skid mark vz's definitions

Senator Blumkin

A United States senator busted for soliciting anonymous gay mens-room sex while publicly condemning such acts (Larry Craig, R Id). Such a person is:

1.) run out of the government by his "allies" in the nutcase right
2.) condemned as a hypocrite by the gay/lesbian community
3.) pointed to and laughed at by everybody else

Senator Blumkin's career came to a screeching halt during the summer of '07, but his legend shall live on in infamy.

by skid mark vz September 17, 2007

one five three rule

Unspoken but widely understood rule regarding selecting a public urinal, specifically if there are five urinals to choose from. If all are unoccupied you choose the one on the far left (1). If this one is occupied you choose the far right one (5). If both are occupied you choose the center one (3). The object is to maximize the space between yourself and anybody else who currently has their shlong out.

urinator 1) "Hey buddy, one five three rule. Scoot over."

*scoots over*

urinator 2) "Sorry, wasn't thinking"

by skid mark vz March 8, 2008

faggot stomper

An enormous 4x4 full sized Ford truck jacked up on three foot tires. Usually adorned with KC lites, a gun rack, confederate flags, or window decals of the "Git 'er Done" mentality. Most likely occupied by two or more loud mouthed, fat-necked, maloderous fucknuts whose only hope for getting any pussy involves peeking at their sister in the shower.

Check out that faggot stomper taking up two spaces at the McDonalds.

by skid mark vz October 22, 2007

cock extension

any firearm owned by a paranoid, limp-dick, gun infatuated NRA true believer

It was the neighbor's cat, not an arab terrorist you fucking retard. Holster that cock extension before somebody gets hurt.

by Skid Mark VZ May 9, 2007

dick swinging in the wind

colorful description of when, through the incompetence, cowardice, or possibly malice of others, you are rendered helpless, screwed over, or at the very least, publicly made a fool of.

Matt just looked at me when those two samoans demanded an apology. So I'm just standing there with my dick swinging in the wind, having no idea who really slapped that girl's ass.

by skid mark vz December 15, 2007

Morning oak

Morning wood of abnormal size and rigidity, impossible to "tuck" away and often quite painful

Today I woke up with morning oak that I could have used to fuck a sea lion with. I thought my dick was going to explode.

by Skid Mark VZ June 30, 2007

sobchak

The act of dumping or throwing a para/quadriplegic out of his or her wheelchair onto the ground (ala Walter Sobchak in "The Big Lebowski").

dude 1) "Dude what happened to Earl?"
dude 2) "Two cops totally sobchak'd him last night, broke two ribs."
dude 1) "Why would they do such a thing?"
dude 2) "They thought he was faking it. Guess the forklift in his minivan wasn't proof enough."

by skid mark vz February 15, 2008