AKACroatalin's definitions

Kweef

To release gas through the penis. WARNING – This may indicate a potentially life threatening medical condition. A person suffering from this may have a fistula, you can read up on this on the internet, but this case it means that there is a hole between the prostate and rectum. You must get treatment for this, see your doctor. If there is any faecal discharge go to A & E or the Emergency Room at your nearest hospital immediately do put this off about your life may be in danger.

Charlie used to kweef a lot and ended up in hospital on life support because he didn’t have the sense to see his doctor.

by AKACroatalin April 22, 2015

Fart Fact 14

This is the very last one in the series but every single one of them is true! This one tells you that farting isn't rude or disgusting. It may seem that way because they usually smell bad, but it's just something a healthy human body does, a normal by-product of your body digesting food, so if you need to let one go, do it and if anyone objects fuck ‘em.

“Mikey let rip in class, teacher called him on it, so he explained fart Fact 14 to her and suggested if she was worried she should see her doctor. I nearly bust a gut trying not to laugh.”

by AKACroatalin November 3, 2019

Nemophilia

Nemophilia is the love of spending time in forests or woodland, particularly at night; going camping in woodland could probably be considered to be the equivalent of sex, possibly this is what John Denver meant when he wrote Annie’s Song. It does, however, make you wonder what woodland survival training, as practised by the armed forces, would equate to.

No Malcolm, people who practise Nemophilia should not be arrested and jailed.

by AKACroatalin December 30, 2016

Betrump

An interesting word, but possibly nothing to do with Donald Trump; it means to beguile, deceive, cheat, elude or slip away from.

Donald does betrump quite frequently.

by AKACroatalin March 7, 2019

Monkey Fucking

Adjective used to refer to a person usually male who will have sex with any woman. Someone who is so indiscriminate that they would fuck a female monkey. Eventually its use was broadened so that it became used to describe anyone whose habits are unpleasant, unsavoury or just plain weird.

"Malcolm, you are, without doubt, the most useless cunt eyed, shit-licking, monkey fucking, piss-brained, ass kissing, fuck witted WOSP in the world!"

by AKACroatalin March 28, 2015

Counterproductive Workplace Behaviour

This is behaviour on the part of an employee or employees that works against the legitimate interests of the organisation that employs them or indeed their own interests. This sort of behaviour is detrimental to the organisation, its employees, clients and customers. It is believed that persons with a tendency to experience anger are more likely to respond to a stressful situation, such as being treated unfairly with counterproductive workplace behaviour.

When the supervisor blamed Charlie for his own mistake, Charlie deliberately jammed all three photocopiers in a fit of counterproductive workplace behaviour.

by AKACroatalin June 11, 2015

Absolute Poo

A British expression, it’s used to describe something that is no good, rubbish or of poor quality. It’s a rather more polite way of saying totally shit.

“How did your interview go?”
“Absolute Poo!”

by AKACroatalin August 1, 2015