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Kumite

Kumite

The Kumite is a mythical, invitation only martial arts tournament with the deadliest fighters in the World, like Jean-Claude Van Damme
Except it's not mythical it's real. It's really real and is very similar to the Mortal Kombat tournament.

It is usually held on a far away mysterious island, so it's a nice getaway. Kind of like one of them all-inclusive vacation packages.
They cover room and food, everything (spa etc...) but they don't cover incidental (alcohol), of course.
It's nice, you get to catch up with old friends, see some really good matches, get a tan. Good times.
It is also a deathmatch but everybody's got to die sometime. You kill one man; you kill a dozen. It's all the same, they can only hang you once.

Whenever you say "Kumite" it is, always, followed by a fighting sound effect.
"You think I knew she was a killer kung-fu wolf bitch?! She didn't say nothing about no Kumitie, Kumitoo, Kumite, Koom, black coon. Now y'all just hush I'm trying to think of what we gonna do"

Kumite (Eyyah!)
by Rzhhhh September 10, 2013
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Jules Winnfield

Jules Winnfield

A character from Pulp Fiction portrayed by Samuel L. Jackson.

Jules was a hitman / assassin / hired goon working
for Marcellus Wallace until he and his partner;
Vincent Vega witnessed, what Jules refers to as,
Divine Intervention where they were shot at but none of
the bullets hit.
Now Jules "walks the Earth". Vincent calls him a bum
for doing this.

He has a variant of The Bibles chapter Ezekiel 25:17
memorised, which he recites before killing someone.
As its some "chill shit" to say to someone before they die,
not because he's religious.

He doesn't eat pork, because pig is a filthy animal, not
because he's Jewish or Muslim

He owns a Bad Motherfucker wallet.

Also, apparently he's the "foot fuckin' master"
and he's cool like The Fonz
Jules Winnfield quotes:

"What" ain't no country I've ever heard of, they speak English in What?

Do you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France?

Shit negro! That's all you had to say!

Big Kahuna burger?! I hear they have some tasty burgers.

Eatin' a bitch out, and givin' a bitch a foot massage ain't even the same fuckin' thing.

Tell that bitch to chill out!
Say "Bitch be cool" !

English motherfucker! Do you speak it?!

I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker!
Everytime my fingers touch brain I'm superfly T.N.T,
I'm the Guns of the Navarone

Hamburgers! The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast.

Shut the fuck up, fat man!
by rzhhhh July 12, 2010
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Assence

Assence - noun

Any type of odour that contains distinct noticeable characteristics which indicate that the smell originated from the rear end of a person or animal.
The severity of the odour can be of any degree.

"Assence" is formed by merging the words "Ass" and "Essence".

An assence may be the result of: flatulence be it post coital or otherwise, a Rippee, excretion, dogs, pigs or other dirty animals etc....
1: Remember that super hot chick from the dress shop? We had the most amazing date ever last night.
2: And?
1: We get back to her place and had the best sex I have ever had in my entire life, like intergalactic Avatar sex, I blew fireworks all over the wall.
2: And?
1: So afterwards we're lying there, basking in the afterglow when all of a sudden the entire place reeks. It reeks like a sewer in a bad neighbourhood where people only eat Indian food.
2: Now we're talking. Well, there can only be a few possible explanations for this and the first thing that comes to my mind is her vagina. Was it, like, rank dude?.
1: No!
2: That happens to chicks dude, that's why they invented the douche.
1: I thought they invented that so we had something to call you?
2: Very funny…
1: No, I'm just kidding. It wasn't her vagina. I have plenty of experience with rank vagina plus this odour has more of like an Ass Essence to it, an "Assence" if you will.
2: Was it you?
1: No bro, no way, not a chance. First off I never fart with a new chick until like the fourth date, third date maybe. Second off I have never in my life farted the smell of a rotten corpse. I would have to eat the corpse of a dead guy who just ate Indian food and then shit himself in order to fart a smell that bad.

Do you smell that assence?

You can smell an assence if you enter a toilet or restroom after someone had a dump.
Most noticeable in a club/bar or restaurant
by rzhhhh November 23, 2011
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Like a Virgin

A metaphor for big dick.

"Like a Virgin"
Is a song about this cooze who's a regular fuck machine
I'm talkin' morning, day, night, afternoon
Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick. (That's a lot of dicks)
Then one day, she meets this John Holmes motherfucker,
and it's like "whoa baby"
I mean; this cat is like Charles Bronson in The Great Escape; he's diggin' tunnels
She's gettin' some serious dick action.
She's feeling something she hasn't felt since forever;
Pain, pain.
It hurts, it hurts her. It shouldn't hurt her because she should be bubble gum by now
But when this cat fucks her, it hurts
It hurts, just like it did the first time
You see the pain is reminding the fuck machine what it was once like to be a virgin.
Hence; Like a Virgin
If you feel pain, that's what it was once like to be a virgin.
Hence; Like a Virgin
by rzhhhh April 9, 2011
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Land Brover

The car, or other land vehicle, you and your bros travel around in, transporting you all between your crazy bro adventures.
Certainly helps if said vehicle was made by Land Rover

May also be referred to as a bromobile
Me and the lads took the land brover all over the city looking for some chicken

The trusty land brover

Good ol' land brover

Get your hands off our land brover bitch
by rzhhhh June 14, 2011
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Morbo

Morbo - noun

1. Short for Morbidly Obese.
Refers to a person who is far too fat for their own good.
And possibly the well being of those around them.

2. An Alien from the cartoon series Futurama created by Matt Groening.
He is green and has a large head, clearly denoting the size of his awesome brain.
He is a news reporter and works with a woman called Linda, who he refers to as human female
1.
A: Look at that fat cunt over there...
B: God damn, that's a Morbo, never mind fat.
A: Better call in that Air Strike...

2.
Morbo: Morbo DEMANDS an answer to the following question:
If you saw a delicious candy in the hands of a small child.
Would you SEIZE AND CONSUME IT?!

Morbo: PATHETIC HUMANS, PREPARE TO WRITE DOWN THE RECIPE

Morbo: WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!!!

Morbo: I will DESTROY you!

All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo
by rzhhhh August 25, 2009
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Splange

Splange - adjective

Used to describe what someone is talking about.
It is the verbal equivalent to chatting shit and/or shit talking (or better known as trash talking)

Splange finds the majority of its usage amongst Blacks in the United Kingdom
Always - chattin' splange
He's not the - fuckin' guy
He's just a - stupid boy
I should - slap mans face
- Tempa T

A: You're such a dumb motherfucker, I'm gonna fuck your mom; the bitch
B: Stop splangin' me

I'm gonna splange this youtube video
by rzhhhh November 12, 2011
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