37 definitions by Brucester
A Fart: A fart of specific audiophonic quality, a long melancholy sound with a gradual drop in tone identical to the howl of a wolf
It was a still moonlit night, my last meal contained raw onions, the dusty old house lay silent. Out of respect for partner I lay on my side pulled back the duvet, letting out
a spectacular 'bowel howl' the likes of which would inspire a novel by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
a spectacular 'bowel howl' the likes of which would inspire a novel by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
by Brucester September 10, 2006
A term you may have previously used in business to describe a cash bonus on appointment, not in this instance though!..........
The sudden deluge of warm sweet smelling regurgitated SMA Gold infant formula that runs down your neck and shoulders during 'burping' - usually followed by a smile. It's what you get for being lazy and trying to get the whole bottle down without 'burping' mid way.
The sudden deluge of warm sweet smelling regurgitated SMA Gold infant formula that runs down your neck and shoulders during 'burping' - usually followed by a smile. It's what you get for being lazy and trying to get the whole bottle down without 'burping' mid way.
by Brucester September 13, 2006
"Treasure" brought up from shipwrecks on the seabed by scuba divers.
For "Treasure" read - mainly bits of brass rubbish. For "Brought up" read - furiuosly chiseled off against the clock. For "Scuba Divers" read - thieving pikeys.
For "Seabed" read - murkey depths of cold water with visibility of two metres.
For Spidge there is a heirachy of value, disregard all gold, jewells and other fantasy land nonsense the real wreck treasure chart goes something like this:-
1= Ships bell
2= Telegraph / telemotor
3= Compass binnacle
4= Helm
5= Steam whistle
6= Nice brass Nav or deck lights
7= Portholes
8= Crockery & cutlery etc
Consolation prizes for the lower ranks of the air diving one tank numpty:-
Rubber soles from dead seamans shoes, unidentified piece of brass, crockery fragment, lead shot, hooked up fishing weights, pieces of diving equipment dropped by other novices.
All of the quality items have to be reported to the Receiver Of Wreck who finds out if you are allowed to keep the stuff. The remaining detritus is used to decorate your fireplace until you get married when the wife "accidentally" puts it out for the dustman.
For "Treasure" read - mainly bits of brass rubbish. For "Brought up" read - furiuosly chiseled off against the clock. For "Scuba Divers" read - thieving pikeys.
For "Seabed" read - murkey depths of cold water with visibility of two metres.
For Spidge there is a heirachy of value, disregard all gold, jewells and other fantasy land nonsense the real wreck treasure chart goes something like this:-
1= Ships bell
2= Telegraph / telemotor
3= Compass binnacle
4= Helm
5= Steam whistle
6= Nice brass Nav or deck lights
7= Portholes
8= Crockery & cutlery etc
Consolation prizes for the lower ranks of the air diving one tank numpty:-
Rubber soles from dead seamans shoes, unidentified piece of brass, crockery fragment, lead shot, hooked up fishing weights, pieces of diving equipment dropped by other novices.
All of the quality items have to be reported to the Receiver Of Wreck who finds out if you are allowed to keep the stuff. The remaining detritus is used to decorate your fireplace until you get married when the wife "accidentally" puts it out for the dustman.
"Dived the Lanfrac last weekend"
"Hur hur, find any gold"
"Er, yes actually! a solid bar of it, unfortunately it was a Leigh Bishop trip so in fact it had been placed there and was lead cast and sprayed gold to look like one"
"Hur hur - Fools Spidge!"
"Hur hur, find any gold"
"Er, yes actually! a solid bar of it, unfortunately it was a Leigh Bishop trip so in fact it had been placed there and was lead cast and sprayed gold to look like one"
"Hur hur - Fools Spidge!"
by Brucester June 27, 2007
'Pseudo Good' is an event that you feel good or happy about but only because it has deceived you into thinking it is good. The good was only a possibility - but it turned out to be nothing.
Pseudo Good is the opium of life, it keeps you positive, it usually does not amount to 'actual good' but by then you have forgotten how lame the Pseudo Good was and you happliy swallow the next load of Pseudo Good, just like a gold fish biting at nothing because its memory is too short to remember that nothing doesn't taste of anything.
Pseudo Good is the opium of life, it keeps you positive, it usually does not amount to 'actual good' but by then you have forgotten how lame the Pseudo Good was and you happliy swallow the next load of Pseudo Good, just like a gold fish biting at nothing because its memory is too short to remember that nothing doesn't taste of anything.
I'm so happy that x girl at college is starting to be friendly with me! - Six weeks later she blanks me because she only wanted to get a lift with me to classes. It was only Pseudo Good.
I'm so happy - the boss wants a meeting with me next week about the managers job - Turns out he just wanted me to cover the vacancy until someone more experienced replys to the job add. It was only Pseudo Good.
I'm so happy x company wants to buy our stuff, all my hard sales work has paid off!! - turns out that their previous supplier had put them on stop due to non payment because they have no money and now they are going bust owing us thousnads and we are probably going to go bust too. It was only Pseudo Good.
I'm so happy - I've just voted for a new government - (Insert outcome here)
I'm so happy - the boss wants a meeting with me next week about the managers job - Turns out he just wanted me to cover the vacancy until someone more experienced replys to the job add. It was only Pseudo Good.
I'm so happy x company wants to buy our stuff, all my hard sales work has paid off!! - turns out that their previous supplier had put them on stop due to non payment because they have no money and now they are going bust owing us thousnads and we are probably going to go bust too. It was only Pseudo Good.
I'm so happy - I've just voted for a new government - (Insert outcome here)
by Brucester May 11, 2011
A health professional who doesn't like NHS patients and treats them like second class citizens, then braggs about it to their staff.
"Aren't you going for a check up today?" "Nope I've suffered a right braggington, - I was struck off for answering back!"
by Brucester October 10, 2006
Unprofessional behaviour by domestic builders whereby during their lunch break they ALWAYS inspect the contents of the underwear drawer of an absent home owner especially if she is a real honey. Passing the items round they mentally picture her wearing them....I'm told...by numerous building acquaintances.
"Arrrrrrrrgh !!! You make sure you lock those fucking monkies out when you leave tomorrow"
"Why ????? They're doing great with the conservatory"
"BECAUSE David, they've held a fucking Builder's Inspection - that's why....I can tell"
"Why ????? They're doing great with the conservatory"
"BECAUSE David, they've held a fucking Builder's Inspection - that's why....I can tell"
by Brucester September 18, 2006
Pronounced 'idge' a suffix attached to almost any word. Invented in 1988. Whilst doing exhibition work we were asked to, "Go and put up the 'signage' to which we replied,
"And after that we are going to have some drinkage some clubbage and a bit of kebabage" Since then adding 'age' to the end of a word has spread impressively but now seems to be on the decline.
"And after that we are going to have some drinkage some clubbage and a bit of kebabage" Since then adding 'age' to the end of a word has spread impressively but now seems to be on the decline.
by Brucester September 10, 2006