AKACroatalin's definitions

Spite Monkey Sunday

Spite Monkey Sunday is that day of the week when all the brain dead little losers try to get definitions accepted by Urban Dictionary. They try to get a flattering definition accepted, of themselves if they haven't got any friends, or of some female if they think it will help them get into her knickers. Why? Usually because they’re back at school on Monday and are trying to make themselves look good, the poor little winkies. Then the unthinkable happens, they’re definition is rejected because it doesn’t conform to the rules laid down by Urban Dictionary. Oh Calamity! So the silly little wank biscuits throw a hissy fit, go into a session to vote on the inclusion of new words and reject everything without bothering to read it. Then comes Monday and these sad little gleets go back to school and bother the human race somewhat less than they do at weekends.

“Couldn’t get a thing accepted on Urban Dictionary, it was Spite Monkey Sunday.”

by AKACroatalin April 27, 2015

Fine

English word meaning 'in good health'. Believed to originate from the French 'fin' which besides meaning finished also means complete or whole. It is from whole that we get the word 'hale' meaning healthy. Despite the attempts of speakers on motivational courses to suggest that it is an acronym standing for 'Fucked-up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional' it is a valid word, with a considerable pedigree, to be used as the answer to the question 'How are you?'

"You know that teambuilding course I went on, silly bitch running asked me how I was, and when I said fine, looked down her nose at me and said' fine stands for Fed-up, Insecure, Emotional and Neurotic' and I should say good."
"What did you say?"
"I asked her if she was good and when she said yes looked down my nose at her and told her 'good stands for Gormless, Overbearing, Over opinionated, and Depressing' and she should say 'fine'. I got a round of applause and she didn't like that at all."

by AKACroatalin March 16, 2015

OIC

This was a term that originated within the British Army, probably in the nineteenth century, to describe an unpleasant, ignorant, useless person. Although now usually spelled oik, the original spelling was an acronym standing for Obnoxious Ignorant Cunt except when applied to junior officers (ruperts) when it became Obnoxious Idiotic Cunt.

“They’ve put Malcolm in charge of the team-building weekend!”
“That OIC! Fuck it, I ain’t going! It’ll just be another chance for that fat fuck to kiss up kick down.”

by AKACroatalin August 14, 2016

Uzzard

An old English name for the letter Z (zed), it can also be used as a synonym for last.

If you have any five-year-old children get them to tell their teacher that the last letter of the alphabet is uzzard.

by AKACroatalin April 13, 2015

Browmance

Latest bullshit offering from septic firm Maybelline, makeup for eyebrows. Specifically intended for silly bitches suffering from acute princess syndrome leaving them with something over their eyes that looks like cross between a rat’s turd and a dead caterpillar.

“Have you seen Maggy’s eyebrows? She’s got more hair there than a gorilla’s armpit!”
“Maybelline browmance.”

by AKACroatalin May 22, 2017

Tiger Woman

The name tiger woman refers to a predatory female who is sexually active. She is not necessarily a nymphomaniac, but is certainly hypersexual so that when she sees a male she wants she is single-minded in her pursuit. She has certain characteristics of a tiger as she is usually solitary with few female friends, also like the tiger she can be vindictive and vicious if denied her prey. When she gets a man into her bed she displays a huge capacity for sex and is extremely enthusiastic in her application. She was celebrated in the 1969 song, by British band The Move “Wild Tiger Woman”.

Look! She hasn’t taken her eyes off him for the past hour!
Yeah, the tiger woman staking her prey.

by AKACroatalin March 6, 2019

Gets up my nose

An expression of annoyance or disgust from the South West of England, and can be applied to just about anything from physical objects and people to ideas and opinions. It originated quite literally from something getting into the nasal passages and causing pain, irritation and aggravation. From there its use expanded to cover just about anything that causes annoyance, exasperation or discomfort. It is now used widely throughout the UK.

That twat Malcolm really gets up my nose.

by AKACroatalin June 22, 2015