Frustrated_Monolingual's definitions

Downside equity

(noun) - an asymmetrical business arrangement, usually in employment, where the risks of loss are concentrated on the employee to ensure that the employee has guaranteed losses on any business reversals and contingent returns on any positive developments.

You have mountains of downside equity in that contract. The partners can deduct from your paycheck to make you eat the cost of delays that the partners exclusively control. They can swallow your commission if their client doesn't pay. They can even recapture from your future salary any underpayment with the negative carry-forward that they've imposed. On the whole, you're just a sharecropper with a JD.

by Frustrated_Monolingual December 1, 2010

Cavelaw

(noun) - a legal service in which the nature of the work being performed, such as patent prosecution or document review, discourages contact with other human beings and alienates the worker from the broader legal context of the transaction for which the work is being performed.

Sally, who could have avoided her current fate by shagging one of her firm's partners while she was still young and hot, thought that going to biglaw would mean glamorous jury arguments, but her resume is now worthless, because she's been doing nothing but cavelaw for three years as she typed up summaries of documents for month after month.

by Frustrated_Monolingual September 13, 2009

LEPer

(noun) - A (typically highly educated) professional working in the United States due to scarce technical skills and in spite of a a deeply Limited English Proficiency (LEP). This is a very common malady in technology companies, university science and engineering departments, and government agencies that import significant portions of their workforce

Our electrical engineering department is just full of LEPers. Nice guys, and you can get lectures in circuit theory in any of 5 dozen asian languages, but there isn't a damn one of them that can hang together two English sentences.

by Frustrated_Monolingual August 4, 2009

Backfield shrinkage

(n) In law or other industries where time is entered by professionals for billing to clients, the process by which the time is "written down," by owners of the firm to reduce the compensation of the professionals entering the time.

Frequently, this phenomenon is accompanied by the owners of the firm "writing up" their own time on the same file to increase their own share of the billings to the client.

I billed 200 hours last month, but the backfield shrinkage will probably cut that in half by the time that it gets billed out.

by Frustrated_Monolingual December 29, 2010

Zooperb

Adjective - in a state of complete disorder such that it appears that the situation is being directed by angry baboons.

The thing that's making my schedule so zooperb these days is that the guys who are complaining about the timeliness of my work product are the same guys who are refusing to let me start work until they sign off on the proposals and recommendations that have been rotting on their desks for the past two months.

by Frustrated_Monolingual August 26, 2009

PMM

noun - perpetual motion manager: A manager that ignores all objective evidence to why his department is failing and is motivated only by his own bullshit desire to keep everyone in perpetual motion with pointless tasks and status reports.

Doesn't Joe know that micromanaging Sue only makes her more frustrated and makes her generate inferior work? Instead, Joe says that Sue doesn't care and is lazy. Joe is such a PMM.

by Frustrated_Monolingual March 12, 2010

Job Schindler

(n) The guy who, after leaving a crappy job, helps his buddies from the crappy job find new jobs at his new company.

Frank is a Job Schindler. As soon as he got out of there, he started pimping our resumes to his bosses.

by Frustrated_Monolingual September 9, 2010