11 definitions by Bottom Ford, Esq

Fringe binge

Watching “Fringe” for hours because the DVDs from Netflix are piling up.

“What movies did we get?”
“Prepare for a Fringe binge.”

by Bottom Ford, Esq November 7, 2010

potty animal

Someone for whom partying must include numerous, almost rhythmic bathroom breaks.

“You going to the can again, Bottom?”
“Don’t you know I’m a potty animal?”

by Bottom Ford, Esq December 28, 2011

ass wholeness

1. The state or trait of being an asshole.

2. Success in following one’s bliss to such a state.

We find that tattoos with violent themes indicate ass wholeness.

by Bottom Ford, Esq April 20, 2012

Byrned out

A state of burn-out suffered by the partners of David Byrne fans who think he’s funny for a couple of years but then only tolerate him out of love.

“If Bottom plays Little Creatures one more time I am going to get Byrned out.”

by Bottom Ford, Esq June 27, 2011

paragaffe

The social offense of wasting people’s time by blathering on for a whole paragraph when a short sentence would suffice.

“All I wanted to know was whether Bottom is still smoking. He wrote back a whole paragaffe about why it’s none of my business and smoking is not a problem for him.”

by Bottom Ford, Esq April 25, 2011

don't ask don't smell

Something you can say after expelling some noisome bodily gas, fluid or solid in the presence of others.

“Pee-yoo! Who did that?”
“Don't ask don't smell.”

by Bottom Ford, Esq December 25, 2010

caesarean haircut

1. A short hair style, with the hair combed forward (in some cases to disguise a receding hairline), effecting a resemblance to various busts or portraits of Caesar.

2. A surgical procedure that removes some of the baby’s hair during birth.

“Look! A caesarean haircut!”
“I did it myself with barber clippers.”

“That newborn looks unreasonably stylish.”
“He got a caesarean haircut.”

by Bottom Ford, Esq December 30, 2011