1 definition by -ANON379-
The people that every child hates, whether they say so or not. The only ways of escaping them include dying, turning 18 and buying a house, or simply running away. The last one is not reccommened.
-CHARACTER TRAITS & HABITS:-
• They think that they know everything about you, including your food, music, movie, personality, and sexual preference. Once again, they're always right, even when you're obviously nothing like what they say.
• They believe that they reserve the right to automatically win any arguement of their choosing. When the far greater majority believes the oppsosite of what they say, but is comprised if children, the parent/s can automatically win and end the argument by saying "ENOUGH!" or "too bad", and nothing else can be said about it without serious risk of getting grounded or being ranted at/dismembered. This goes for anything else they say as well.
• They will often embarass you in front of your friends. The parent/s will often claim that they "forgot" or they "won't do it again", despite the fact that even they know that that isn't true. Every person has at least one story of this.
• Nearly every father will attempt to crack a wisey/pun/obviously crappy joke to your friends. Said friends will either pretend to laugh and then secretly shun you, or just drop you and not hang out with you.
-CHARACTER TRAITS & HABITS:-
• They think that they know everything about you, including your food, music, movie, personality, and sexual preference. Once again, they're always right, even when you're obviously nothing like what they say.
• They believe that they reserve the right to automatically win any arguement of their choosing. When the far greater majority believes the oppsosite of what they say, but is comprised if children, the parent/s can automatically win and end the argument by saying "ENOUGH!" or "too bad", and nothing else can be said about it without serious risk of getting grounded or being ranted at/dismembered. This goes for anything else they say as well.
• They will often embarass you in front of your friends. The parent/s will often claim that they "forgot" or they "won't do it again", despite the fact that even they know that that isn't true. Every person has at least one story of this.
• Nearly every father will attempt to crack a wisey/pun/obviously crappy joke to your friends. Said friends will either pretend to laugh and then secretly shun you, or just drop you and not hang out with you.
-Parents: Hey son! You know that 2+2=5?
-Child: Actually, we all know that it's 4...
-Parent: *swears under their breath* AHA, but I was just testing you!
-Parent: Come on son, let's go to the P!NK festival!
-Child: *honestly* AWW DAD, I hate P!NK! You take me every year and I never enjoy myself!
-Parent: Yes you do, you just haven't given it a chance. Now shut up.
-Child: Dad, can I go to the party and play HALO?
-Parent: No you can't! Those things are bad for every part of you! You are never going to a party! EVER!
-Child: But dad-!
-Parent: SHUT UP KID OR YOU'RE GROUNDED!
-Child: Now don't say anything, just drop me off at school.
-Mother: Sure thing darling.
*2 MINUTES LATER*
-Mother: Now don't forget darling, we're going tampon shopping on the weekend, and you can get that pink fluffy SESAME STREET one you've been gasbagging about! I love you honey-poo!
-Friend: Ms. Smith, can I have an ice cream?
-Mother: Sure thing, kid!
-Child: Mother, may I have an ice cream, please?
-Mother: NO, YOU'RE GROUNDED, REMEMBER? GO AWAY!
-Child, thinking: Man I hop dad doesn't show off his legendary humour skills...
-Father: HEY KIDS! Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!! *cracks up* Man I'm hilarious! Eh, kids?
-Friends: No, we're gonna beat up your child which we used to be friends with now.
-Child: Actually, we all know that it's 4...
-Parent: *swears under their breath* AHA, but I was just testing you!
-Parent: Come on son, let's go to the P!NK festival!
-Child: *honestly* AWW DAD, I hate P!NK! You take me every year and I never enjoy myself!
-Parent: Yes you do, you just haven't given it a chance. Now shut up.
-Child: Dad, can I go to the party and play HALO?
-Parent: No you can't! Those things are bad for every part of you! You are never going to a party! EVER!
-Child: But dad-!
-Parent: SHUT UP KID OR YOU'RE GROUNDED!
-Child: Now don't say anything, just drop me off at school.
-Mother: Sure thing darling.
*2 MINUTES LATER*
-Mother: Now don't forget darling, we're going tampon shopping on the weekend, and you can get that pink fluffy SESAME STREET one you've been gasbagging about! I love you honey-poo!
-Friend: Ms. Smith, can I have an ice cream?
-Mother: Sure thing, kid!
-Child: Mother, may I have an ice cream, please?
-Mother: NO, YOU'RE GROUNDED, REMEMBER? GO AWAY!
-Child, thinking: Man I hop dad doesn't show off his legendary humour skills...
-Father: HEY KIDS! Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!! *cracks up* Man I'm hilarious! Eh, kids?
-Friends: No, we're gonna beat up your child which we used to be friends with now.
by -ANON379- June 25, 2011