Dood: WASSUP BROTHA
Short frend: WASSUP
Dood: YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS?
Short frend: no?
Dood: Well, brotha. It is: Bully your shortest frend day!
Short frend: Dang it.
Do you have a friend that likes, wait no, LOVES pickles? If you do, do you want to slap them? Yes? I thought so.
That’s why, on the penultimate Tuesday of March, SLAP THEM. Why? BECAUSE IT’S NATIONAL SLAP YOUR PICKLE FRIEND DAY!
Pickle friend: Owwww! What was that for?!
You: It was for liking pickles so much! It’s national “Slap your pickle friend day” today! And you can’t get me back! Eveerrr. Bye bye!
Pickle friend: Yeh, I get that, but it still REALLY HURTS.
You: What can I say, I’m strong!