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Detective "Four Hoes" 

the guy who points out the obvious that everybody seems to miss at the moment. you can summon him by laying down a pack of cigarretes and a freshly polished Monster Energy Drink. leave the rest to him.
Guy1: Dude, where the fuck is Andrew? I can't seem to find him.
Detective "Four Hoes" : He shoots heroin in the kitchen. *Points to the kitchen door*
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ludicrous tomfoolery or delectable sweets? 

This is what British mfs named "Sir Bumble Nockntooten IV" expect you to say on Halloween rather than, "Trick or treat?"
The story of Sir Bumble Nockentooten IV's expectation for children to say "ludicrous tomfoolery or delectable sweets?"

Me: *Knocks on Sir Bumble Nockentooten IV's door*
Sir Bumble Nockentooten IV: *Opens door*
Me: "Trick or treat?!"
Sir Bumble Nockentooten IV: *Closes door in anger and pure frustration and starts to cry*

Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory

www. youtube.com/ watch?v=KzePgXk6934
Not content with doing nothing and enjoying their win, the enemy team has instead chosen to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory - Phrase, common usage. Doing something stupid causing your team to lose when all you had to do was nothing.

Urban Deject 

Word or Phrase that is so profane, racist, or graphic that even Urban Dictionary refuses to publish it. Something that overly offends an Urban Dictionary editor, which is hard to do.
Yo, Shaniqwa, you think Urban Dictionary 'll publish this here word: nigezbopussyooze?

No, Kuzabia, that ugly word gonna get Urban Dejected, you know how those people is.
Urban Deject by Ricardovitz July 29, 2012

anti-defecation league 

An organization dedicated to protecting non-terrorists who find themselves on government shit-lists.
Now that I have unfairly been added to a gubmint shit-list, the only place I can look for help from is the Anti-Defecation League.

emo detective 

emo detective with emo detective hat

don’t kill anymore of his friends
Person 1: oh look there’s shoe itchy
Person 2: yeah he’s an emo detective
emo detective by tenkochabashira February 8, 2021

Detective John Kimble 

This is the identity Arnold went by in the movie Kindergarten Cop.
"It's not a tuma!"