HMB's definitions
Similar to satiscraptory, this term denotes anything of below average quality for masturbation, put to use because there's nothing better around.
1. I was searching for some pictures the other day in order to host a wrestling match between the Pink Darth Vader and Hand Solo. I coulnd't find any Carrie Fisher pictures, only Jamie Lee Curtis. But I photochopped them into a white dress and headphone hair, and it was satisfaptory.
by HMB August 13, 2004
Get the satisfaptory mug.In text-only conversations, such as email, IM, or status updates, this word means "looks proud" or "looks smug".
It can often be intended ironically, especially when somebody has done something dubious or unhygienic but still feels the need to tell others about it.
It can often be intended ironically, especially when somebody has done something dubious or unhygienic but still feels the need to tell others about it.
Conversation 1 (straight usage):
HMB: Hey, I got sworn in at the high court this week as a lawyer! Woo hoo!
DTM: Oh wow! Respect! I'd imagine you're over the moon about this!
HMB: Yes. Yes, I am. *prouds*
Conversation 2 (ironic usage):
HMB: I breathed on a kitten once, and it got real sick. *prouds*
DTM: Dude, WTF.
HMB: Hey, I got sworn in at the high court this week as a lawyer! Woo hoo!
DTM: Oh wow! Respect! I'd imagine you're over the moon about this!
HMB: Yes. Yes, I am. *prouds*
Conversation 2 (ironic usage):
HMB: I breathed on a kitten once, and it got real sick. *prouds*
DTM: Dude, WTF.
by HMB December 21, 2009
Get the prouds mug.The practice of letting somebody in your social group get away with something normally punishable, solely by virtue of their gender.
Men in a bar will often give a woman a sexemption from paying for drinks.
Women at a homecooked dinner will often give a male diner a free pass from having to do the dishes.
Men in a bar will often give a woman a sexemption from paying for drinks.
Women at a homecooked dinner will often give a male diner a free pass from having to do the dishes.
There's a female poster on this games forum who keeps doing things that nobody would put up with in a guy poster. But I guess most of the other posters are dudes, and they don't want to scare her off, so she gets sexemption for now.
by HMB April 30, 2009
Get the sexemption mug.A handpalm is a scenario where a normally-competitive situation has become so unbalanced that one side dominates all of the others and exercises an overwhelming degree of control. It metaphorically refers to the dominant player holding all the rest of the players "in the palm of the hand", meaning it can crush them and end the contest at any point. At this point, any actual competition purely symbolic - the contest continues solely at the desire of the dominant player.
A situation like this can arise in a simple game such as checkers or chess, or it can apply to more complex scenarios like economic competition, academic mastery of a given field, or military might.
Note that merely being the strongest player is not enough for a handpalm scenario. The scenario must become so lopsided that no action by any of the opposing elements can possibly break the victor's dominant position, short of intentional self-handicap or monumentally inept play.
A situation like this can arise in a simple game such as checkers or chess, or it can apply to more complex scenarios like economic competition, academic mastery of a given field, or military might.
Note that merely being the strongest player is not enough for a handpalm scenario. The scenario must become so lopsided that no action by any of the opposing elements can possibly break the victor's dominant position, short of intentional self-handicap or monumentally inept play.
Ex 1:
HMB: "I played chess against my girlfriend last night. It was brutal. She started with a handicap of one Bishop, one Knight, and one Rook and she STILL managed to corner me with two Queens and a Rook. She then spent ten moves of her stalemate count just taunting me with them to make her point."
HDT: "Wow. I've never seen a handpalm of that magnitude. Rusty?"
HMB: "You're telling me. I played a game of chess against myself the other day and somehow managed to lose."
Ex 2:
HMB: "My girlfriend inflicted the most intense handpalm last night. I'm still staggering from the blow."
DTM (who doesn't understand the term): "NIIICE! High five?"
HMB: "...no. No, I think not..."
HMB: "I played chess against my girlfriend last night. It was brutal. She started with a handicap of one Bishop, one Knight, and one Rook and she STILL managed to corner me with two Queens and a Rook. She then spent ten moves of her stalemate count just taunting me with them to make her point."
HDT: "Wow. I've never seen a handpalm of that magnitude. Rusty?"
HMB: "You're telling me. I played a game of chess against myself the other day and somehow managed to lose."
Ex 2:
HMB: "My girlfriend inflicted the most intense handpalm last night. I'm still staggering from the blow."
DTM (who doesn't understand the term): "NIIICE! High five?"
HMB: "...no. No, I think not..."
by HMB February 6, 2010
Get the handpalm mug.A medical procedure in which a person puts on a rubber cock. Frequently done before instances of lesbian sex.
"I underwent a strapadictomy with my lesbian lover, Minjita."
by HMB July 26, 2003
Get the strapadictomy mug.1. A category of smoothbore firearm that fires pellets (shot) or slugs. Comes in break-action or pump-action variants. Known to cause fits of unpredictable joy in HMBs.
2. A method of defecation whereby the buttocks are spread prior to discharge.
3. An esoteric form of bukkake. Upon reaching the vinegar strokes, the shotgun initiator must hold his scrotum in one hand and his shaft in the other, and pump between each ejaculation. This is derived from the manner of operating a pump-action shotgun, although the ammunition in question is completely different.
4. Any wedding whereby the groom is extremely morose and the bride is extremely pregnant.
5. A type of corridor-style house where the front door and back door line up and are usually directly connected by a single, straight hallway.
2. A method of defecation whereby the buttocks are spread prior to discharge.
3. An esoteric form of bukkake. Upon reaching the vinegar strokes, the shotgun initiator must hold his scrotum in one hand and his shaft in the other, and pump between each ejaculation. This is derived from the manner of operating a pump-action shotgun, although the ammunition in question is completely different.
4. Any wedding whereby the groom is extremely morose and the bride is extremely pregnant.
5. A type of corridor-style house where the front door and back door line up and are usually directly connected by a single, straight hallway.
1. The TIE Pilot HuManBing was lying in wait, with his shotgun sight trained on a hill.
His recent work freelancing had tired him of late, so he took some time off for a kill.
Away on a hilltop, cavorting around, effete and effeminate prey,
Were multiple Yoshi, inchoate and dozy, about whom the TIE Pilot said:
"Blood! Blood! Glorious blood! Nothing quite like it to make one feel good!
So slide-shuck your shotgun, assuming you've got one,
And then we'll go pot some for glorious blood!"
(This can be sung to the tune of "The Hippopotamus" if so desired.)
2. Last night, I ate so much curry and then took a shotgun dump, and now my toilet is full of crapnel that won't flush away.
3. "It is inadvisable for neophyte bukkakist to attempt shotgun without presence of trained professional medical team. Please also to ensure that said team is well equipped with defibrillators, Viagra, and large cotton sock in case of emergency." *demure titter, covers face with fan* ~ Speech given at the entrance of the Sapporo Tourist Baths by the geisha guide.
4. Girlfriend: Guess what, Brad!
Boyfriend: You're going to put a stud in your tongue and use ice cubes next time?
Girlfriend: No - I'm pregnant! :D
Boyfriend: SHIT.
Girlfriend: We're going to have a baby! :D
Boyfriend: FUCK.
Girlfriend: There's going to be the pitter-patter of little feet in the house! :D
Boyfriend: ARSE.
Girlfriend: What type of marriage would you like? White or peach?
Boyfriend: SCROTE.
Girlfriend: Ohmygosh I'm going to have to call all my girlfriends so they can come over to coo and fawn solicitously in a sickening display of female hormonal Pavlovian response! :D
Boyfriend: TIT.
Girlfriend: What's the matter, dear? I sense a divergence of our emotive dispositions at this juncture.
Boyfriend: I'M NOT MARRYING ANYBODY. GODDAMIT I'M ONLY 23.
Girlfriend: Well, my Daddy's a federal marshal. We *could* make it a Magnum funeral, if you prefer.
Boyfriend: ...
Girlfriend: (singing, unhelpfully) Goin' to the cha-pel an' we're - gonna get ma-a-a-ried...
5. Agent Powell, here are your mission objectives:
A) Ride SHOTGUN with the Ret. Gen. to the Crawford rural area.
B) Approach SHOTGUN ranch through front door.
C) Force entry using rifled slug ammunition in SHOTGUN to remove the locking mechanism.
D) De-elect the resident with a SHOTGUN to the face.
E) Locate and de-elect the vice-resident with a SHOTGUN to the face.
F) After which, lower trousers and apply generous SHOTGUN to the face.
G) Spray Lysol in the air. It is the polite thing to do.
His recent work freelancing had tired him of late, so he took some time off for a kill.
Away on a hilltop, cavorting around, effete and effeminate prey,
Were multiple Yoshi, inchoate and dozy, about whom the TIE Pilot said:
"Blood! Blood! Glorious blood! Nothing quite like it to make one feel good!
So slide-shuck your shotgun, assuming you've got one,
And then we'll go pot some for glorious blood!"
(This can be sung to the tune of "The Hippopotamus" if so desired.)
2. Last night, I ate so much curry and then took a shotgun dump, and now my toilet is full of crapnel that won't flush away.
3. "It is inadvisable for neophyte bukkakist to attempt shotgun without presence of trained professional medical team. Please also to ensure that said team is well equipped with defibrillators, Viagra, and large cotton sock in case of emergency." *demure titter, covers face with fan* ~ Speech given at the entrance of the Sapporo Tourist Baths by the geisha guide.
4. Girlfriend: Guess what, Brad!
Boyfriend: You're going to put a stud in your tongue and use ice cubes next time?
Girlfriend: No - I'm pregnant! :D
Boyfriend: SHIT.
Girlfriend: We're going to have a baby! :D
Boyfriend: FUCK.
Girlfriend: There's going to be the pitter-patter of little feet in the house! :D
Boyfriend: ARSE.
Girlfriend: What type of marriage would you like? White or peach?
Boyfriend: SCROTE.
Girlfriend: Ohmygosh I'm going to have to call all my girlfriends so they can come over to coo and fawn solicitously in a sickening display of female hormonal Pavlovian response! :D
Boyfriend: TIT.
Girlfriend: What's the matter, dear? I sense a divergence of our emotive dispositions at this juncture.
Boyfriend: I'M NOT MARRYING ANYBODY. GODDAMIT I'M ONLY 23.
Girlfriend: Well, my Daddy's a federal marshal. We *could* make it a Magnum funeral, if you prefer.
Boyfriend: ...
Girlfriend: (singing, unhelpfully) Goin' to the cha-pel an' we're - gonna get ma-a-a-ried...
5. Agent Powell, here are your mission objectives:
A) Ride SHOTGUN with the Ret. Gen. to the Crawford rural area.
B) Approach SHOTGUN ranch through front door.
C) Force entry using rifled slug ammunition in SHOTGUN to remove the locking mechanism.
D) De-elect the resident with a SHOTGUN to the face.
E) Locate and de-elect the vice-resident with a SHOTGUN to the face.
F) After which, lower trousers and apply generous SHOTGUN to the face.
G) Spray Lysol in the air. It is the polite thing to do.
by HMB December 17, 2004
Get the shotgun mug.Meno - abbreviation of menopausal
by HMB July 9, 2021
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