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Definitions by Johntoo

Auto-flapper 

A woman who unknowingly gets her dress caught in the car door and proceeds on – her garment flapping in the wind.
“Hey, check-out the auto-flapper in the car beside us. I wonder if we should honk and point.”
Auto-flapper by Johntoo September 5, 2009

Double-click Misfire 

This phenomena occurs frequently with Windows users, where when double-clicking on a file in which to open, the click is not fast enough, causing the file to be highlighted rather than opened. This usually causes the user to have to resort to using the “Enter” key instead.

This occurrence can cause low self-esteem particularly in older people as it draws into question the performance of their motor skills, leading to thoughts that maybe they are showing signs of early stages of Alzheimer’s or other neurological disorders (which is usually not the case).
“I saw a neurologist today on account of my increasing number of ‘double-click misfires’. He assured me that nothing was wrong with my motor skills and suggested I simply adjust my mouse settings.”
Double-click Misfire by Johntoo August 22, 2009

Blubber-Vision 

This is what many overweight people have when they criticize or point out the thinness of people who are actually at a healthy weight level. The majority of thin criticism comes from overweights who suffer from “Blubber-Vision”. This is especially acute when the overweight person has recently gained and subconsciously justifies it by looking down on people with healthy weight -- viewing others' body mass through the lenses of their own obesity.
My Aunt Sally suffers from Blubber-Vision. She is always saying how thin and unhealthy I look, even though she weighs 300 lbs.
Blubber-Vision by Johntoo August 22, 2009

Smoke-Righteous 

A person who is so angry with smokers and their habit, that they regularly confront smokers in a rude way.
The man came over to me in the bar and pointing his finger at me, told me to put out my cigarette. He could have asked nicely, but he was too “smoke-righteous”.
Smoke-Righteous by Johntoo August 22, 2009

Freak-o-na 

Dude... you're such a freak-o-na! Why were you acting so crazy last night in front of the neighbors?
Freak-o-na by Johntoo August 19, 2009
A word that never should have been invented in the first place.
Man, that's "phat"!
Phat by Johntoo August 19, 2009

Flying Bowel Movements 

A flock of "Flying Bowel Movements" landed on my balcony yesterday, forcing me to do a clean-up job before my friends came by.
Flying Bowel Movements by Johntoo August 19, 2009