Fasters's definitions

Coffining

Punishing someone who refuses to wear a mask by making them lie in an open coffin, or forcing them to dig graves for Covid-19 victims, if they refuse to pay a fine or to do community service, such as cleaning public toilets and acting as a scarecrow under the hot sun for hours.

Some couples, who aren’t scared of coffining, are deliberately not wearing a face mask, so that they’d have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get intimate inside a fake coffin.

by Fasters September 15, 2020

Covidagon

What a layperson would call a 19-sided polygon or 19-gon rather than an enneadecagon or enneakaidecagon.

A corona math question for geeks: “Show that the interior angle in a regular covidagon is 161¹/₁₉°.”

by Fasters September 17, 2020

Covid-🎲

When bookmakers worldwide are ever changing the odds that President Trump would be re-elected, based on the good and bad news about him and his morally bankrupt administration, which make the headlines every day.

Thanks to Covid-🎲, with billions of bucks changing hands, tens of millionaires (and thousands of zeronaires) are expected to emerge come November 3.

by Fasters September 18, 2020

Covid-🦑

When traces of the coronavirus has been found on the packaging of imported squid, which prompted the authorities to alert anyone who has bought it to get themselves tested.

Although there is no evidence of the virus being spread by food or packaging, however, authorities in China are taking no chances with Covid-🦑 when they encourage everyone who has bought or eaten imported squid to go for a Covid test.

by Fasters September 21, 2020

Trump as House Speaker

When some morally bankrupt ultra-MAGA lawmakers are entertaining the idea to nominate their ex-Commander in Cheat as the next House Speaker (who doesn’t have to be an elected member of Congress) as days-long bitching, backstabbing, and infighting continue to plague the polarized GOP.

As his politically inept and serially corrupt yes-men and women can’t see eye to eye with the moderates, the Pinocchio-in-Chief is relishing at their far-fetched or idiotic proposal of “Trump as House Speaker.”

by Fasters October 21, 2023

The Wholly One

When the number one is conventionally chosen to represent the totality of something or a group of things, from which equal parts or subgroups, often known as fractions, result.

Like the holy one who receives special treatment even in nonreligious quarters, the wholly one is widely favored than other whole numbers (in spite of having multiple factors) even in nonmathematical circles.

by Fasters April 6, 2023

Hacking Heaven

When the laity would donate cash; cryptocurrencies and NFTs; prized items like gold, diamond, coins, stamps, and paintings; and properties, so that the clergy could intercede for them before God to have their sins and those of their loved ones forgiven—generous or ostentatious donations on a regular basis would only set in motion a bountiful reward on high, be it material or/and spiritual blessings.

To upgrade the status of deceased family members from hell to purgatory, or from purgatory to heaven, the “political messiah” is encouraging his ultra-MAGA patriots to go to his “anointed” or “Vatican-approved” website to buy indulgences or “get-out-of-hell tickets” for them, and also for their own future sins—he’s hacking heaven by resurrecting or normalizing the banned spiritual practice of the Church.

by Fasters April 8, 2023