HMB's definitions

Butt

1. Verb - to press up against or to jostle.
2. Noun - the end part of a rifle or shotgun or machinegun that rests against the shoulder or pectoral muscles to increase stability during firing.
3. Noun - the part of a human being that knows wind and earth. The buttocks and anus of a person.
4. Noun - the recipient or target of a joke.

Ever since Father O'Malley was caught butting that butt into that young choirboy's butt, he has become the butt of many cruel jokes.

by HMB April 11, 2003

jein

A German word meaning "both yes and no". Derives from the German "ja" for yes, and "nein" for no. Rhymes with "shine". This usually is said in response to a question that appears to be a yes/no question but on later consideration is actually more complicated than that.

HMB: I hear in Germany they sell alcoholic beverages by the liter instead of by the pint. I'll bet that's a much better way to enjoy yourself.

Dagmar (perplexed and pondering): Jein. Actually it is not being that simple, for the price of a glass of beer is higher than elsewhere, also it is harder to pace yourself... but I understand that time is rare so I must shrug it off.

HMB: LOL and ROLFMAO at your awesome German transliterations! "Time is rare"! You German girls are so cool! (Nuffles Dagmar.)

Dagmar (bewildered): ...does not compute...

by HMB November 25, 2006

gemes

An Indonesian (and probably Malay, too) word. This describes the behavior of women when they see a cute baby. It also describes the baby itself. Translated into English, it means roughly:

"The state of going out of one's mind in adoration of something that is extremely likeable or cute."

A woman under the influence of Gemes will hug and fondle the baby for very long periods of time, oblivious to all other disractions. (Including but not limited to: a boyfriend's inquiries, the train leaving the station, or the arrival of winter.)

Oftentimes, the bout of Gemes can be so severe that the baby will start crying, which only serves to intensify the attention paid to it in a vicious cycle of female hormonal reactions.

A group of Indonesian women: Aw! Look at the baby! GEMES!

A group of Indonesian boyfriends: WTF.

Used as an adjective: The baby was very gemes.

Used as a verb: The baby was gemesed.

Used as a verb: The women became gemesed over a single baby, who was itself gemes.

by HMB August 13, 2004

One

A unit of sex, although with no concrete definition. This can be given or slipped.

"Have you seen that Kate Moss. She's got tits like fried eggs but I'd certainly slip her one."

Mario: "How many marks would you give Princess Peach, out of two?"

Luigi: "Hmm. I'd give her one."

by HMB July 12, 2003

police sting

A "stealth bust" or "undercover bust". This describes the delightful surprise you get when a woman's breasts appear to be average or small when she's normally dressed, but then actually turn out to be unexpectedly large when she's naked. Also known as an "FBI visit", "CIA doorknock", or "Mossad strike" (or indeed any organization known to be stealthy... so not the NYPD, presumably).

AC (who is female): So, Bing, how did your date with that hot Indonesian chick go?
HMB (who is male): I'm still dazed.
AC: What happened?
HMB: Well, we caught a movie and then had dinner. After a glass of wine she asked to see my apartment, so I took her back. And you'd never believe it, but when I got her bra off, they almost poked my eyes out!
AC: Dear me. A police sting?
HMB: Aye.
AC: Get out! She looks so petite and slender!
HMB: You've got that right. She's the last person I'd have suspected of smuggling grapefruits. But hot damn! It was like dead heat in a zeppelin race in there.
AC: How big are they?
HMB: I'm guessing about 1.7 to 2.1 British Standard Handfuls. Not sure though. I might have to go back for more testing.
AC: Yes. Do that. Now.

by HMB October 21, 2006

George W. Bush

1. American colloquialism for a President, especially one who favors tax cuts, war with distant countries, and winning elections by exciting hair's breadth margins. Possessor of a lexicon and grammatical system entertaining beyond anything Lewis Carroll has dreamed up.

Many British visitors to the American shores are puzzled by American slang. It is worth remembering that the man they call "President Bush" is essentially the same person that the Brits call "President Cunt" back at home.

by HMB July 30, 2003

TMD

1. Territorial Missile Defence. The deployment of anti-missile interceptors and detectors to render a small territory (eg an island democracy) safe from missile attack by a continental adversary (eg a mainland dictatorship). This term is largely used to describe hotspots like Taiwan, Israel, and downtown LA.

2. A virulent Chinese curse, as per WMD and NMD. This is usually used of a thing or person in the third person. The meaning is somewhat akin to "that jerk" or "this useless piece of crap". Literally it means "of its/his/her mother".

1. President Bush: "China is a strategic competitor and we will sell Taiwan submarines and anti-missile defences and advanced naval technologies but China is our ally in the war against terror so we will not supply anything that would disturb the status quo and we support the One China policy and the Taiwanese people should be entitled to hold their own elections without military response from the mainland and could you please stop selling such cheap bras and panties please? We'll promise not to sell Taiwan a TMD if you do."

2. Chinese President Hu Jintao: "WTF is Bush talking about?"

Taiwanese President Chen Shui-Bian: "Dude, I don't know. TMD."

Chinese President Hu Jintao: "Damn straight. TMD. Nice spliff, BTW."

Taiwanese President Chen Shui-bian: "Thx."

by HMB March 12, 2004