13 definitions by Jumpingrat

beef curtains

Large labial lips. May hang down like two flesh curtains, hence the "beef" part. Usually pretty dryed up and very nasty.

At the beach there was no hiding Mary's beef curtains, as they hung out the sides

by Jumpingrat December 6, 2006

Blowout

An uncontrolled, poorly contained and always catastrophic bowel movement. Usually the chuncky runs. So bad that even heavy pants can't hide the mess. Food poisoning or a very disagreeable meal are two main culprits for a blowout.

In line at the McDonalds:
Joe: "Oh Jesus, Oh..."
Mike: "What? What's wrong?"
Joe: "That toddler in front of us."
Mike: "Toddler? Oh my, fuck .. Oh the smell."
Joe: "Hey lady! Your little crotch dropping seems to have had a blowout."

by Jumpingrat August 25, 2006

fuck a dead duck

An expression one uses when caught totaly by surprise. Or when something improbable happens.

Boss: "The customer just called me and said that their order was right on the count, good job."
Packer: "Well I'll fuck a dead duck!"

by Jumpingrat January 23, 2007

baby's arm clutching a plum

A very large penis. About equivilent in size to a baby's arm, the the head being the size and general color of a plum.

Mary: Did you see the size of that thing?
Jane: Oh my...It was...
Mary: As big as a baby's arm clutching a plum.
Jane: Yes, Yes it was.

by Jumpingrat November 5, 2006

Jesus nut

Anything that holds together a critical assembly, such as a main roter on a helicopter. If the nut, bolt ect. in question fails then the equipment will catastrophically fail and everyone in/around it will be on their way to see Jesus.

"Tighten that damn Jesus nut down good cause I ain't in the mood to see him today".

by Jumpingrat July 2, 2006

who pissed in your coffee

When someone is in a particularly foul mood first thing in the morning. Many people will have a cup of coffee before anything else is taken care of. Therefore their coffee must have been pissed in to start their day off so badly.

Joe: "Hi Jack! Wonderful day isn't it?"
Jack: "Ah fuck yourself you fucking fuck!"
Joe: "Well who pissed in your coffee this morning asshole!"

by Jumpingrat March 25, 2007

A clear bag of smashed assholes

Very bad, Very foul. Something that one would generally not wish to see. What's worse than A bag of smashed assholes? A clear bag of them. To increase the level of effect a weight is sometimes given, such as 5 Lb. bag or 10 Lb. bag.

Usually used to describe how one feels. Particularly after a night of drunken debauchery.

"Did you guys see Joe come into work this morning? He looked like a clear bag of smashed assholes".

by Jumpingrat July 3, 2006