Definitions by Frustrated_Monolingual
shamentarpen
(noun, borrowed from German) a tarp deployed over a college football stadium to hide empty seats that would otherwise be seen by television cameras.
Baylor uses a shamentarpen to cover the fact that they can't get fans into the stadium, even when they have a Heisman winner at QB. Rice uses a shamentarpen over each end zone, but each of them covers a number of seats lower than the average Rice SAT.
shamentarpen by Frustrated_Monolingual August 6, 2012
Conspiration
The five of us had a spontaneous conspiration, when we realized that each of us knew that two of the four owners were fucking headcases and we had to help each other find parachutes before the plane went into the drink.
Conspiration by Frustrated_Monolingual March 15, 2011
Midget Dick
(n) - In a workplace setting, a proposal with which the proposing party is obsessively infatuated in spite of the fact that the idea obviously lacks commercial, technical or intellectual merit. The term "midget dick" is especially appropriate to proposals advanced by leadership, because the Napoleonic height of the midget is implicitly compared to the leadership of the proposing party. Midget dick proposals are usually implemented only if the midget is sufficiently powerful that coworkers are unwilling to point out the obvious deficiencies.
The customers are going to make fun of the latest midget dick from our product manager, but nobody's willing to stop her because she's sleeping with the boss.
Midget Dick by Frustrated_Monolingual January 21, 2011
Workaspora
(n) - a social network consisting of the diaspora of former coworkers who scatter when a formerly-functional workplace detonates and everyone runs for the exits or loses employment. The post-detonation value of a workaspora to any particular member is directly proportional to the quality of the workforce assembled by the formerly-functional workplace prior to the detonation.
Example (1): She shouldn't have any trouble finding a job. The workaspora from her company is now spread out over every profitable firm in her industry.
Example(2): The reason that the workaspora from her company is so tight is that they had all loved working together before the merger and the shared suffering of the acquisition forced them to watch each other's backs until each person could get over the wall.
Example(2): The reason that the workaspora from her company is so tight is that they had all loved working together before the merger and the shared suffering of the acquisition forced them to watch each other's backs until each person could get over the wall.
Workaspora by Frustrated_Monolingual January 18, 2011
Backfield shrinkage
(n) In law or other industries where time is entered by professionals for billing to clients, the process by which the time is "written down," by owners of the firm to reduce the compensation of the professionals entering the time.
Frequently, this phenomenon is accompanied by the owners of the firm "writing up" their own time on the same file to increase their own share of the billings to the client.
Frequently, this phenomenon is accompanied by the owners of the firm "writing up" their own time on the same file to increase their own share of the billings to the client.
I billed 200 hours last month, but the backfield shrinkage will probably cut that in half by the time that it gets billed out.
Backfield shrinkage by Frustrated_Monolingual December 29, 2010
Downside equity
(noun) - an asymmetrical business arrangement, usually in employment, where the risks of loss are concentrated on the employee to ensure that the employee has guaranteed losses on any business reversals and contingent returns on any positive developments.
You have mountains of downside equity in that contract. The partners can deduct from your paycheck to make you eat the cost of delays that the partners exclusively control. They can swallow your commission if their client doesn't pay. They can even recapture from your future salary any underpayment with the negative carry-forward that they've imposed. On the whole, you're just a sharecropper with a JD.
Downside equity by Frustrated_Monolingual December 1, 2010
Job Schindler
(n) The guy who, after leaving a crappy job, helps his buddies from the crappy job find new jobs at his new company.
Frank is a Job Schindler. As soon as he got out of there, he started pimping our resumes to his bosses.
Job Schindler by Frustrated_Monolingual September 9, 2010