iPad

Apple's revolutionary new sanitary napkin device for females. The iPad senses when it's that time of the month and automatically sends a message to a pre-programmed phone number, letting your man know that he's not getting sex tonight. Sensors tuned in to your brainwaves can accurately forecast your mood up to 12 hours in advance, automatically queueing up The Notebook in your Netflix video on demand while simultaneously ordering chocolate to be delivered to your front door.

Forget tampons. Try the iPad today!

Andre: ...it was seriously the biggest fish I have ever caught dude - hang on I got a text. Oh fuck.

Tim: What's going on today?

Andre: I just got a message from my wife's iPad. It's forecasting her mood as "Nazi bitch".

Tim: Dude, I would not want to be you.

Andre: Yeah, can I spend the night on your couch?

by Slartibartfast11 February 2, 2010

iPad

An iPod on steroids

The iPad doesn't fit in my pocket. It's too big.

That's what she said.

by icegu January 28, 2010

iPad

n. thin, lightweight device for managing iFlow during iPeriods

So much *data*! Good thing I've got my iPad to keep it from leaking into my iPanties!

by the_old_islander January 28, 2010

iPad

A sanitary pad that contains an embedded MP3 player.

Ann Coulter loved it when her time of the month came around and she could listen to tunes on her iPad.

by Cuntoleezza Rice October 23, 2009

iPad

A piece of technology from Apple Inc. that's less functional than a laptop and less portable than an iPhone. Lacking any features that aren't already done better by other devices such as the Amazon Kindle, the iPad is considered the best way to waste $499 in 2010!

I would have bought an iPad, but I have an IQ of more than 60 and don't drool over a piece of technology just because Apple says it's good.

by daj198 January 28, 2010

iPad

A general term for something that is expected to be great, but turns out to be terrible.

'I really thought last night would be an awesome night out, but it was such an iPad'

'We broke up after she told me I was nothing but an iPad'

'The iPad announcement was a huge iPad'

by jc_Sed8d March 1, 2010

iPad

Apple's giant iPod Touch.

Announced January 27, 2010. Made with intentions to replace laptops but fails by not running Flash, not having USB ports, no multitasking and no cameras.

My iPod Touch was getting old. I'm glad I have a new, bigger one that doesn't fit in my pocket. Thanks, iPad!

by Clifwith1f January 28, 2010