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Felon

I'm not a felon. You can't just decide that I'm a felon. But I CAN JUST DECIDE TO STAB THE NEXT KID I GET WITHIN ARMS REACH OF. If you are a liberal then you want to take the guns away from everyone, but you can, so you are settling for taking them away one at a time. You are the reason this is not a democracy. If you are a conservative then shitting out a kid gives you superordinate rights over the people around you and THIS IS A DELUSION. Your rights are the same as everyone else and your kids don't matter more than everyone else and they never will. The price of you trying to take out your child murder anxiety on me is going to me death.
Hym "I'm not a felon and if I am than so is the guy who possess more than 2.4 grams of Marijuana. You don't give a fuck about the law Jamhal. You're just covering your own ass as it relates to a cooperative violation of my rights. Full rights or child murder."
by Hym Iam August 5, 2024
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Felonitis

What someone may "catch" upon hearing they're on the receiving end of a felony charge. Symptoms may include extreme emotional distress, psychogenic pain, and rowdiness.
James: "You wouldn't believe how he reacted upon hearing the charges; he started yelling, crying, and even complaining that his entire body started to hurt!"
Dan: "Sounds like a bad case of felonitis."
by Smelvin Assman June 6, 2023
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federal felon shuffle

The walking gait made by a prisoner when their ankles are restrained by the standard 16-inch chain.
I enjoy watching convicted prisoners performing the federal felon shuffle on their way to jail.
by n4zhg January 4, 2019
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Watermelon felon

When a person acts out of their character to impress others and appear bad ass or have bad ass like qualities, Hence the meaning of the fruit a watermelon referring to guys who act as if they are the hulk, a one man army, or unstoppable.
I.E (In explanation)
A watermelon being green on the outside (a foolish rookie, in-experienced,fake,attention seeking) and but not hardened or tough and soft&pink inside..like a vagina.
Fake tough guy AKA soon to be prison bitch.
Joey is a fuckin watermelon felon...dude tries to play so bad ass but isn't impressing anyone..i bet if he goes to prison he would get turned into a prag ASAP.

Dude chill the hell out, they can see how green you are you're not a badass i won't continue to hang out with you if you keep up the act when they expose you for how pink you are i don't want to be affiliated with the likes of you.
by Azuroh June 2, 2013
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Felon's Tree Removal

A tree trimming service from Chazy NY who hires felons - preferably registered sex offenders - to trim your bushes and peep in your windows.
Felon's Tree Removal does a great job as long as you don't mind rapists and murders peeping in your windows and casing the joint.
by Read it! July 14, 2025
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Felons Tree Removal

An arborist company that hires felons to come to your house and trim your bushes. They charge extra to cut trees but will trim your bush for free.
Becky "I was going to hire Felons Tree Removal to trim the trees at my house. You think they're any good?"
Lateesha "Bitch, I don need no felons trimin' my bush!"
by SuperWordNerd July 10, 2025
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Felon Day

Can't wait to celebrate national felon day with the homies 🙏🏼
by H34D G4N6 September 30, 2023
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