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hairy shitfit

The act of freaking out. Its a shitfit but a bit worse because its more of a hairy situation that can't be controlled.
Oh god she's drunk again and having a hairy shitfit. God help us all.
by jimmybomm August 9, 2020
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Hairy needles

Hairy needles is when your pubic hair gets caught in the foreskin of your penis causing your '3 millimeter defeater' to be in a state of uncomfortable cock torture.

Usually a sign that you should shave your pubes.
Homie1: Bro, is anyone coming, i need to sort out my 'hairy needles'

Homie2: your good feller, ill tell you if anyone's coming

Homie3: i hate 'hairy needles', its super uncomfortable.
by xXFurryNazi69420Xx October 28, 2021
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The Hairy Knuckle Werther's

When you look alarmingly like an angry, ocularly-challenged, German Shepherd owning bull dyke, and always keep a button in your pocket due to the incessant issue of having to close the rear holes in your pants after you "HAD to stop at THAT out of service, poorly-lit wayside" for HOURS, you're probably familiar with The Hairy Knuckle Werthers:

This is when your favorite boy-crush takes a plaster mold of the hand of the angriest, most extravagantly endowed gorilla at the zoo, and proceeds to fill it with liquified Werther's candy.

Upon hardening (of the candy), your boy crush thrusts the giant black hand-fist into your spelunking tunnel (Most of the other people at The Hardee's Play place pretend not to notice).

Upon germination, you grant your boy crush with a button you've kept in your pocket for years. Quietly exclaiming, "That was better than the time I walked Lassie"
Once Rock Day was done, the spastic guy Tom is all side and told us when Gary got "The Hairy Knuckle Werther's"
by Sweaty Shirt Changer June 21, 2023
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Hairy Saddle

Facial hair being present, usually of the beard or goatee fashion, on males during SOMFing.
"She was riding the hairy saddle lastnight."

"Ride my hairy saddle you cowgirl bitch!!!"

"I rode his hairy saddle all morning"
by Unrustled1 April 1, 2013
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Hairy Noogie

Like a normal noogie, but the main goal is to mess up the victim's hair. The technique may be closer to a dutchrub as you want to use your whole hand, not just your knuckles.

Tips:
Flatten out your hand and let your fingers fly.
It does not have to be long, just destructive.
Best victims are those with neat, medium-length hair.
Bridger cares so much about his hair, so I'm going to give me a Hairy Noogie and mess it all up.
by WedgieLoser September 3, 2025
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Come see my hairy armpits

I planted seeds under my HAIRY ARMPITS! My HAIRY ARMPITS have sweat water and grow in the sun. Avocado plants form and I automatically grow avocados through my HAIRY ARMPITS!
Come see my hairy armpits. I squeeze sweat from my armpits into my mountain dew. Then I dip triple cheese doritos in the sweaty mtn dew and eat like a pig. Oh the triple cheese doritos have bacon products in them. I am now a pig and cannibal. Oh crap. Oh *******************************************!
by Flaming Gaming June 14, 2022
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Hairy Hat-trick

When a male has a piss, whilst scratching his balls and blowing his nose at the same time.
I’m so manly, I can complete a “Hairy Hat- trick” without pissing on the floor. Hairy Hat-trick
by anonymous June 30, 2023
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