AKACroatalin's definitions

Kweef

To release gas through the penis. WARNING – This may indicate a potentially life threatening medical condition. A person suffering from this may have a fistula, you can read up on this on the internet, but this case it means that there is a hole between the prostate and rectum. You must get treatment for this, see your doctor. If there is any faecal discharge go to A & E or the Emergency Room at your nearest hospital immediately do put this off about your life may be in danger.

Charlie used to kweef a lot and ended up in hospital on life support because he didn’t have the sense to see his doctor.

by AKACroatalin April 22, 2015

Fart Fact 12

Believe it or not your arse can tell whether you are going to fart or crimp off a length! The nerves in your rectum can tell whether it’s gas or solids on the move so if you need to let it go, let it go. There is, however, one exception; when you have a case of the runs, Kansas Quickstep if you prefer, and your crap is more liquid, the nerve endings can become confused which can result in a follow through.

“I know Fart Fact 12 says it’s not possible, but when Malcolm farts, it always smells like he he’s crapped himself.”

by AKACroatalin October 31, 2019

Bows Under

English expression meaning to have more work that you can possibly deal with. It originated with the Royal Navy and referred to those times when a ship was caught in a severe storm or hurricane. This would require the crew member to work continuously, often for extended periods with little rest, to ensure the safety of the ship. During this time the ship would have green seas coming over the bows so that it appeared as if the bows were under water. When telling of the experience once they were back on shore, the sailors would refer to the ship as being 'bows under' and gradually the expression became associated with the excessive workload incurred at the time as well, so that having an excessive workload requiring continuous application to clear became known as being 'bows under'.

The expression came to be used within the Royal Dockyards to denote times when excessive workloads were experienced. One notable occasion being 1982 when, in response to the Argentine invasion of the Falkland Islands, the Royal Dockyards fitted out ships taken up from trade for Naval service in less than six weeks, Commercial shipbuilders said that this would take more than six months for each vessel, but by carrying out the work in less than a quarter of the time quoted by commercial shipbuilders the Royal Dockyards were 'bows under'.

"This is the first weekend off I've had in six weeks! We've been bows under!"

by AKACroatalin March 18, 2015

Betrump

An interesting word, but possibly nothing to do with Donald Trump; it means to beguile, deceive, cheat, elude or slip away from.

Donald does betrump quite frequently.

by AKACroatalin March 7, 2019

Nemophilia

Nemophilia is the love of spending time in forests or woodland, particularly at night; going camping in woodland could probably be considered to be the equivalent of sex, possibly this is what John Denver meant when he wrote Annie’s Song. It does, however, make you wonder what woodland survival training, as practised by the armed forces, would equate to.

No Malcolm, people who practise Nemophilia should not be arrested and jailed.

by AKACroatalin December 30, 2016

Fart Fact 14

This is the very last one in the series but every single one of them is true! This one tells you that farting isn't rude or disgusting. It may seem that way because they usually smell bad, but it's just something a healthy human body does, a normal by-product of your body digesting food, so if you need to let one go, do it and if anyone objects fuck ‘em.

“Mikey let rip in class, teacher called him on it, so he explained fart Fact 14 to her and suggested if she was worried she should see her doctor. I nearly bust a gut trying not to laugh.”

by AKACroatalin November 3, 2019

Socially Concerned

Ostensibly it means caring about society. Being concerned about the things that are wrong with society such as increasing violent crime, an increasingly stressed health service, the marginalisation of the disadvantaged members of society, the list is pretty much endless; those who are truly socially concerned then try to do something about it. Unfortunately as in the case of the chattering classes the socially concerned individuals only pay lip-service to whatever cause is fashionable and they do sfa.

Most so-called socially concerned just talk about the latest fashionable cause, they don’t actually do anything to help.

by AKACroatalin May 26, 2015