kofi's definitions

plain vanilla

(derived from ice cream's standard basic flavour): humorous term for the enjoyment of "straightforward" sexual intercourse, most obviously in the routine missionary position. If the phrase is used, the implication is normally that the enjoyment is somewhat limited, when perhaps other "flavours" might have been welcomed .... (Note: See also "chocolate and vanilla")

A: "So, how's the new girlfriend?"
B: "Oh, all right."
A: "What's the problem?"
B: "She's only interested in plain vanilla."
A: "Hell, man, give her time. You didn't expect a blowjob on the first date, did you?!"

by kofi June 30, 2003

shag

can mean rough tobacco, or else amateur beach-style dancing in the US. But in the main UK sense, as noun or verb, is an alternative to "fuck" ... but with a slight, important difference of effect. To some ears, "fuck" (like "bang") can sound like an aggressive act, and/or violent conquest, whereas "shag" (a softer sound) sounds more like an enjoyable fun activity. "Shag" is still often the preferred term among women who are very keen on "shagging", very much enjoy shagging men (and/or women) and getting shagged themselves. But don't so much want to get "fucked" (though if talking about another woman, especially a rival, it may well be a different story!). (Note also: "fucking" can also suggest "meddling" or "cheating", "fucked" is also associated with "broken" or "finished", "had it" - "shagged" is used simply to mean "very tired" .... one more reason for the preference by some people for "shag" over "fuck"!)

Tracy to Sharon at a party: "Don't know about you ge-ww, but I need a good stiff shag right away".
Sharon: Yeah, so do I, but steer clear of that Darren, Trace, he just fucks ge-wws an' leaves 'em on their arses!
Tracy (eyes lighting up): Oh yeah? Which one's him then, Shazz?
Sharon (laughs out loud): Come on ge-ww, surely even YOU can do better than DARREN, ya randy little slag?!!!

by kofi May 14, 2003

teen

someone between the ages of thirTEEN and nineTEEN (d'ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!)

"Twelve-year-olds are far too young for the teen scene, and don't trust anyone over 20"

by kofi May 19, 2003

sex worker

More neutral or sympathetic alternative to prostitute, whore. Frankly offering sex for money is seen as either a necessary or acceptable job, parallel to (say) factory work, and no stigma or sneer of contempt should be attached to its practitioners.

"Sex workers of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your chains (unless you are happy wearing them)"

by kofi May 12, 2003

semen

scientific name for cum, jizz, jism, man milk, cream, etc. Actually the thin fluid that transports the millions of tiny, tadpole-like daddies sperm from the testicles and out of the cock when the male is suitably excited - but fluid and content are, unsurprisingly, often confused!

Tracy's ears would always prick up when she heard the word "semen", and her eyes gleamed whenever a man was as good as his word, and she had another chance to gulp down her favourite fast food.

by kofi May 12, 2003

I'm all right Jack!

(originally: "Fuck you, Jack, I'm all right!!" - described the bitter dismay of sailors ("jacks") returning home after wartime in the Navy to find themselves not treated as patriots or heroes, but ignored / sneered at by a selfish, complacent, get-ahead society - phrase was subsequently toned down for acceptable general use.)
Attitude of "every man for himself, survival of the fittest, devil take the hindmost", ... but also, that all the possible advantages (however gained), success (however won) and satisfaction (whatever the cost to others) belong to me first!" Narrow-focus, narrow-gauge pseudo-Darwinian selfishness glorified as a sensible philosophy of society and life.

People who find it hard to say "I'm all right Jack!" outright, say to anyone they find no longer useful: "I'm trying to get my life in order right now, so can you respect that, please?!..." (just before they throw themselves laughing into more fun and merry chaos!)

by kofi May 19, 2003

troilism

Formal (pompous or discreet) Greek word for a threesome. Minimalist group sex.

Before the examination, I admitted to my doctor I'd had another threesome a couple of weeks back. "Ah, another case of troilism", he smiled. "No, doc, I wasn't experimenting - I've done it before...."

by kofi June 30, 2003