Two Fucks

A crueler and more epic way of saying that you don't care about something.
Friend 1: Hey, do you wanna hear about what happened on Family Guy last night?

Friend 2: No Sean, I couldn't give Two Fucks about what you heard on that retarded show. -_-
by LoneWolf6 June 22, 2011
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Two fucks

The minimum amount of fucks required to necessitate action.
"Are you gonna vote for class president?"
"No, I don't give two fucks about that shit."
"Do you at least give one fuck? "
"Yes."
by Turd Flinger November 08, 2013
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half of two fucks

I know what you're thinking. Half of 2 equals 1. Not in this case. Half of 2, in this case means more, and also less, than 1 fuck.

Not to be confused with '2 fucks', 'a fuck', 'a shit', 'half a shit', 'zero fucks' and/or any other denomination or measurement of fucks and/or shits.
Guy 1: wanna know what I think?

Guy 2: I don't give half of two fucks what you think.
by benjaminblanco April 18, 2021
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I don't give two fucks

Used to put more emphasis that you don't care.
Dan: you know mom will be mad if we're late for dinner but I don't give a fuck
Tom: Well, I don't give two fucks, she makes crappy meatloaf anyway
by J'adore UD May 20, 2010
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two bag fuck

When someone with a nice body but is so ugly that you need two bags before you would have sex with them.

One on her face and one on your own just in case hers falls off.
"Gee wizz! Jessica sure does have a nice body" -Guy 1
"Quite the two bag fuck, my good sir." - Guy 2
by rfair July 02, 2009
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two buck fucked

The act of getting drunk on the utra cheap, always delicious Charles Shaw wines, popularized by Trader Joes.
Anna: What are you thinming about doing tonight.

Rob: I don't know. I was kind of thinking about getting two buck fucked, how 'bout you?
by m.c. phatback October 03, 2011
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two turtles fucking

Usually reserved for jobs or activities that require hardhats. "Two turles fucking" is when a person takes off his/her hardhat and swiftly brings it down on top of another's hardhat still on other's head. It doesn't hurt like being cracked in the head, but it stings a bit and jars one's brain.
Worker: "Hey, ever heard two turtles fucking?"

New Guy: "No, what do they sound like?"

(Worker executes "two turtles fucking)

New Guy: "Owwww!"
by Pork King October 14, 2005
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