Verb: Meaning to open up a serious can of "whoop ass" on a person or group of people in such a way that it is quite clear which of the parties involved got his or her ass kicked.
by TscribeBoston December 21, 2006
Not to be confused with the primetime superhero, a "jack bauer" is probably the opposite of the man named Jack Bauer. The term originates from the term "bauer", which is a combination of the words beer and shower. In other words, a bauer is when you drink a beer while showering. To make it a "jack bauer", one must "jack it", or masturbate, while drinking a beer in the shower.
"Hey man, you wanna head out to that party now?"
"Yeah, let me just take a "jack bauer" first."
"Oh good call bro, I was gonna go do the same. But in my own shower. Why are you still putting quotes around jack bauer in this example conversation by the way?"
"Urban Dictionary made me do it. Also, I just got this thing that my laptop can sit on in the shower, so now I can watch internet porn during my jack bauers. Best jack bauers ever."
"This is an obnoxiously long conversation about a ridiculous topic."
"Ridiculously awesome."
"Word."
"Yeah, let me just take a "jack bauer" first."
"Oh good call bro, I was gonna go do the same. But in my own shower. Why are you still putting quotes around jack bauer in this example conversation by the way?"
"Urban Dictionary made me do it. Also, I just got this thing that my laptop can sit on in the shower, so now I can watch internet porn during my jack bauers. Best jack bauers ever."
"This is an obnoxiously long conversation about a ridiculous topic."
"Ridiculously awesome."
"Word."
by doittoit88 January 30, 2009
Jack Bauer: *Strangles terrorist* WHERE IS THE FUCKING BASE? DAMIIT YOU ARE OUT OF TIME!!
Terrorist: *gargles and struggles for breath* mmmmpphhh...mmmmph...
Jack Bauer: *Shoots terrorist in kneecap*
Terrorist: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
Terrorist: *gargles and struggles for breath* mmmmpphhh...mmmmph...
Jack Bauer: *Shoots terrorist in kneecap*
Terrorist: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
by Nathaniel Reebus October 17, 2007
by Tha S-Man September 20, 2006
Jack Bauer- I found the orphans! *end call*
President- ok i will.....i hate it when he does that. it should be named after him or something. Like getting Jack Bauered.
President- ok i will.....i hate it when he does that. it should be named after him or something. Like getting Jack Bauered.
by The final 4th April 6, 2011
Improvising personal hygiene solutions when not having the time or means to take a real shower. For a true Jack Bauer Shower, one has to use Lysol antibacterial wipes on one's nether regions. The pain means it's working.
Dude1:"Dude, you stink like shit dipped in vinegar and your interview is in 10 minutes!!!"
Dude2: "Time for a Jack Bauer Shower!!"
Reporter: "You've been lost in the woods for 2 weeks! How did you stay so fresh?!"
Jack Bauer: "I'm Jack Bauer."
Dude2: "Time for a Jack Bauer Shower!!"
Reporter: "You've been lost in the woods for 2 weeks! How did you stay so fresh?!"
Jack Bauer: "I'm Jack Bauer."
by MathKills February 11, 2009
n.
1. A day dedicated to watching a full season of 24, as if you're actually watching the show in real time. Some may start watching at the same time that the episode starts; this however is optional.
2. A very intense day, usually filled with unusually dramatic and perilous moments, somewhat similar to a day in the life of Jack Bauer.
1. A day dedicated to watching a full season of 24, as if you're actually watching the show in real time. Some may start watching at the same time that the episode starts; this however is optional.
2. A very intense day, usually filled with unusually dramatic and perilous moments, somewhat similar to a day in the life of Jack Bauer.
David: Man, are you comin' into work today?
Tony: Nah bro, I just picked up Season 5, I'm havin myself a Jack Bauer Day.
Chloe: Jeez Ed, what happened to you today?
Ed: You would not believe it, i got in a car accident, was fired from my job and then pushed out of a bus! What a Jack Bauer Day!
Tony: Nah bro, I just picked up Season 5, I'm havin myself a Jack Bauer Day.
Chloe: Jeez Ed, what happened to you today?
Ed: You would not believe it, i got in a car accident, was fired from my job and then pushed out of a bus! What a Jack Bauer Day!
by thediddler April 4, 2009