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HMB's definitions

Washington Times

A daily newspaper, founded in 1982, and funded by the Unification Church and Reverend Sun Myun Moon. Although begun as a conservative counterweight to Communism, the newspaper has gradually won respect for its journalism. Today, it is held in high esteem for its Metropolitan pages and its non-ideological foreign news pages, although the editorial coverage still retains a firmly conservative viewpoint.
Ever since HMB went to work at the Washington Times, his contributions at urbandictionary have tapered off into nothingness. One can only hope that his literary output is being put to equally creative uses.
by HMB March 6, 2004
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invagination

1. (noun, botanical) A growth process whereby a plant sheath or stem segment grows back on itself, essentially turning itself inside out.

2. (noun, CIA/FBI/NSA) An interrogation process whereby a suspect is bent back on himself or herself, essentially turning them inside out.

3. (noun) An intercourse process whereby a body part or prop (e.g., vibrator, cell phone, TV remote, etc) is placed into the vagina.

4. (cartographical) On Olde Worlde Mappes by Iohn Speede, c. 1626, this term meant "having taken one's leave to abscond to Amazonia". Literally "within a country of vaginas".
1. David Attenborough: "But once the fly trap is fed a piece of meat, time-lapse photography demonstrates a dramatic change in growth. By the third invagination, the Venus fly trap has already offered up two new leaves."

2. John Ashcroft: "But once the Eye-rackie is tied to the rack, time-lapse photography demonstrates a dramatic change in growth. By the third invagination, the Taliban suspect has already offered up three new accomplices. Even better, by the fourth invagination, he was no longer able to speak or make any noise at all. A good day's work for the NSA."

3. HMB: "Dude, your aunt is really starting to freak me out. Last time we made out, she suggested invagination, and I agreed. But she made me wrap a brick in cellophane and stick it up her pussy. You don't pay me enough for this sort of crap. I'm going back to Taco Bell."

4. When the American troops arrived in Hanoi to reinforce the ARVN troops there, they quickly learned the skills to stay alive, including camouflage, mine detection, and most importantly, avoiding the major fighting from the vantage point of an observatory invagination - often in groups.
by HMB February 8, 2004
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blue ball

1. A ball that is blue.
2. A testicle or testicles that are blue.
3. A testicle or testicles that have not been used for a long time and therefore, in male mythological perception, are blue in color. This is merely metaphorical as the only way that testicles can turn blue are A) through the application of ink or paint, as in the scrotal tattooes of the old wrinkled retainers of the WangaWonkee tribes of the lower Balkans, or B) through constriction, as in preparation for castration (to prevent urination, which may infect the wound before it heals adequately).
My girlfriend wouldn:t screw me/do me/tattoo me so I went to bed with blue balls.
by HMB April 27, 2003
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SMVC

Shoulder Mounted Video Camera: (noun) The weapon of choice for today's journalist in use in self defence, when they find themselves embedded with American soldiers abroad in some festering petrochemical shithole of a desert nation fighting a war that they don't want and can't win, wearing a distinctinve "Shoot me please!" Army uniform.
Soldier: Dude, you are so dead when we move out to Ramallah. I hear them Eye-rackies out there got RPGs up the wazoo.

NBC reporter: Aha! Well that's where you're wrong my friend. I have an SMVC! FEAR MY VIDEO CAMERA.

Soldier: Christ.
by HMB November 18, 2003
mugGet the SMVCmug.

badasserarium

Any given place where more than one badass can reliably be found. In modern times, this may mean a certain night club, a certain seedy bar, or even any given trailer park - depending on the inhabitants.

Historically, this was named after the Badasserarium in Brundisium, a temple erected by Emperor Nero in the year 55. The original Badasserarium honored the final, most badass professional fighters left standing after the Great Gladiatorial Gangbang in July of that year. The survivors of a massive day-long free-for-all initiated with 900 heavily armed and alcoholically lubricated gladiators, these handful were granted the honorific Badassissimus, indicating status of an ass far worse than any other precursors in the field of badassery. Enshrined during their lifetimes as living saints of the Badasserarium, such was their fame that even respectable matrons and virgin girls of Brundisium would pay good money to spend fifteen seconds with any one of them, who would bestow his virility and virtue upon them with a Falcon Punch to the abdomen, leaving them unable to walk - sometimes permanently.

Upon being asked by Nero whether this was absolutely necessary, the Badassissimus responded by roaring incoherently and kicking a watermelon hard enough to orbit the known world twice and decapitate a nearby catamite the following Thursday. Suetonius translates this to mean: "Yes, I am afraid it is."
"This San Francisco restaurant once served lunch to Bruce Lee, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and Chuck Norris at the same sitting. For the brief duration of that lunch, decades ago, this restaurant was a badasserarium."

"The Badassissimus of the Badasserarium was a badass well known for his consummate badassery."
by HMB May 2, 2010
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smartacity

The state of being a smart ass, or possibly something done to create such a state. A Latinate spelling of "smart-ass-ity".
HMB's urbandictionary definitions are characterized by their loquacity, obscurity, and smartacity.

"What your comment lacks in logical merit or accuracy, it more than makes up for in smartacity."
by HMB December 24, 2007
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osimosity

(Noun) The state or condition of being awesome. Defined in a bogus mathematical theorem as:

Quality + Perception
-------------------- = Osimosity
Vulgar popularity

Not to be confused with animosity, or pretentiosity.
1. Lord Ossum of the Ossumites was an Ozymandian well known for his osimosity.

2.
Freddie:
I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me...

Chorus:
HE'S-JUST-A-POOR-BOY/
NAMED-FREDDIE-MERCURY/
BOW-GASP-AND-QUAIL/
AT-HIS-OSIMOSITY!
by HMB August 2, 2004
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