Heard.
Brett: I Feel Heard too, let's go get some schwarma, brosef.
Brett: It does, I have seen this movie before.
Yurk: Ok, we have been at this for 10 minutes, I Feel Heard.
Brett: I Feel Heard too, let's go get some schwarma, brosef.
I Feel Heard by Mike109999 February 14, 2026
Emotional Terrorist
A person who deliberately causes emotional distress on someone close to them, like a childhood friend, coworker or sibling.
Like actual terrorism, there are varying degrees and frequencies of tactics, ranging from seemingly small to large outbursts and picking fights during momentous life moments.
Like actual terrorism, there are varying degrees and frequencies of tactics, ranging from seemingly small to large outbursts and picking fights during momentous life moments.
BS: *in baby voice* I don't think you should move away, there was a bear attack there once, and long drives are unhealthy, and...and... could we talk about this later, I have so many things to tell you why this is a terrible decision.
Brian: *with 15 open notebooks next to him* I am simply trying to move across State, I have a million things going, I really don't have time for your Emotional Colonic.
BS: Ok, I will set aside 9 hours to tell you why this is bad for me.
Brian: *mutters* Ugh, you are such an emotional terrorist. I need like a 10 hour White Collar Ginger.
Brian: *with 15 open notebooks next to him* I am simply trying to move across State, I have a million things going, I really don't have time for your Emotional Colonic.
BS: Ok, I will set aside 9 hours to tell you why this is bad for me.
Brian: *mutters* Ugh, you are such an emotional terrorist. I need like a 10 hour White Collar Ginger.
Emotional Terrorist by Mike109999 February 11, 2026
Fandom Friend Zone
It is similar to the White Collar Friend Zone in that you have emotionally gaslit yourself, but this time you have brought yourself to cope with your team’s lack of success through fabricated moral victories and self-fulfilling prophecies.
Coley: Guys, I don't really care my favourite hockey team since birth lost 2 straight cup finals, I really enjoyed the togetherness at the Molson Oilers Experience and being with friends to watch every game. It really IS about the journey, not the destination.
KB: Fuck Coley, you are in the Fandom Friend Zone, like the time you said you valued the unique stories of all the 18th century antiques you bought at garage sale when you were trying to sleep with that chick.
You should have sports PTSD from you AND your team not being able to put it home, **Foreskin Chuckle**.
Coley: Gosh, you may be right, but I really enjoyed the $26 Aeporol Spritz activation during the 2nd Round.
KB: Ok, We're Done Here.
KB: Fuck Coley, you are in the Fandom Friend Zone, like the time you said you valued the unique stories of all the 18th century antiques you bought at garage sale when you were trying to sleep with that chick.
You should have sports PTSD from you AND your team not being able to put it home, **Foreskin Chuckle**.
Coley: Gosh, you may be right, but I really enjoyed the $26 Aeporol Spritz activation during the 2nd Round.
KB: Ok, We're Done Here.
Fandom Friend Zone by Mike109999 November 12, 2025
White Collar Mulligan
Similar to an Emotional Mulligan, but at work, an emotional season ticket holder gives you a white collar chair shot, but they have so much equity built up, they are forgiven.
MA: Damn, I always felt like you were going to White Collar Major Applewhite me, but always thought you would tell me first.
NT: Ya, I am sorry Brosef, my boss is up my ass and I have to think of my family.
MA: I hear you fam, I saw this guy's Brofile, it is pretty stellar. You get a White Collar Mulligan.
NT: Ya, I am sorry Brosef, my boss is up my ass and I have to think of my family.
MA: I hear you fam, I saw this guy's Brofile, it is pretty stellar. You get a White Collar Mulligan.
White Collar Mulligan by Mike109999 September 25, 2025
Emotional Mulligan
When an emotional season ticket holder pisses you off, you immediately forgive them due to the emotional equity they have built up with you and how important they are to you.
BB: Man, I can't believe you dry snitched on me like that at your White Collar Sleepover 2 weeks ago.
TY: Sorry G, my mad.
BB: Ya, you get an emotional mulligan, we all make mistakes. You have been White Collar Shot Blocking for me for years. Let's go get some shawarma, on me.
TY: Sorry G, my mad.
BB: Ya, you get an emotional mulligan, we all make mistakes. You have been White Collar Shot Blocking for me for years. Let's go get some shawarma, on me.
Emotional Mulligan by Mike109999 September 23, 2025
Like A White Collar Hug
When you are trying to sell your business services, the feeling you try to convey so your prospect is comfortable working with you AND comfortable telling their bosses why they chose you over your competitors.
JB: You are perfect for them! Listen, show the owner you have worked with firms exactly like hers, with the exact same problems and timelines.
She would be in very good hands, and working with you will provide them with tons of White Collar Compound Interest.
Be Like A White Collar Hug for the business owner.
BK: Good idea, thanks. I was starting to think I would a need a White Collar Rally-Squatch to close this.
She would be in very good hands, and working with you will provide them with tons of White Collar Compound Interest.
Be Like A White Collar Hug for the business owner.
BK: Good idea, thanks. I was starting to think I would a need a White Collar Rally-Squatch to close this.
Like A White Collar Hug by Mike109999 September 22, 2025