skid mark vz's definitions

one five three rule

Unspoken but widely understood rule regarding selecting a public urinal, specifically if there are five urinals to choose from. If all are unoccupied you choose the one on the far left (1). If this one is occupied you choose the far right one (5). If both are occupied you choose the center one (3). The object is to maximize the space between yourself and anybody else who currently has their shlong out.

urinator 1) "Hey buddy, one five three rule. Scoot over."

*scoots over*

urinator 2) "Sorry, wasn't thinking"

by skid mark vz March 8, 2008

faggot stomper

An enormous 4x4 full sized Ford truck jacked up on three foot tires. Usually adorned with KC lites, a gun rack, confederate flags, or window decals of the "Git 'er Done" mentality. Most likely occupied by two or more loud mouthed, fat-necked, maloderous fucknuts whose only hope for getting any pussy involves peeking at their sister in the shower.

Check out that faggot stomper taking up two spaces at the McDonalds.

by skid mark vz October 22, 2007

elbows and assholes

The results of a violent, messy collision or mishap involving the entanglement of two or more persons

Around that last turn I ran into some snowboarder and it was elbows and assholes down the rest of the friggen mountain.

by skid mark vz September 17, 2007

cock extension

any firearm owned by a paranoid, limp-dick, gun infatuated NRA true believer

It was the neighbor's cat, not an arab terrorist you fucking retard. Holster that cock extension before somebody gets hurt.

by Skid Mark VZ May 9, 2007

dick swinging in the wind

colorful description of when, through the incompetence, cowardice, or possibly malice of others, you are rendered helpless, screwed over, or at the very least, publicly made a fool of.

Matt just looked at me when those two samoans demanded an apology. So I'm just standing there with my dick swinging in the wind, having no idea who really slapped that girl's ass.

by skid mark vz December 15, 2007

Morning oak

Morning wood of abnormal size and rigidity, impossible to "tuck" away and often quite painful

Today I woke up with morning oak that I could have used to fuck a sea lion with. I thought my dick was going to explode.

by Skid Mark VZ June 30, 2007

angry chimp

Throwing your own feces and something or someone. This requires an anger of such a magnitude that it actually reduces oneself to the mentality of a previous evolutionary state.

I hated that opening band so much that I actually pulled an angry chimp. It splattered on the bass player

by skid mark vz February 23, 2008