Fasters's definitions

F***ing Pi

When no mathematical constant other than π has attracted so much envy or jealousy among fellow members in the Number Kingdom—when π continues to steal the show wherever she goes, because her sexy numerical and geometric properties have led legions of math geeks on their knees to worship her.

Love her or loathe her, even mathophohics can’t ignore the mesmerizing or magical beauty of f***ing pi, with some of them even able to experience an aha! when they let go of their off-irrational inhibitions, real or imaginary.

by Fasters December 24, 2021

Toilet Math

A math joke book you pick up in the bathroom to destress yourself every time you do your business, when your giggling or laughing could help cover up the sound of your relatively loud farting.

Fred likes to amuse his girlfriends with the toilet math jokes he still recalls, when he’s killing two birds with a stone.

by Fasters January 12, 2022

Pi Cemetery

When mathematical conjectures or hypotheses on the number π have finally been proved to be false—any hunches or doubts about them have now been put to rest.

In the last half-century, the piece of land initially allocated for pi cemetery has been enlarged a few times to welcome new dead members on its premises.

by Fasters November 4, 2022

Got Pi or Not?

The mathematical equivalent of “Got Milk or Not?” A question that is normally asked by Ah Beng’s and Ah Lian’s—Singapore’s and Malaysia’s young men and women, whose attires and antisocial behaviors make them look like some odds in a sea of evens—to check whether some math courses are worth attending, or some dear math titles are worth buying, especially if they contain an obscene number of challenging questions with few solutions.

With three-odd months left behind bars, Jack, whose ex-gang buddies had repeatedly encouraged him to turn over a new leaf, by attending night math classes, smsed them: “Got Pi or Not?”

by Fasters May 23, 2022

Lunar New Year

A new year term used by someone (who doesn’t approve of China’s internal politics and its foreign policy in bribing or bullying many poor or developing natural resources-rich countries) to their Chinese friends, foes, or fiends rather than using “Chinese New Year.”

If you want to be in the good books of the Chinese communists or nationalists, use “Chinese Lunar New Year,” not the arguably disrespectful “Lunar New Year” or the highly disparaging “Korean Lunar New Year” to infuriate them.

by Fasters January 29, 2023

Make Pi Greater Again

The push by white Christian nationalists in red-pilled states for their politicians to legislate the value of π to align with its biblical value of 3, as inferred from 1 Kings 7:23 and 2 Chronicles 4:2, in exchange for their “holy votes.”

Just as the Pinocchio-in-Chief wants to make America greater again, a bigly proportion of ultra-MAGA patriots, who support other Pharisaic presidential candidates, want to make pi greater again.

by Fasters May 17, 2023

Pi

The name a math geek, whose pet name is “Spider-man,” gave to his tarantula pet, who loves to show his illegally acquired exotic possession wherever he goes to impress and frighten his audience.

Pretty hairy Pi never fails to be the center of attention in public squares.

by Fasters February 10, 2022