HMB's definitions
A handpalm is a scenario where a normally-competitive situation has become so unbalanced that one side dominates all of the others and exercises an overwhelming degree of control. It metaphorically refers to the dominant player holding all the rest of the players "in the palm of the hand", meaning it can crush them and end the contest at any point. At this point, any actual competition purely symbolic - the contest continues solely at the desire of the dominant player.
A situation like this can arise in a simple game such as checkers or chess, or it can apply to more complex scenarios like economic competition, academic mastery of a given field, or military might.
Note that merely being the strongest player is not enough for a handpalm scenario. The scenario must become so lopsided that no action by any of the opposing elements can possibly break the victor's dominant position, short of intentional self-handicap or monumentally inept play.
A situation like this can arise in a simple game such as checkers or chess, or it can apply to more complex scenarios like economic competition, academic mastery of a given field, or military might.
Note that merely being the strongest player is not enough for a handpalm scenario. The scenario must become so lopsided that no action by any of the opposing elements can possibly break the victor's dominant position, short of intentional self-handicap or monumentally inept play.
Ex 1:
HMB: "I played chess against my girlfriend last night. It was brutal. She started with a handicap of one Bishop, one Knight, and one Rook and she STILL managed to corner me with two Queens and a Rook. She then spent ten moves of her stalemate count just taunting me with them to make her point."
HDT: "Wow. I've never seen a handpalm of that magnitude. Rusty?"
HMB: "You're telling me. I played a game of chess against myself the other day and somehow managed to lose."
Ex 2:
HMB: "My girlfriend inflicted the most intense handpalm last night. I'm still staggering from the blow."
DTM (who doesn't understand the term): "NIIICE! High five?"
HMB: "...no. No, I think not..."
HMB: "I played chess against my girlfriend last night. It was brutal. She started with a handicap of one Bishop, one Knight, and one Rook and she STILL managed to corner me with two Queens and a Rook. She then spent ten moves of her stalemate count just taunting me with them to make her point."
HDT: "Wow. I've never seen a handpalm of that magnitude. Rusty?"
HMB: "You're telling me. I played a game of chess against myself the other day and somehow managed to lose."
Ex 2:
HMB: "My girlfriend inflicted the most intense handpalm last night. I'm still staggering from the blow."
DTM (who doesn't understand the term): "NIIICE! High five?"
HMB: "...no. No, I think not..."
by HMB February 6, 2010
Get the handpalm mug.The practice of letting somebody in your social group get away with something normally punishable, solely by virtue of their gender.
Men in a bar will often give a woman a sexemption from paying for drinks.
Women at a homecooked dinner will often give a male diner a free pass from having to do the dishes.
Men in a bar will often give a woman a sexemption from paying for drinks.
Women at a homecooked dinner will often give a male diner a free pass from having to do the dishes.
There's a female poster on this games forum who keeps doing things that nobody would put up with in a guy poster. But I guess most of the other posters are dudes, and they don't want to scare her off, so she gets sexemption for now.
by HMB April 30, 2009
Get the sexemption mug.In text-only conversations, such as email, IM, or status updates, this word means "looks proud" or "looks smug".
It can often be intended ironically, especially when somebody has done something dubious or unhygienic but still feels the need to tell others about it.
It can often be intended ironically, especially when somebody has done something dubious or unhygienic but still feels the need to tell others about it.
Conversation 1 (straight usage):
HMB: Hey, I got sworn in at the high court this week as a lawyer! Woo hoo!
DTM: Oh wow! Respect! I'd imagine you're over the moon about this!
HMB: Yes. Yes, I am. *prouds*
Conversation 2 (ironic usage):
HMB: I breathed on a kitten once, and it got real sick. *prouds*
DTM: Dude, WTF.
HMB: Hey, I got sworn in at the high court this week as a lawyer! Woo hoo!
DTM: Oh wow! Respect! I'd imagine you're over the moon about this!
HMB: Yes. Yes, I am. *prouds*
Conversation 2 (ironic usage):
HMB: I breathed on a kitten once, and it got real sick. *prouds*
DTM: Dude, WTF.
by HMB December 21, 2009
Get the prouds mug.Similar to satiscraptory, this term denotes anything of below average quality for masturbation, put to use because there's nothing better around.
1. I was searching for some pictures the other day in order to host a wrestling match between the Pink Darth Vader and Hand Solo. I coulnd't find any Carrie Fisher pictures, only Jamie Lee Curtis. But I photochopped them into a white dress and headphone hair, and it was satisfaptory.
by HMB August 13, 2004
Get the satisfaptory mug.1. To masturbate to orgasm (usually suffixed by "over" something or somebody). This is usually but not exclusively used to describe male masturbation.
2. To lose consciousness (3rd person). Used when describing a general nonspecific occurrence.
3. To lose consciousness (1st person Royal). Used exclusively by members of the hereditary ruling families of English speaking countries to describe what happened to them when they were last playing "Who's the Tampon, Camilla?"
4. (imperative) An injunction given, in the 2nd person singular, to knock out one of whatever is to be knocked out.
2. To lose consciousness (3rd person). Used when describing a general nonspecific occurrence.
3. To lose consciousness (1st person Royal). Used exclusively by members of the hereditary ruling families of English speaking countries to describe what happened to them when they were last playing "Who's the Tampon, Camilla?"
4. (imperative) An injunction given, in the 2nd person singular, to knock out one of whatever is to be knocked out.
1. "Did you see that .jpeg of Madonna with the thong and pickled egg? I was on my way to work but when I saw that in my inbox I was waylaid by the need to rest awhile and knock one out."
2. "Billy, have you been knocking one out over here? The smell in this room is enough to knock one out."
3. "One has been knocking one out, one must pronounce oneself feeble as the strain of so doing has been enough to knock one out."
4. When two Scouse teenagers - wearing Kappa tracksuits and sporting formidable Scouse 'fro hairstyles - are going around smashing windows of buildings, and come across a 14th century church with several irreplaceable Gothic stained glass windows depicting scenes from the life of the Virgin Mary, passersby may often hear one Scouse youth inquire of the other whether the ecclesiastical image is worthy to be spared from their brand of urban renewal. The response is frequently "A-right, we'll just knock one out, then, an' leave the rest, okay Barry?" (HMB's Guide to Liverpool Nightlife, Fodders and Stoughton, 1993)
2. "Billy, have you been knocking one out over here? The smell in this room is enough to knock one out."
3. "One has been knocking one out, one must pronounce oneself feeble as the strain of so doing has been enough to knock one out."
4. When two Scouse teenagers - wearing Kappa tracksuits and sporting formidable Scouse 'fro hairstyles - are going around smashing windows of buildings, and come across a 14th century church with several irreplaceable Gothic stained glass windows depicting scenes from the life of the Virgin Mary, passersby may often hear one Scouse youth inquire of the other whether the ecclesiastical image is worthy to be spared from their brand of urban renewal. The response is frequently "A-right, we'll just knock one out, then, an' leave the rest, okay Barry?" (HMB's Guide to Liverpool Nightlife, Fodders and Stoughton, 1993)
by HMB April 6, 2003
Get the knock one out mug."A fayre visaged manne was in the partee,
Lipsed of voyse, and limpe of wriste eek.
Ful wynsomme a crafty butcher was he,
We played heide thee sausage and I could not sitte downe for a weeke."
- Geoffrey Chaucer, Prologue to the Canterbury Tales
Lipsed of voyse, and limpe of wriste eek.
Ful wynsomme a crafty butcher was he,
We played heide thee sausage and I could not sitte downe for a weeke."
- Geoffrey Chaucer, Prologue to the Canterbury Tales
by HMB March 16, 2003
Get the crafty butcher mug.Masturbating a woman or girl to orgasm. This takes its name from the "flicking" motion of the middle finger when you are using a wheelmouse and trying to scroll down through a lot of text. In masturbation the action is almost exactly the same, except that the mouse wheel is replaced by your lucky lady's clit.
Also, I've noticed that the sound produced is completely different.
A similar computer/sex term is "double clicking on the mouse" which also means female masturbation.
Also, I've noticed that the sound produced is completely different.
A similar computer/sex term is "double clicking on the mouse" which also means female masturbation.
HMB (who is male): So, AC, what did you do all day today?
AC (who is female): You would not believe. I found a kick-ass .zip of photochopped fake Johnny Depp porn. It was a really big file, too. I had to spend almost two hours rolling the mouse wheel just to get through it.
HMB: Dear me. Airing the orchid?
AC: You bet. I got my daily musical practice of playing the upside down piano.
HMB: Feeding oats to the pony?
AC: Tickling the toothless gibbon.
HMB: Typing in the gussets.
AC: Paddling the pink canoe until it leaks.
HMB: Finger painting the ham sandwich.
AC: Stirring the mixing bowl.
HMB: Petting the cat.
AC: Fingering the bald suspect.
HMB: ... So, um, can I borrow that .zip file? ... For, erm, personal reasons...
AC: !
AC (who is female): You would not believe. I found a kick-ass .zip of photochopped fake Johnny Depp porn. It was a really big file, too. I had to spend almost two hours rolling the mouse wheel just to get through it.
HMB: Dear me. Airing the orchid?
AC: You bet. I got my daily musical practice of playing the upside down piano.
HMB: Feeding oats to the pony?
AC: Tickling the toothless gibbon.
HMB: Typing in the gussets.
AC: Paddling the pink canoe until it leaks.
HMB: Finger painting the ham sandwich.
AC: Stirring the mixing bowl.
HMB: Petting the cat.
AC: Fingering the bald suspect.
HMB: ... So, um, can I borrow that .zip file? ... For, erm, personal reasons...
AC: !
by HMB December 9, 2006
Get the rolling the mouse wheel mug.