HMB's definitions
The practice of holding a hand out the window while driving at high speed and "cupping" the oncoming air as though it were a boob.
HMB: Hey, mind if I open a window?
DTM: Sure. Did you fart?
HMB: No, I just want to grab an air boob.
DTM: Ahhh, yes. Air boob time!
HMB: AIR BOOOOOOOOB!
(Both roll down windows, grab air boob.)
DTM's dad (confused): ..."air boob"...?
DTM: Sure. Did you fart?
HMB: No, I just want to grab an air boob.
DTM: Ahhh, yes. Air boob time!
HMB: AIR BOOOOOOOOB!
(Both roll down windows, grab air boob.)
DTM's dad (confused): ..."air boob"...?
by HMB September 15, 2009
Get the air boob mug.A person who believes in the teachings of Christ. Christianity was originally canonized and collated by the Roman Catholic Church. In the late 1500s, Henry VIII of England split with the Church and founded a Protestant Church. Later offshoots of this Protestant faith reached America and gave rise to the large number of different denominations and sects of Christian faith.
Statistics indicate that Christianity is the religion with the largest number of believers worldwide.
Christianity shares many facets of faith alongside the other Abrahamic faiths Judaism and Islam. All are monotheistic, all stress kindness to your fellow men, and all faiths maintain that the path to true happiness lies in devotion to God and the adherence to guidelines set out in canonical texts, whether these be the Old Testament, the New Testament, or the Quran.
Statistics indicate that Christianity is the religion with the largest number of believers worldwide.
Christianity shares many facets of faith alongside the other Abrahamic faiths Judaism and Islam. All are monotheistic, all stress kindness to your fellow men, and all faiths maintain that the path to true happiness lies in devotion to God and the adherence to guidelines set out in canonical texts, whether these be the Old Testament, the New Testament, or the Quran.
"I can't seem to get any water out of my faucet and the bathtub backs up with dirty smelly water. I've tried Draino and Clorox and nothing works. I think I should call a Christian."
"Dude, don't you mean a plumber."
"Actually yeah you're right. I need a plumber."
"Dude, don't you mean a plumber."
"Actually yeah you're right. I need a plumber."
by HMB April 7, 2003
Get the Christian mug.A variant on the famous "Schrodinger's Cat" thought exercise, which questions the living or dead status of a cat locked in a box with a randomly-released toxic gas.
In a Schrodinger's Crap situation, a form of uncertainty principle is applied to certain types of bowel movements which defy pre-emergence classification. It is impossible to accurately predict their state until after it has emerged, by which point it is too late.
Parameters:
1. Something in your rectum is trying to get out.
2. It will be a solid, or a liquid, or a gas. And no other. (No plasmas, etc.)
3. If its final state is gaseous, you can liberate it with minimal concern.
4. If it is either liquid or solid, it will require further steps for successful disposal.
The paradox lies in the fact that the exact state of a Schrodinger's Crap cannot be accurately deduced before opening the system to observation. But opening the system to observation is fatal to the system's continued existence, as the toxic gas is already released. Followed to its logical extreme, the Schrodinger's Crap theory posits that the contents of the system are ALL OF: a solid, a liquid, and a gas - simultaneously.
(Note: the word "uncertainty" also has the word "taint" in it. Coincidence? I think not.)
In a Schrodinger's Crap situation, a form of uncertainty principle is applied to certain types of bowel movements which defy pre-emergence classification. It is impossible to accurately predict their state until after it has emerged, by which point it is too late.
Parameters:
1. Something in your rectum is trying to get out.
2. It will be a solid, or a liquid, or a gas. And no other. (No plasmas, etc.)
3. If its final state is gaseous, you can liberate it with minimal concern.
4. If it is either liquid or solid, it will require further steps for successful disposal.
The paradox lies in the fact that the exact state of a Schrodinger's Crap cannot be accurately deduced before opening the system to observation. But opening the system to observation is fatal to the system's continued existence, as the toxic gas is already released. Followed to its logical extreme, the Schrodinger's Crap theory posits that the contents of the system are ALL OF: a solid, a liquid, and a gas - simultaneously.
(Note: the word "uncertainty" also has the word "taint" in it. Coincidence? I think not.)
HMB: Dude, you're walking funny.
HDT: I can't help it. I feel like I wanna fart, or maybe take a dump. But I can't figure out if I'm going to "gamble and lose". I feel like I'm touching cloth.
APLR: Wait, I have an answer. Your digestive system is entirely described by a single state function, "psi". For every observable, "A", there is a corresponding Hermitian Operator, "A^". The result of measuring "A" must be an eigenvalue of "A^". If such an operator has eigenvalue "a" and corresponding eigenstate "phi", then the probability of measuring "a" is the positive value of ("phi"|"psi") all squared. If the result of a measurement of "A" is "a", then the state of the system changes to the eigenstate "phi". Between measurements, "psi" evolves according to the Time-Dependent Schrodinger Equation.
HMB: ...
HDT: ...
APLR: What this means in layman's terms is that the state of your bowel movement cannot be independently observed without opening the system and releasing toxic gases. You have a Schrodinger's Crap situation.
HDT: ... and now I am touching socks.
HDT: I can't help it. I feel like I wanna fart, or maybe take a dump. But I can't figure out if I'm going to "gamble and lose". I feel like I'm touching cloth.
APLR: Wait, I have an answer. Your digestive system is entirely described by a single state function, "psi". For every observable, "A", there is a corresponding Hermitian Operator, "A^". The result of measuring "A" must be an eigenvalue of "A^". If such an operator has eigenvalue "a" and corresponding eigenstate "phi", then the probability of measuring "a" is the positive value of ("phi"|"psi") all squared. If the result of a measurement of "A" is "a", then the state of the system changes to the eigenstate "phi". Between measurements, "psi" evolves according to the Time-Dependent Schrodinger Equation.
HMB: ...
HDT: ...
APLR: What this means in layman's terms is that the state of your bowel movement cannot be independently observed without opening the system and releasing toxic gases. You have a Schrodinger's Crap situation.
HDT: ... and now I am touching socks.
by HMB September 13, 2009
Get the Schrodinger's Crap mug.An endearing act of intimacy or light petting. When you gently rub your nose against the cheeks of another person, that is called a "nuffle". Also known as an Eskimo Kiss, this is a non-sexual, affectionate gesture that you can do to a lover, or a family member.
HMB: Is it polite to keep your eyes open when you nuffle?
AC: Sure, why not? Nuffling isn't like kissing. It's just like a hug. Except you use your face.
HMB: Okay. *nuffles AC*
AC: Awww...gemes! ^_^
AC: Sure, why not? Nuffling isn't like kissing. It's just like a hug. Except you use your face.
HMB: Okay. *nuffles AC*
AC: Awww...gemes! ^_^
by HMB September 22, 2006
Get the nuffle mug.(noun) From Ancient Greek dramatic tradition, this usually comes after a great revelation (anagnorisis) has occurred, and consists of a reversal of fortunes. Thus, a king who rules wisely for fifty years, then discovers that he killed his father and married his mother without knowing it, is at that point in time a participant in a peripetaeia.
Film Critic 1: "I was relaxing with a few porn vids the other night and it turns out one of them was a gay porn tape that I'd shoplifted by mistake. Well, guess who was starring in that gay tape?"
Film Critic 2: "Dude, I don't know. I don't watch gay porn."
Film Critic 1: "Me neither, but get this: it was Peter North."
Film Critic 2: "No way!"
Film Critic 1: "I swear, it was Peter North. And another guy was doing him up the butt and then he comes all over the schoolroom table."
Film Critic 2: "Well this certainly makes for a very dramatic peripetaeia, coming as it does hot on the heels of an anagnorisis."
Film Critic 1: "Yes, and we might even say that his latent homosexuality is his hamartia."
Film Critic 2: "Dude, I don't know. I don't watch gay porn."
Film Critic 1: "Me neither, but get this: it was Peter North."
Film Critic 2: "No way!"
Film Critic 1: "I swear, it was Peter North. And another guy was doing him up the butt and then he comes all over the schoolroom table."
Film Critic 2: "Well this certainly makes for a very dramatic peripetaeia, coming as it does hot on the heels of an anagnorisis."
Film Critic 1: "Yes, and we might even say that his latent homosexuality is his hamartia."
by HMB November 20, 2003
Get the peripetaeia mug.In text-only conversations, such as email, IM, or status updates, this word means "looks proud" or "looks smug".
It can often be intended ironically, especially when somebody has done something dubious or unhygienic but still feels the need to tell others about it.
It can often be intended ironically, especially when somebody has done something dubious or unhygienic but still feels the need to tell others about it.
Conversation 1 (straight usage):
HMB: Hey, I got sworn in at the high court this week as a lawyer! Woo hoo!
DTM: Oh wow! Respect! I'd imagine you're over the moon about this!
HMB: Yes. Yes, I am. *prouds*
Conversation 2 (ironic usage):
HMB: I breathed on a kitten once, and it got real sick. *prouds*
DTM: Dude, WTF.
HMB: Hey, I got sworn in at the high court this week as a lawyer! Woo hoo!
DTM: Oh wow! Respect! I'd imagine you're over the moon about this!
HMB: Yes. Yes, I am. *prouds*
Conversation 2 (ironic usage):
HMB: I breathed on a kitten once, and it got real sick. *prouds*
DTM: Dude, WTF.
by HMB December 21, 2009
Get the prouds mug.A handpalm is a scenario where a normally-competitive situation has become so unbalanced that one side dominates all of the others and exercises an overwhelming degree of control. It metaphorically refers to the dominant player holding all the rest of the players "in the palm of the hand", meaning it can crush them and end the contest at any point. At this point, any actual competition purely symbolic - the contest continues solely at the desire of the dominant player.
A situation like this can arise in a simple game such as checkers or chess, or it can apply to more complex scenarios like economic competition, academic mastery of a given field, or military might.
Note that merely being the strongest player is not enough for a handpalm scenario. The scenario must become so lopsided that no action by any of the opposing elements can possibly break the victor's dominant position, short of intentional self-handicap or monumentally inept play.
A situation like this can arise in a simple game such as checkers or chess, or it can apply to more complex scenarios like economic competition, academic mastery of a given field, or military might.
Note that merely being the strongest player is not enough for a handpalm scenario. The scenario must become so lopsided that no action by any of the opposing elements can possibly break the victor's dominant position, short of intentional self-handicap or monumentally inept play.
Ex 1:
HMB: "I played chess against my girlfriend last night. It was brutal. She started with a handicap of one Bishop, one Knight, and one Rook and she STILL managed to corner me with two Queens and a Rook. She then spent ten moves of her stalemate count just taunting me with them to make her point."
HDT: "Wow. I've never seen a handpalm of that magnitude. Rusty?"
HMB: "You're telling me. I played a game of chess against myself the other day and somehow managed to lose."
Ex 2:
HMB: "My girlfriend inflicted the most intense handpalm last night. I'm still staggering from the blow."
DTM (who doesn't understand the term): "NIIICE! High five?"
HMB: "...no. No, I think not..."
HMB: "I played chess against my girlfriend last night. It was brutal. She started with a handicap of one Bishop, one Knight, and one Rook and she STILL managed to corner me with two Queens and a Rook. She then spent ten moves of her stalemate count just taunting me with them to make her point."
HDT: "Wow. I've never seen a handpalm of that magnitude. Rusty?"
HMB: "You're telling me. I played a game of chess against myself the other day and somehow managed to lose."
Ex 2:
HMB: "My girlfriend inflicted the most intense handpalm last night. I'm still staggering from the blow."
DTM (who doesn't understand the term): "NIIICE! High five?"
HMB: "...no. No, I think not..."
by HMB February 6, 2010
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