HMB's definitions
1. (noun, botanical) A growth process whereby a plant sheath or stem segment grows back on itself, essentially turning itself inside out.
2. (noun, CIA/FBI/NSA) An interrogation process whereby a suspect is bent back on himself or herself, essentially turning them inside out.
3. (noun) An intercourse process whereby a body part or prop (e.g., vibrator, cell phone, TV remote, etc) is placed into the vagina.
4. (cartographical) On Olde Worlde Mappes by Iohn Speede, c. 1626, this term meant "having taken one's leave to abscond to Amazonia". Literally "within a country of vaginas".
2. (noun, CIA/FBI/NSA) An interrogation process whereby a suspect is bent back on himself or herself, essentially turning them inside out.
3. (noun) An intercourse process whereby a body part or prop (e.g., vibrator, cell phone, TV remote, etc) is placed into the vagina.
4. (cartographical) On Olde Worlde Mappes by Iohn Speede, c. 1626, this term meant "having taken one's leave to abscond to Amazonia". Literally "within a country of vaginas".
1. David Attenborough: "But once the fly trap is fed a piece of meat, time-lapse photography demonstrates a dramatic change in growth. By the third invagination, the Venus fly trap has already offered up two new leaves."
2. John Ashcroft: "But once the Eye-rackie is tied to the rack, time-lapse photography demonstrates a dramatic change in growth. By the third invagination, the Taliban suspect has already offered up three new accomplices. Even better, by the fourth invagination, he was no longer able to speak or make any noise at all. A good day's work for the NSA."
3. HMB: "Dude, your aunt is really starting to freak me out. Last time we made out, she suggested invagination, and I agreed. But she made me wrap a brick in cellophane and stick it up her pussy. You don't pay me enough for this sort of crap. I'm going back to Taco Bell."
4. When the American troops arrived in Hanoi to reinforce the ARVN troops there, they quickly learned the skills to stay alive, including camouflage, mine detection, and most importantly, avoiding the major fighting from the vantage point of an observatory invagination - often in groups.
2. John Ashcroft: "But once the Eye-rackie is tied to the rack, time-lapse photography demonstrates a dramatic change in growth. By the third invagination, the Taliban suspect has already offered up three new accomplices. Even better, by the fourth invagination, he was no longer able to speak or make any noise at all. A good day's work for the NSA."
3. HMB: "Dude, your aunt is really starting to freak me out. Last time we made out, she suggested invagination, and I agreed. But she made me wrap a brick in cellophane and stick it up her pussy. You don't pay me enough for this sort of crap. I'm going back to Taco Bell."
4. When the American troops arrived in Hanoi to reinforce the ARVN troops there, they quickly learned the skills to stay alive, including camouflage, mine detection, and most importantly, avoiding the major fighting from the vantage point of an observatory invagination - often in groups.
by HMB February 8, 2004
Get the invagination mug.Any given place where more than one badass can reliably be found. In modern times, this may mean a certain night club, a certain seedy bar, or even any given trailer park - depending on the inhabitants.
Historically, this was named after the Badasserarium in Brundisium, a temple erected by Emperor Nero in the year 55. The original Badasserarium honored the final, most badass professional fighters left standing after the Great Gladiatorial Gangbang in July of that year. The survivors of a massive day-long free-for-all initiated with 900 heavily armed and alcoholically lubricated gladiators, these handful were granted the honorific Badassissimus, indicating status of an ass far worse than any other precursors in the field of badassery. Enshrined during their lifetimes as living saints of the Badasserarium, such was their fame that even respectable matrons and virgin girls of Brundisium would pay good money to spend fifteen seconds with any one of them, who would bestow his virility and virtue upon them with a Falcon Punch to the abdomen, leaving them unable to walk - sometimes permanently.
Upon being asked by Nero whether this was absolutely necessary, the Badassissimus responded by roaring incoherently and kicking a watermelon hard enough to orbit the known world twice and decapitate a nearby catamite the following Thursday. Suetonius translates this to mean: "Yes, I am afraid it is."
Historically, this was named after the Badasserarium in Brundisium, a temple erected by Emperor Nero in the year 55. The original Badasserarium honored the final, most badass professional fighters left standing after the Great Gladiatorial Gangbang in July of that year. The survivors of a massive day-long free-for-all initiated with 900 heavily armed and alcoholically lubricated gladiators, these handful were granted the honorific Badassissimus, indicating status of an ass far worse than any other precursors in the field of badassery. Enshrined during their lifetimes as living saints of the Badasserarium, such was their fame that even respectable matrons and virgin girls of Brundisium would pay good money to spend fifteen seconds with any one of them, who would bestow his virility and virtue upon them with a Falcon Punch to the abdomen, leaving them unable to walk - sometimes permanently.
Upon being asked by Nero whether this was absolutely necessary, the Badassissimus responded by roaring incoherently and kicking a watermelon hard enough to orbit the known world twice and decapitate a nearby catamite the following Thursday. Suetonius translates this to mean: "Yes, I am afraid it is."
"This San Francisco restaurant once served lunch to Bruce Lee, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and Chuck Norris at the same sitting. For the brief duration of that lunch, decades ago, this restaurant was a badasserarium."
"The Badassissimus of the Badasserarium was a badass well known for his consummate badassery."
"The Badassissimus of the Badasserarium was a badass well known for his consummate badassery."
by HMB May 2, 2010
Get the badasserarium mug.1. A ball that is blue.
2. A testicle or testicles that are blue.
3. A testicle or testicles that have not been used for a long time and therefore, in male mythological perception, are blue in color. This is merely metaphorical as the only way that testicles can turn blue are A) through the application of ink or paint, as in the scrotal tattooes of the old wrinkled retainers of the WangaWonkee tribes of the lower Balkans, or B) through constriction, as in preparation for castration (to prevent urination, which may infect the wound before it heals adequately).
2. A testicle or testicles that are blue.
3. A testicle or testicles that have not been used for a long time and therefore, in male mythological perception, are blue in color. This is merely metaphorical as the only way that testicles can turn blue are A) through the application of ink or paint, as in the scrotal tattooes of the old wrinkled retainers of the WangaWonkee tribes of the lower Balkans, or B) through constriction, as in preparation for castration (to prevent urination, which may infect the wound before it heals adequately).
by HMB April 27, 2003
Get the blue ball mug.A daily newspaper, founded in 1982, and funded by the Unification Church and Reverend Sun Myun Moon. Although begun as a conservative counterweight to Communism, the newspaper has gradually won respect for its journalism. Today, it is held in high esteem for its Metropolitan pages and its non-ideological foreign news pages, although the editorial coverage still retains a firmly conservative viewpoint.
Ever since HMB went to work at the Washington Times, his contributions at urbandictionary have tapered off into nothingness. One can only hope that his literary output is being put to equally creative uses.
by HMB March 6, 2004
Get the Washington Times mug.1. (horticultural) A perennial bud found in moist valleys, amidst ferns, and which like to nestle up against redwoods.
2. (anatomical) A perineal bud found in moist valleys, amidst pubes, and which like to be jostled by redwoods. A clit.
2. (anatomical) A perineal bud found in moist valleys, amidst pubes, and which like to be jostled by redwoods. A clit.
1. and 2. "For Valentine's Day, do something special. Give her LADYWOOD."
~ failed marketing ploys of HM&B corporation.
(First heard in NBC's Will & Grace)
~ failed marketing ploys of HM&B corporation.
(First heard in NBC's Will & Grace)
by HMB February 10, 2004
Get the ladywood mug.1. Shorthand for "Hamburger" in Brazilian outlets of clown subsidized fast food McByproduct joints.
2. Human growth hormone, popular with East German women's swimming teams.
3. Her Majesty's Bulldog. Euphemism for an untidy vagina and pubic area on an otherwise posh female specimen.
2. Human growth hormone, popular with East German women's swimming teams.
3. Her Majesty's Bulldog. Euphemism for an untidy vagina and pubic area on an otherwise posh female specimen.
by HMB March 27, 2003
Get the HMB mug.Shorthand for "Hitler's moustache". This describes a woman's pubic hair when she has shaved almost all of it off, leaving only a thin strip of hair covering her vulva.
So named for its similarity to Adolf Hitler's moustache, which was threefold:
a) It was also narrow and dark.
b) It also "lay above the lips".
c) It can move hypnotically, with a strange effect on the weak-minded.
So named for its similarity to Adolf Hitler's moustache, which was threefold:
a) It was also narrow and dark.
b) It also "lay above the lips".
c) It can move hypnotically, with a strange effect on the weak-minded.
I asked my first girlfriend if she would shave her beaver, and it turns out she was a member of PETA so I ended up getting slapped.
Then I asked my second girlfriend if she would shave her Map of Tasmania, and it turns out she was an Australian Aborigine so she cut me with a flint-knapped knife.
Last night I asked my third girlfriend to shave her Hitler tash, and she looked at me and said "I'm Jewish".
If the Mossad come looking for me, I'm not at home, okay?
Then I asked my second girlfriend if she would shave her Map of Tasmania, and it turns out she was an Australian Aborigine so she cut me with a flint-knapped knife.
Last night I asked my third girlfriend to shave her Hitler tash, and she looked at me and said "I'm Jewish".
If the Mossad come looking for me, I'm not at home, okay?
by HMB December 28, 2008
Get the Hitler tash mug.