JaneGordon.com's definitions

Often-Wrong: Never-in-Doubt

When someone is sure of their opinion, but unopen to facts, truth, and light entering their mind, heart, and soul.

Patty complained that I like to check facts, but she prefers to trust her instincts. She is often-wrong: never-in-doubt.

by JaneGordon.com March 8, 2023

Swear on Your Orgasm

To learn if someone is lying or telling the truth, lead them down a verbal path ending in asking them to swear on their future orgasms, because no one will risk that if they are lying!

It works like this... instruct the person saying "Repeat after me" then have them repeat phrase by phrase...you say:
"I Swear"
(They repeat)
"I am telling the truth that (fill in the blank)"
(They repeat)
"and if I did not (fill in the blank)"
(They repeat)
"I will never"
(They repeat)
"have another"
(They repeat)
"orgasm in my life"
First, they are going to laugh. If they are lying, they will never never never repeat that last phrase. If they are telling the truth they do!

When John finally told me he loved me, I walked him through the swear.... he said it!

I squealed "OMG John, if you're willing to swear on your orgasm, it must be really true! And I love love love you, too."

by JaneGordon.com March 10, 2023

PBF (Pretend Boyfriend)

PBF aka Pretend Boyfriend is a convenient imaginary boyfriend who often comes in handy in many ways, such as excuse to get out of doing something, turning down a date, etc.

Occasionally Bill and I break up but it never lasts more than a few days and I know we'll be back together. So although technically we are broken up, dating anyone else feels like cheating. But Bill has to know what he's risking and that he might really lose me. That's where Carlo, my PBF (Pretend Boyfriend) comes in very handy...Bill does not not not like that Carlo is in my life!

by JaneGordon.com March 20, 2023

Love-Haze

Love-Haze: When everything you see about and in a person is filtered through, and seen only through your heart and love. How they look, who they are... everything is beautiful.

Everything about John is beautiful to me... even his round belly... but I know I'm seeing him through a love-haze, so helping him eat heathier so he can lose weight. I will miss that cute belly!

by JaneGordon.com March 28, 2023

Zoom-Ready

When your hair, clothing, jewelry, and make-up are pulled together enough that you can get onto a video call without embarrassing yourself and/or scaring everyone else. This is especially important/ challenging when working alone at home.

Thank goodness I had an hour warning before the meeting to get myself presentable and Zoom-ready. I put in my contacts, fixed hair and make-up, put on my cov-earrings - - but true confession: I was still in my pandemic-pants!

by JaneGordon.com May 19, 2020

Smile-it-Forward

When you try to make random people laugh and smile because it will release endorphins, and you know they will be kinder to the next person, and they to the next, and they also, and so on and so forth. One silliness makes a better world.

Jane loves to be constantly silly and make people laugh, even if they are laughing at her, because she loves to smile-it-forward.

by JaneGordon.com March 5, 2023

John-Jerk

When someone is just being irrationally stubborn for no reason, but they are still adorably lovable.

John was being a John-jerk and insisting he was right (he wasn't), but I just love him too much to take the bait and fight, so I am happy to be the blame-eater.

by JaneGordon.com April 4, 2023