Mike Oxhard's definitions

republican

The American political party that protects the interests of the very wealthy and corporations by lowering their tax and regulatory burden, and making it easier for businesses to get cheap labor and cheap natural resources both at home and abroad.

Since the natural constituency for this agenda is very small, the party panders to religious zealots, racists, and the marginally retarded. Fortunately for the Republicans, the issues that activate this base usually cost nothing and have almost no overlap with their actual economic agenda.

Among wealthy: We need a Republican congress to get rid of that dreadful inheritance tax.

Among stupid: It was the Republicans what said we gonna git a flag burning amendment.

by Mike Oxhard August 15, 2006

jingle fever

The attraction a woman feels to a man with a lot of money. (origin: relates to jingling sound of many coins in a pocket).

As soon as she saw his Maserati, she got jingle fever.

by Mike Oxhard July 10, 2006

white elephant

1. the obese white women preferred by African American males.

Brothers who date white chicks are usually just thinning the herd of white elephants.

by Mike Oxhard July 12, 2006

bunghole fever

An obsession to try anal sex.

Ever since he saw that porno, he's had bunghole fever.

by Mike Oxhard July 11, 2006

cubotomy

the destruction of portions of the brain by working in a cubicle.

For males, wearing a tie accelerates the process by cutting off oxygen to the brain.

Libido is also excised.

"He was such a fun guy in college--then he got a cubotomy."

by Mike Oxhard September 30, 2006

whegro

A white person who acts like a caricature of a ghetto black. Whegro is generally used by those uncomfortable saying whigger because it is derived from nigger. See also whafrican American

That whegro needs to pull up his pants and get a job.

by Mike Oxhard July 10, 2006

tie

1. a garment worn around the neck helpful in identifying workers who have been rendered eunuchs by their employers and/or someone who thinks looking important is more important than being comfortable enough to do actual work.

2. also helps dominatrixes identify potential clients who are passives.

(Origin: when slave-catchers would tie a rope around a slave's neck. Also, symbolizes iron collar and chain used to restrain slaves).

That poor dickless fuck has to wear a tie to work.

by Mike Oxhard July 13, 2006