Fasters's definitions

Catmas

When a cat owner’s Christmas wish is to be able to frequently cuddle their dear pet on their lap, as they don’t normally love to be picked up and carried or held on someone’s lap; or when an oft-stray cat’s wish list for Santa Claus is to sit on someone’s lap, and be loved and fed more frequently.

Rose’s catmas wish for 2022 is to have her British Shorthair cat willingly on her lap more often so that she’d pet or massage her on her favorite body parts.

by Fasters December 18, 2022

Piccinated

When someone has accidentally been jabbed with a dosage that is almost π times the recommended value.

An 80-year-old immunocompromised patient—who has been in ICU for over a week—was found to have been piccinated by a pro-Trump anti-vax nurse, who apparently misread the figures on the label.

by Fasters January 30, 2022

Rainbow Math Publishing

When math publishers pretend to be inclusive, by supporting LBGT students, teachers, and parents, when their motive is getting them to buy more of their oft-half-edited pricier titles.

Guesstimate how many gay and trans mathematicians and math educators are being taken for a ride by rainbow math publishing nationwide.

by Fasters January 28, 2022

Empithy

When you put yourself in the shoes of the irrational number π, by understanding and sharing her feelings, who has constantly been badmouthed or backstabbed by fellow numerical constants, who can’t stand her fame in both math and pop culture.

Out of envy or jealousy, irrationals like e, 𝜙, and √2 are notoriously known for their zero empithy.

by Fasters May 6, 2023

Covid-💩

When the number of toilet visits by millions of people on quarantine or lockdown surged exponentially, as many consumed more than what they needed, thus generating tonnes of extra shit.

Guesstimate how many tonnes of poo were produced during the April–June lockdowns due to Covid-💩 in most developed countries.

by Fasters October 25, 2020

St Paul’s Church, Mauritius

A Spirit-led Anglican church on the paradise island of the dodos that has punched above its spiritual weight—a multicultural community whose impact has touched many lives through its caring, healing, and deliverance ministries, and social outreach works like hospital and prison visitations and free tuition.

St Paul’s Church, Mauritius is like salt and light to many locals, who are often disillusioned and demoralized by decades-long corruption, communalism, and compromises plaguing the nation—it offers them hope, while reminding them that God is their Vindicator, who sees all the wrongs and injustices they face, and who can’t wait to shower them with His love and peace that the world cannot give nor understand.

by Fasters May 16, 2021

Post Truth

A politically correct phrase for “fake news” or “alternative facts”—a hypocrite’s or Pharisee’s word for “bullshit.”

Thanks to their Bullshitter-in-Chief, most morally bankrupt GOP members have been lying comatose on their bed of post truths even before the pandemic struck.

by Fasters May 20, 2022