HMB's definitions
The state or act of being pretentious - affecting an air of superiority or culture where none truly exists.
"The latest discovery of Jane Austen's unprinted masterpiece, 'Pointlessness and Pretentiosity', brings together the dramatic cycle with a fitting juxtaposition of anagnorisis and perepetaea, providing the quintessential climax and denouement if you will, to a genre that is already fucking full of shit to be honest."
Siskel and Ebert, "Two-Birdies-Up Film Reviews"
Siskel and Ebert, "Two-Birdies-Up Film Reviews"
by HMB March 27, 2003
Get the pretentiositymug. 1. (noun, botanical) A growth process whereby a plant sheath or stem segment grows back on itself, essentially turning itself inside out.
2. (noun, CIA/FBI/NSA) An interrogation process whereby a suspect is bent back on himself or herself, essentially turning them inside out.
3. (noun) An intercourse process whereby a body part or prop (e.g., vibrator, cell phone, TV remote, etc) is placed into the vagina.
4. (cartographical) On Olde Worlde Mappes by Iohn Speede, c. 1626, this term meant "having taken one's leave to abscond to Amazonia". Literally "within a country of vaginas".
2. (noun, CIA/FBI/NSA) An interrogation process whereby a suspect is bent back on himself or herself, essentially turning them inside out.
3. (noun) An intercourse process whereby a body part or prop (e.g., vibrator, cell phone, TV remote, etc) is placed into the vagina.
4. (cartographical) On Olde Worlde Mappes by Iohn Speede, c. 1626, this term meant "having taken one's leave to abscond to Amazonia". Literally "within a country of vaginas".
1. David Attenborough: "But once the fly trap is fed a piece of meat, time-lapse photography demonstrates a dramatic change in growth. By the third invagination, the Venus fly trap has already offered up two new leaves."
2. John Ashcroft: "But once the Eye-rackie is tied to the rack, time-lapse photography demonstrates a dramatic change in growth. By the third invagination, the Taliban suspect has already offered up three new accomplices. Even better, by the fourth invagination, he was no longer able to speak or make any noise at all. A good day's work for the NSA."
3. HMB: "Dude, your aunt is really starting to freak me out. Last time we made out, she suggested invagination, and I agreed. But she made me wrap a brick in cellophane and stick it up her pussy. You don't pay me enough for this sort of crap. I'm going back to Taco Bell."
4. When the American troops arrived in Hanoi to reinforce the ARVN troops there, they quickly learned the skills to stay alive, including camouflage, mine detection, and most importantly, avoiding the major fighting from the vantage point of an observatory invagination - often in groups.
2. John Ashcroft: "But once the Eye-rackie is tied to the rack, time-lapse photography demonstrates a dramatic change in growth. By the third invagination, the Taliban suspect has already offered up three new accomplices. Even better, by the fourth invagination, he was no longer able to speak or make any noise at all. A good day's work for the NSA."
3. HMB: "Dude, your aunt is really starting to freak me out. Last time we made out, she suggested invagination, and I agreed. But she made me wrap a brick in cellophane and stick it up her pussy. You don't pay me enough for this sort of crap. I'm going back to Taco Bell."
4. When the American troops arrived in Hanoi to reinforce the ARVN troops there, they quickly learned the skills to stay alive, including camouflage, mine detection, and most importantly, avoiding the major fighting from the vantage point of an observatory invagination - often in groups.
by HMB February 8, 2004
Get the invaginationmug. 1. A biological process by which information is passively absorbed, in a matter similar to osmosis, from episodes on TV or radio. Usually happens when you are focussing on doing something else while somebody in the same room is viewing or listening to the media. This can lead to false associations.
2. A sociological process whereby knowledge or behavior is transferred through occurrences that are regular and can be tracked over time. This can include: routine noisy arguments from the family living across the street, shouted tactical instructions from the beergut living next door each time there's an American football game on TV, and finding out that the various counts of first-degree homicide and cannibalism that your janitor stands accused of in routine police raids on his utility room.
2. A sociological process whereby knowledge or behavior is transferred through occurrences that are regular and can be tracked over time. This can include: routine noisy arguments from the family living across the street, shouted tactical instructions from the beergut living next door each time there's an American football game on TV, and finding out that the various counts of first-degree homicide and cannibalism that your janitor stands accused of in routine police raids on his utility room.
1.
Fnor: Do you watch Scrubs, HMB?
HMB: Not really. I've followed some of the plot through epismosis, but usually while downloading Sylvia Saint multimedia. Wasn't there one time that Zach Braff rides the Sybian?
Fnor: No.
2. Hague inspector: We deduce the victim to have expired after involuntary respiratory constriction at about 4 a.m. last night. We suspect epismosis of the General Secretary's late-night physical trysts with his administrative assistant in a nearby office may have caused a displacement of the victim's sexual energy as he slept, resulting in a lung erection that would prove fatal. However, investigators have not ruled out the possibility of poisoning. (Lead Inspector Franconi's confidential report following the death of former Serbian leader Slobodan Milosevich.)
Fnor: Do you watch Scrubs, HMB?
HMB: Not really. I've followed some of the plot through epismosis, but usually while downloading Sylvia Saint multimedia. Wasn't there one time that Zach Braff rides the Sybian?
Fnor: No.
2. Hague inspector: We deduce the victim to have expired after involuntary respiratory constriction at about 4 a.m. last night. We suspect epismosis of the General Secretary's late-night physical trysts with his administrative assistant in a nearby office may have caused a displacement of the victim's sexual energy as he slept, resulting in a lung erection that would prove fatal. However, investigators have not ruled out the possibility of poisoning. (Lead Inspector Franconi's confidential report following the death of former Serbian leader Slobodan Milosevich.)
by HMB May 18, 2006
Get the epismosismug. 1. A ball that is blue.
2. A testicle or testicles that are blue.
3. A testicle or testicles that have not been used for a long time and therefore, in male mythological perception, are blue in color. This is merely metaphorical as the only way that testicles can turn blue are A) through the application of ink or paint, as in the scrotal tattooes of the old wrinkled retainers of the WangaWonkee tribes of the lower Balkans, or B) through constriction, as in preparation for castration (to prevent urination, which may infect the wound before it heals adequately).
2. A testicle or testicles that are blue.
3. A testicle or testicles that have not been used for a long time and therefore, in male mythological perception, are blue in color. This is merely metaphorical as the only way that testicles can turn blue are A) through the application of ink or paint, as in the scrotal tattooes of the old wrinkled retainers of the WangaWonkee tribes of the lower Balkans, or B) through constriction, as in preparation for castration (to prevent urination, which may infect the wound before it heals adequately).
by HMB April 27, 2003
Get the blue ballmug. Any given place where more than one badass can reliably be found. In modern times, this may mean a certain night club, a certain seedy bar, or even any given trailer park - depending on the inhabitants.
Historically, this was named after the Badasserarium in Brundisium, a temple erected by Emperor Nero in the year 55. The original Badasserarium honored the final, most badass professional fighters left standing after the Great Gladiatorial Gangbang in July of that year. The survivors of a massive day-long free-for-all initiated with 900 heavily armed and alcoholically lubricated gladiators, these handful were granted the honorific Badassissimus, indicating status of an ass far worse than any other precursors in the field of badassery. Enshrined during their lifetimes as living saints of the Badasserarium, such was their fame that even respectable matrons and virgin girls of Brundisium would pay good money to spend fifteen seconds with any one of them, who would bestow his virility and virtue upon them with a Falcon Punch to the abdomen, leaving them unable to walk - sometimes permanently.
Upon being asked by Nero whether this was absolutely necessary, the Badassissimus responded by roaring incoherently and kicking a watermelon hard enough to orbit the known world twice and decapitate a nearby catamite the following Thursday. Suetonius translates this to mean: "Yes, I am afraid it is."
Historically, this was named after the Badasserarium in Brundisium, a temple erected by Emperor Nero in the year 55. The original Badasserarium honored the final, most badass professional fighters left standing after the Great Gladiatorial Gangbang in July of that year. The survivors of a massive day-long free-for-all initiated with 900 heavily armed and alcoholically lubricated gladiators, these handful were granted the honorific Badassissimus, indicating status of an ass far worse than any other precursors in the field of badassery. Enshrined during their lifetimes as living saints of the Badasserarium, such was their fame that even respectable matrons and virgin girls of Brundisium would pay good money to spend fifteen seconds with any one of them, who would bestow his virility and virtue upon them with a Falcon Punch to the abdomen, leaving them unable to walk - sometimes permanently.
Upon being asked by Nero whether this was absolutely necessary, the Badassissimus responded by roaring incoherently and kicking a watermelon hard enough to orbit the known world twice and decapitate a nearby catamite the following Thursday. Suetonius translates this to mean: "Yes, I am afraid it is."
"This San Francisco restaurant once served lunch to Bruce Lee, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and Chuck Norris at the same sitting. For the brief duration of that lunch, decades ago, this restaurant was a badasserarium."
"The Badassissimus of the Badasserarium was a badass well known for his consummate badassery."
"The Badassissimus of the Badasserarium was a badass well known for his consummate badassery."
by HMB May 2, 2010
Get the badasserariummug. 1. A flag that stands for freedom.
2. "Le Tricolore" - The flag of France (in the present anti-French climate). This strikes me as being hilariously amusing because the entire reason why the Congress renamed French fries in the first place was to show that France did not support military action for freedom. The ironic juxtaposition inherent in the subtextual deconstructuralist narrative frame of this dialogical reificate is so funny that it makes me want to shit my pants, wipe it on the windows, and then run naked through Congress with my hands in the air gibbering like a lunatic.
2. "Le Tricolore" - The flag of France (in the present anti-French climate). This strikes me as being hilariously amusing because the entire reason why the Congress renamed French fries in the first place was to show that France did not support military action for freedom. The ironic juxtaposition inherent in the subtextual deconstructuralist narrative frame of this dialogical reificate is so funny that it makes me want to shit my pants, wipe it on the windows, and then run naked through Congress with my hands in the air gibbering like a lunatic.
1. Dude, the American flag is the only freedom flag in the world because everybody knows that America is the only free country in the world.
2. What flag do the French have then?
1. Shit.
2. What flag do the French have then?
1. Shit.
by HMB May 11, 2003
Get the freedom flagmug. (noun) Euphemism for a somewhat intimidating looking vagina, especially one with curved pedipalpical hook-shaped teeth and an Ozzy Osborne hairstyle. Not usually considered an aphrodisiac.
"I heard that the Governor of California only got his job because of his onscreen performance in giving the Predator's face a good licking."
by HMB November 23, 2003
Get the Predator's facemug.