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JambaJews's definitions

Office Mattress

The person in the office that everybody sleeps with (or on).
It’s not a surprise to me. Pam -is- the office mattress.
by JambaJews December 23, 2008
mugGet the Office Mattressmug.

TMI

Contrary to popular belief, this stands for Too Much Information, but the meaning is not the same. It actually means 'I cannot handle what you just told me, and it took me off guard, because I am too {prude/insecure/jealous/lame/dumb/close-minded} to be ok with you saying it.' There are actual instances of TMI that occur, but this definition rarely lies in the eye of the beholder, because usually that person just 'Can't handle the truth!!'
Guy 1: I slept with Chick 2 the other night.
Chick 1: OMG TMI!! I can't believe you told me that.
Guy 1: That's not TMI...you're just jealous or surprised because you didn't think I could score with Chick 2.
Chick 1: Nu uh, you just shouldn't share things like that.
Guy 1: You just told me you slept with Guy 2 the other day.
Chick 1: ...that's different...cause....
Guy 1: Case in point.
by JambaJews November 27, 2009
mugGet the TMImug.

/rant

A nerd way of succinctly ending a rant typically on an internet blog or message board. By invoking a semblance of programming code, the nerd hopes to appease fellow nerds with a chuckle, while also disarming readers with a framing device to lesson the impact of their prior inflammatory words.
..so that's why george lucas having kids ruined the entire star wars franchise for the rest of us. /rant.
by JambaJews January 11, 2009
mugGet the /rantmug.

Club Safeway

The Safeway supermarket on Market & Church streets in San Francisco, near the Castro district. The food shopping venue of choice for many fashionable young men. Bring your best threads and cutest French Bulldog!
Broseph: Dude I was at Club Safeway just trying to shop when I got the hairy eyeball from all these guys!
Brohammed: What section were you in?
Broseph: Produce, I was buying bananas
Brohammed: Well no wonder! At least you weren't peeling cucumbers!
by JambaJews December 29, 2009
mugGet the Club Safewaymug.

COT

Champagne on Tits. To uncork any kind of champagne, preferrably in a jacuzzi or hotel room, and pour liberally over a pair of exposed tits (or several pairs). Shaking the contents slightly is encouraged, but not so much as to emulate the Yankees' post-World Series locker room celebration.
Bert: So how was your Vegas trip?
Dert: Awesome broseph, we totally had COT!
Bert: COT party? No way, how did you convince them?
Dert: We told them the champagne was too cheap to drink, but that we didn't want to waste it.
by JambaJews December 26, 2009
mugGet the COTmug.

Wheagle

Male chest hair that resembles both a whale tail and an eagle.
Avery: Hey check out Derek's chestal hair...it looks like a whale tail!
Brian: No way, it looks like an eagle!
Derek: Actually, you are both wrong. I am the wheagle.
by JambaJews February 6, 2010
mugGet the Wheaglemug.

Seduce-a-tron 3000

What a man must become when he does not show confidence or resolve in chasing a girl he is interested in.
Matt: Dah I kinda like this girl, but I haven't done anything with her yet.
Avery: Why not?
Matt: I dunno...I'm kinda scared I guess.
Avery: It's time for you to step up to the plate, and become....Seduce-a-tron 3000!
by JambaJews February 6, 2010
mugGet the Seduce-a-tron 3000mug.

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