Alhadis's definitions

eBaum

The webmaster of eBaumsworld.com, arguebly the most shamelessly self-promoting site on the Internet. Has its fair share of funny material, all of which was scrounged around the Internet and has had the eBaumsworld logo crapped on it in some way, effectively shitting on the face of the content's real owner. Also infamous for false advertising; if eBaumsworld's promotes itself as hosting "clean humour and nothing pornographic", then I'd shudder at anything the webmaster might consider remotely "dirty".

Image banner: "This image is NOT the property of eBaumsworld's.com"
Surfer: "So why the flying fuck is this ugly banner stripped across it?! It's fucking the picture up!"
Answer: Because anybody linking to said image is actually promoting the site by anybody reading the domain name stripped across the violated picture. Brilliant strategy, eBaum.

by Alhadis December 9, 2004

Jamster

A ringtone company that is responsible for producing the most unbearably irritating commercials to have ever plagued television. Most hideously annoying of all is that sodding "frog" (which resembles a swollen tumour given eyes, a helmet, and tiny genetalia with a "Censored" tag crapped across it), whose high-pitched squealing, ridiculously annoying animations and general nature, all proves that Jamster is making their profits from a DELIBERATE attempt to drive people insane. So far, for many audiences, it's working.

Aside from that sodding amphibian that's become Jamster's most infamously irritating mascot, Jamster provide equally annoying ringtones, wallpapers and screensavers, many of which are crass, crappy, and/or lame, 4-5 frame animations. Anybody willing to waste money for something that was directly manifested out of pure hate, evil and a company's desire to further shove one more annoying commercial into the TV network's already over-bloated advertising market... need to be cleansed from the human gene pool.

Watcher #1: "Oh shits, not that fucking Jamster commercial! SHIT, where's the fucking remote?!"
Crazy Frog: *mimics a DJ whilst squeaking in pitched tones*
Watcher #1: "Ah, shit! I can't find it! Quick, do SOMETHING!"
Watcher #2: "AAAARRGGGGH!!" *hurls a baseball bat into the TV-screen*
Watcher #1: "That's the third fucking television Jamster's caused me to break. Fuck, I need to start keeping track of where the remote's kept."

by Alhadis May 27, 2005

Funny

1) Of or relating to the state of writing or behaviour that arouses amusement in others.
2) Strange, odd, or queer in a non-homosexually related fashion.
3) A trait that most contemporary comedy shows don't seem to possess.

1) "Your mother" is a generic response guaranteed to deliver amusement in response to any question, no matter how intellectual or complicated.
2) "Not funny ha-ha, funny queer, mmm-hmm." - Karl Childers, Sling Blade
3) "Futurama" is a comedy show that delivers the goods to the audience. "Everybody loves Raymond" doesn't, and few comedy shows these days are capable of producing quality humour in their audience.

by Alhadis July 25, 2008

Mutter

1) The act of murmuring, mumbling or otherwise verbalising one's speech at indistinct levels of volume (often when complaining silently, or "speaking under one's breath").
2) The German word for "mother" (see Mutti)
3) An album released by Rammstein in 2001, characterised by the cover's image of an unborn foetus (a depiction that some weak-stomached fans found slightly unnerving). The album is widely regarded as a Rammstein classic, heralding their most spectacular and illustrious works, such as Feuer Frei, Mutter, Mein Hertz Brennt, Speilhur, Sonne, Ich Will, and many others that make the album one of Rammstein's most hailed and incredible works (although most Rammstein fans, including myself, would argue that all of their albums are brilliant; but subjectivity has no place in this description).

1) My boss reprimanded me for arriving to work late, so I walked outta his office muttering profanities under my breath.
2) "Ich leibe meine mutter" (I love my mother, in what's hopefully correctly worded German)
3) "Keine Sonne die mir scheint, keine Brust hat Milch geweint in meiner Kehle steckt ein Schlauch. Hab keinen Nabel auf dem Bauch." ~ Lyrics from Rammstein's album, 'Mutter' (from the song under the same name)

by Alhadis July 28, 2008

PTSC

Short for "preteen softcore", an acronym commonly used on P2P networks (compare with "PTHC", similarly referring to "preteen hardcore".) Regardless of whatever some sick, twisted bastard might think, downloading and sharing Softcore child pornography is no less redeemable then Hardcore child porn. It's all the same sick, twisted shit that paedophiles give acronyms such as these to in order to avoid having their disturbed shit filtered out by the standard filename keywords (e.g., "celeb", "amateur", "80-year old paedophile’s who should've been put down at birth, etc)

Limewire user: *searches for Simpsons episodes*
Limewire: *lists several various entries displaying "REAL PTSC"!!
User: "PTSC? What the hell does that stand for? I guess it must be Simpsons-related, as it *did* show up in my search."
*downloads and looks, only to be horrified by the sick shit displayed onscreen*
User: "AAARGGH!! Pffgh, what the f-...?!" *is both disgusted, horrified and worried he could be charged for possession of Child Pornography*

by Alhadis October 24, 2005

Nightwish

A heavy metal band from Finland, and easily one of the goddamned best to have graced the music world. Combining talent, awesome lyrics and kick-ass music into one mind-blowing whole, nobody can play gothic metal like Nightwish can. They don't posturate their music in an over-the-top, "we're evil goths and we love it" attitude that many other metal bands seem to (*cough* Marilyn Manson *cough*), and the Heavy Metal world just wouldn't be complete without them.

Nightwish... Underrated personifications of Melodic metal. It's difficult to praise 'em too much... they flat out kick ass. What's Metallica doing at the top of the charts, anyway?

by Alhadis November 24, 2004

Roosterteeth

True veterans of the machinima field, Roosterteeth are the creative geniuses who created the fularious web-series Red VS Blue (based off the Halo series), as well as Strangerhood (based off the Sims). Unlike many fan-based creations, Roosterteeth haven't shown any signs of slowing down over the years; to this day, they continue to roll out hilarious comedy that gives them their well-deserved reputation for being comedy geniuses. They're also credited for producing the brief P.A.N.I.C.S series ("People Acting Normal in Crazyass Situations"), for the F.E.A.R game; and while PANICS was only brief, it did deliver a good laugh. However, Roosterteeth have forever remained most famous for their work in Red VS Blue, which continues to be widely regarded as one of the funniest things on the Internet.

Church (Red VS Blue): "Tucker, there's a very fine line between not listening and not caring. I like to think I walk that line everyday of my life."

Check out their work at http://www.roosterteeth.com.

by Alhadis July 26, 2008