Mike109999's definitions

85% Rule

Applies to sports bars that are always right near capacity, but you could always find a seat.

These unicorn bars are the best of both worlds for fans: A great atmosphere AND people know they could still get in without reservations.

Melissa: Where we watching the game tonight, Fam?

Jeff: Ugh, I totally forgot to make a reso, I have been busy all week.

Melissa: Ok, tip-off is in one hour, let's go to 99 Wings, they are an 85% Rule place.

Jeff: So good, and they have the best cajun rub wings.

by Mike109999 August 6, 2022

White Collar Erotic

When someone is SO hyper elite in business environments and meetings, people of ALL management levels and seniority are intrigued by and want to work with them.

Dan: Man, I love having meetings with Patrick, literally EVERYONE in the meeting listens to him and does exactly what he says. He could get anything he wants done.

BT: Oh ya, Patrick is SO White Collar Erotic.

by Mike109999 August 7, 2022

Steph Curry Syndrome

When your mom is infinitely hotter than your wife, and it causes a slow and silent, but intense, awkwardness within your family and for all involved.

John: Hey Mark, you want to invite Rich to go to Dockers with us for Breakfast, he could bring his wife and kids.

Mark: Nah, his parents are in town and he has serious Steph Curry Syndrome, so I try to stay away.

John: Oh right, right, man it was so awkward last Halloween when they both dressed as Spice Girls and everyone was hitting on his mom.

by Mike109999 June 12, 2019

That's a Hard Unsubscribe For Me

When you see something and instantly know you want to have nothing to do it. The figurative version of projectile vomiting on command.

Typically seen in pet peeve situations, or when someone in a group mentions they want to order Indian Food.

Keanen: Haha oh Fuck, look at Coach's presser, he was hamming it up today. Talking wrestling. He really keeps the boys loose, eh.

Demmers: Ugh, That's a Hard Unsubscribe For Me.

by Mike109999 February 16, 2022

Sports PTSD

When you have PTSD from a sporting event, play or team. It elicits the same anxiety, shortness of breath, nightmares, guilt, shame, and aggressive behaviour as traditional PTSD, and has the same traumatizing effect.

Dana: Hey Gurl, what are we going to get for our Super Bowl party, wings and pizza again?

Angie: Hey Gurl, I dont think we will make it this year, Brett's Sports PTSD is acting up again, he saw a highlight of the Hawks Patriots Super Bowl again. He hasnt left his room in 4 days.

Dana: Gurl, I hear you. Paul gets the same way when seeing the Joe Carter homerun. Let's just get sushi and update our Bumble accounts.

by Mike109999 September 6, 2022

Emotional Season Ticket Holder

Your tier 1 friends who are always there for you, and who emotionally attend every moment of your life, just like season ticket holders attend every game for their cherished sports team.

GS: Gurl, when are you going to announce your new job?

PT: Gotta tell my Emotional Season Ticket Holders first before we briefcase chuckle about moving to the cold. This good news is like a reward for all my Sports PTSD I put them through.

by Mike109999 September 22, 2025

He For Sure Smells Amazing

When someone keeps a big job predominantly for how they look and for the perception of it being a good fit, as opposed to *actually being good*, he HAS to do all the little aesthetic things to compensate for being terrible.

Yurk: Ugh, my team has had the same shitty GM for 7 years, and we suck so bad. Why haven't they fired him yet?

LD: Well, obviously White Collar Steroids, but mostly he LOOKS the part and probably works the boardroom.

Yukr: Ugh, Ya, he for sure smells amazing, too.

by Mike109999 March 4, 2022