80 definitions by provider44

garfunk

a person having to depend on others to write the music for your vocals and lyrics

teddy was an avid music fan and a prolific lyricist but unfortunately he was always at the mercy of others to write him music so he could not be given credit for the complete expression of his song. I believe i heard my dad refer to him as a garfunk.

by provider44 January 14, 2010

Padding creation delay

Waiting to start a recorded dvr program so that you have padding to skip commercials with.

Donizetti: hey, what are you waiting for? The game started 20 minutes ago.

Boris: Calm down, I'm doin a little somethin' called padding creation delay so we can skip commercials.

by provider44 January 18, 2010

brunch humper

someone who only likes to have sex in the daytime

Henry: I am so horny
Kelly: but it's 4 am you little moonspider. Go to bed you know I'm more of a brunch humper
Henry: I know.Trust me. I know

by provider44 January 15, 2010

exaggerator calibrator

a mental device used to make a notorious exaggerator's stories more truthful.

As she spun her bloated yarn my exaggerator calibrator was working overtime trying to drag the rocketing leviathon back to earth.

by provider44 January 18, 2010

pay

shit deposited in the toilet

I searched the entire fair for Gooby, when i heard him yell out from the restroom area, 'I just dropped the most rank pay that toilet has ever seen!'

by provider44 January 14, 2010

j-shored

to feel if as you have lost all brain power and devolved into some sort of primate subhuman hybrid after watching reality television for an extended amount of time.

I collapsed like a lubed up combination ladder in my bedroom after being j-shored by the reality show marathon i could not pull myself away from today.

by provider44 January 17, 2010

shockets

any run of the mill bunchback whose ass is quaintly situated eight to fourteen inches below the shoulder...giving that person what one might seemingly refer to as shoulder pockets

'Hey bernard, could you help your sister get her bag out of the high shelf in her closet. Oh and before you do that could you help dad pop his shoulder back into place. Get your hands out of your gorgeous shockets and get over here mister!'

by provider44 January 15, 2010