kofi's definitions

cumbath

luxurious indulgence, usually by a female, in a plentiful supply of semen. Her body is usually naked - as "bath" would suggest - both for practical and sensual reasons. For reasons of the standard male performance (5-12 cc of fresh ejaculate), more than one man is likely to be called on to turn on the supply for her. The alternative - pre-packaged sperm from one or more sources - is rather too gruesome to contemplate. And a girl can get mighty cold and bored waiting around in her birthday suit for a fully satisfactory coverage of her bathing needs by any one man's repeated creative outputs.

Cumbaths are by nature often more easily come by in porno - with the help of fluid supplements and substitutes, and a few sleights of hand - than in the hard light of workable reality.

by kofi May 19, 2003

Rag Week

(Everything Umbongo says is 80% true and 100% funny, but he could have added:) RAG WEEK is traditionally a part of the British university calendar. It is a fund-raising week for the poor and disadvantaged (not themselves), where students try to palm off funny writings, and (say) push toilets along the main street of town, swallow ugly-looking fluids, or try to set up new Guinness records for bedhopping, for fun and public cash. Errrr, but apart from that usual stuff, they give some of the resulting money to local or larger charitable organisations, such as the SLC (Student Loans Company).

A: So what are you doing for Rag Week?
B: I think I'll just stay in bed.
A: Have you got sponsorship for that?
B: No, but I have got a whoppin hangover.

by kofi May 15, 2003

split beaver

much the same as a bearded clam: except perhaps more eager, and more neatly trimmed, i.e. furry rather than shaggy in its coat. A plain beaver but helplessly spreadeagled. An object of fear, revulsion or contempt for some, an object of desire, conquest or reverence for many: yes it's yet another name for her cunt!

She was 16 when she first discovered she was carrying a wild animal around with her. Before she knew where she was, a wily trapper had trussed up and made short work of her furry little companion. Nowadays she keeps her split beaver as contented, well-exercised and well-fed as she possibly can.

by kofi May 14, 2003

cock whore

woman who is completely addicted to the most prominent male organ. Same as nymph, nympho, nymphomaniac.(Note that "whore" in this context does not usually indicate any payment is made: it simply suggests utter, often gullible submission to the servicing of males, which breeds contempt in others.)

Tray used to be Miss Cock Whore for a few years, but now she's a bit more selective about who can have her.

by kofi May 12, 2003

three-in-a-bed

A threesome as a one-off (so to speak). A three-in-a-bed is a sexual encounter between three people, usually (at least for two of those involved) for the first and last time.

A phrase beloved of the British tabloid press is "three-in-a-bed romp", which stresses bother the impermanence and the (just-for-)fun nature of the experience, thus engaging the sexual interest and desire, the envy and thus the moralising indignation of the newspaper's readers all at once!

by kofi June 30, 2003

milk

(verb:) single-mindedly to masturbate a male to the point where he ejaculates his "milk" sperm. Use of this term suggests the extraction is more for the amusement and/or satisfaction of the "milker" than that of the person selected to be "milked". (Verb also found in combinations such as: "milk the snake", "milk the milkman")

Tracy used to boast to her friends that any man she could not milk within two hours of meeting, was not worth knowing.

by Kofi May 8, 2003

I'm all right Jack!

(originally: "Fuck you, Jack, I'm all right!!" - described the bitter dismay of sailors ("jacks") returning home after wartime in the Navy to find themselves not treated as patriots or heroes, but ignored / sneered at by a selfish, complacent, get-ahead society - phrase was subsequently toned down for acceptable general use.)
Attitude of "every man for himself, survival of the fittest, devil take the hindmost", ... but also, that all the possible advantages (however gained), success (however won) and satisfaction (whatever the cost to others) belong to me first!" Narrow-focus, narrow-gauge pseudo-Darwinian selfishness glorified as a sensible philosophy of society and life.

People who find it hard to say "I'm all right Jack!" outright, say to anyone they find no longer useful: "I'm trying to get my life in order right now, so can you respect that, please?!..." (just before they throw themselves laughing into more fun and merry chaos!)

by kofi May 19, 2003