17 definitions by LayItonYou
1) When another driver pulls in a spot closest to the door and you have been looking to find close parking for the last 5 minutes. You saw a keyless remote unlocking a car, the lights blinking and calling you! "OPEN OPEN OPEN"
You punched it around the opposing lane, so you could pull in at the proper angle, half crazed to get to it! And then some FUCK who JUST pulled into the lot, driving the wrong way, gets it by backing into YOUR spot just as you round the farthest edge of the corner!
2) When you follow someone for 5 minutes at a >1 MPH snails pace, Looking to get his parking space, you are happily lured along, like some 16 year old on his first bong hit, with the shiny keys to their car that are dangling from their hand and swinging around at you like a fuckin' hypnotist or some kind of Christmas present or something, in an ONE WAY underground covered parking lot - all the while the voice in your head is thinking "YEAH BABY! GOT A SPOT! I GOT A CLOSE SPOT!" - and the bastard suddenly looks confused and turns around and goes the other way while the car behind you has been flashing his lights at you for the last two minutes!
You punched it around the opposing lane, so you could pull in at the proper angle, half crazed to get to it! And then some FUCK who JUST pulled into the lot, driving the wrong way, gets it by backing into YOUR spot just as you round the farthest edge of the corner!
2) When you follow someone for 5 minutes at a >1 MPH snails pace, Looking to get his parking space, you are happily lured along, like some 16 year old on his first bong hit, with the shiny keys to their car that are dangling from their hand and swinging around at you like a fuckin' hypnotist or some kind of Christmas present or something, in an ONE WAY underground covered parking lot - all the while the voice in your head is thinking "YEAH BABY! GOT A SPOT! I GOT A CLOSE SPOT!" - and the bastard suddenly looks confused and turns around and goes the other way while the car behind you has been flashing his lights at you for the last two minutes!
1) OH NO! OH NO! NO YOU DID NOT! OH NO YOU DIDN'T! I did not just see some Asshole parking in MY SPOT!
2) CLICK! AIM! BANG!
2) CLICK! AIM! BANG!
by LayItonYou March 19, 2007
A person, usually on a CB Radio, who waits for the right time to insert a comment in someone elses conversation, thus changing the entire meaning of the sentence intent. This is done by a more powerful voice, signal, or a closer proximity to the hearer. Thus effectively filling the mouth and leaving embarassing virtual nut marks on the talker.
What was actually said "We went to play golf and on hole number seven I nailed the ball, I could hardly believe it! I really had to rub it in!"
What everyone else heard due to a slick Tea Bagger "We went to play golf and on hole number seven I 'shit my pants', I could hardly believe it! I really had to rub it in!"
What everyone else heard due to a slick Tea Bagger "We went to play golf and on hole number seven I 'shit my pants', I could hardly believe it! I really had to rub it in!"
by LayItonYou March 19, 2007
Something you can write on the bathroom wall at your local bar in the crapper for a qwik laugh.
"EAT THE CORN"
"EAT THE CORN"
by LayItonYou March 21, 2007
Real men eat pussy!
by LayItonYou March 21, 2007
1} A divorce terminology mostly used by an ex, or soon to be ex-wife. Refers to a little tiny small pile of "your shit." Usually clothes and/or pictures spread sporadically upon the front lawn or in a box of "your shit." In some cases it is found to be accompanied along some things you didn't think that you owned. FIRST would be Anal Lube with a little pretty bow on it. SECOND would be a small metal object, also with a cute little pretty bow on it, called a nail clipper. So that you won't scratch your ankles when you grab them to take it up the ass by her lawyer. And THIRD would be a key to a post office box set up in your name only, that when you check it, find it full of bills ... the kind that need to be paid ... not the ones with dead presidents on them.
2} What is left on the end of her lawyers schlong from you.
3} Something said when you find your key doesn't fit in the door anymore.
4} Also denoted in the song from Beyonce.
2} What is left on the end of her lawyers schlong from you.
3} Something said when you find your key doesn't fit in the door anymore.
4} Also denoted in the song from Beyonce.
1} Dear John ... here is your shit ... and, some gifts.
Love,
Jane Doe
2} You don't call me anymore :(
3} "YOU THINK THAT YOUR SHIT DOESN'T STINK?!"
4} To the left To the left To the left
To the left To the left To the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet that's my stuff - Yes
Love,
Jane Doe
2} You don't call me anymore :(
3} "YOU THINK THAT YOUR SHIT DOESN'T STINK?!"
4} To the left To the left To the left
To the left To the left To the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet that's my stuff - Yes
by LayItonYou March 20, 2007
A term used by CB'ers when another signal so solidly over powers the conversation already at hand so that the original conversation cannot be heard at all thus repesenting a virtual full cock in the mouth. Usually a funny thing is said or a slam.
What CB'er 1 said ... "and so I was walking the dog and when I came back home my wife was setting out key lime pie, and it was really good."
What CB'er 2 heard - ... "and so I was walking my dog and came back home and my wife was" 'GIVING ME A BLOW JOB' "and it was really good."
Thus producing the reply from CB'er 2 "Dude! You just got Tea Bagged!"
Followed by the Tea Bagger and everyone else on the channel laughing.
What CB'er 2 heard - ... "and so I was walking my dog and came back home and my wife was" 'GIVING ME A BLOW JOB' "and it was really good."
Thus producing the reply from CB'er 2 "Dude! You just got Tea Bagged!"
Followed by the Tea Bagger and everyone else on the channel laughing.
by LayItonYou March 19, 2007
:) WOW! Everything is so smooth around here today! I wonder why?
:( Oh yeah!
There's a bowl of assholes upstairs today so now everyone can do their job.
:( Oh yeah!
There's a bowl of assholes upstairs today so now everyone can do their job.
by LayItonYou March 19, 2007