HMB's definitions

Predator's face

(noun) Euphemism for a somewhat intimidating looking vagina, especially one with curved pedipalpical hook-shaped teeth and an Ozzy Osborne hairstyle. Not usually considered an aphrodisiac.

"I heard that the Governor of California only got his job because of his onscreen performance in giving the Predator's face a good licking."

by HMB November 23, 2003

Washington Times

A daily newspaper, founded in 1982, and funded by the Unification Church and Reverend Sun Myun Moon. Although begun as a conservative counterweight to Communism, the newspaper has gradually won respect for its journalism. Today, it is held in high esteem for its Metropolitan pages and its non-ideological foreign news pages, although the editorial coverage still retains a firmly conservative viewpoint.

Ever since HMB went to work at the Washington Times, his contributions at urbandictionary have tapered off into nothingness. One can only hope that his literary output is being put to equally creative uses.

by HMB March 6, 2004

ladywood

1. (horticultural) A perennial bud found in moist valleys, amidst ferns, and which like to nestle up against redwoods.
2. (anatomical) A perineal bud found in moist valleys, amidst pubes, and which like to be jostled by redwoods. A clit.

1. and 2. "For Valentine's Day, do something special. Give her LADYWOOD."
~ failed marketing ploys of HM&B corporation.

(First heard in NBC's Will & Grace)

by HMB February 10, 2004

NMD

1. National Missile Defence. A controversial plan to set up a series of interceptor systems to destroy incoming nuclear warheads and render an entire nation safe from missile attack.

2. A virulent curse in Mandarin Chinese, as coined by late Qing Dynasty and early Republic of China writer Lü Xun, who defined the "national curseword" of the Chinese people as "ni ma de", or literally "your mother's ...". Lü Xun never specified what possession or part of the mother is meant, but one can presume it is obscene.

Compare this with TMD and WMD.

1. President Bush: "We intend to ignore Chinese governmental protests, and to go ahead with plans to install a working NMD."

2. President Jiang Zemin: "Well, in that case all I have to say is 'NMD'. And now I'm going to play the piano."

by HMB March 12, 2004

osimosity

(Noun) The state or condition of being awesome. Defined in a bogus mathematical theorem as:

Quality + Perception
-------------------- = Osimosity
Vulgar popularity

Not to be confused with animosity, or pretentiosity.

1. Lord Ossum of the Ossumites was an Ozymandian well known for his osimosity.

2.
Freddie:
I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me...

Chorus:
HE'S-JUST-A-POOR-BOY/
NAMED-FREDDIE-MERCURY/
BOW-GASP-AND-QUAIL/
AT-HIS-OSIMOSITY!

by HMB August 2, 2004

blue ball

1. A ball that is blue.
2. A testicle or testicles that are blue.
3. A testicle or testicles that have not been used for a long time and therefore, in male mythological perception, are blue in color. This is merely metaphorical as the only way that testicles can turn blue are A) through the application of ink or paint, as in the scrotal tattooes of the old wrinkled retainers of the WangaWonkee tribes of the lower Balkans, or B) through constriction, as in preparation for castration (to prevent urination, which may infect the wound before it heals adequately).

My girlfriend wouldn:t screw me/do me/tattoo me so I went to bed with blue balls.

by HMB April 27, 2003

SMVC

Shoulder Mounted Video Camera: (noun) The weapon of choice for today's journalist in use in self defence, when they find themselves embedded with American soldiers abroad in some festering petrochemical shithole of a desert nation fighting a war that they don't want and can't win, wearing a distinctinve "Shoot me please!" Army uniform.

Soldier: Dude, you are so dead when we move out to Ramallah. I hear them Eye-rackies out there got RPGs up the wazoo.

NBC reporter: Aha! Well that's where you're wrong my friend. I have an SMVC! FEAR MY VIDEO CAMERA.

Soldier: Christ.

by HMB November 18, 2003