kofi's definitions

cock whore

woman who is completely addicted to the most prominent male organ. Same as nymph, nympho, nymphomaniac.(Note that "whore" in this context does not usually indicate any payment is made: it simply suggests utter, often gullible submission to the servicing of males, which breeds contempt in others.)

Tray used to be Miss Cock Whore for a few years, but now she's a bit more selective about who can have her.

by kofi May 12, 2003

split beaver

much the same as a bearded clam: except perhaps more eager, and more neatly trimmed, i.e. furry rather than shaggy in its coat. A plain beaver but helplessly spreadeagled. An object of fear, revulsion or contempt for some, an object of desire, conquest or reverence for many: yes it's yet another name for her cunt!

She was 16 when she first discovered she was carrying a wild animal around with her. Before she knew where she was, a wily trapper had trussed up and made short work of her furry little companion. Nowadays she keeps her split beaver as contented, well-exercised and well-fed as she possibly can.

by kofi May 14, 2003

cumbath

luxurious indulgence, usually by a female, in a plentiful supply of semen. Her body is usually naked - as "bath" would suggest - both for practical and sensual reasons. For reasons of the standard male performance (5-12 cc of fresh ejaculate), more than one man is likely to be called on to turn on the supply for her. The alternative - pre-packaged sperm from one or more sources - is rather too gruesome to contemplate. And a girl can get mighty cold and bored waiting around in her birthday suit for a fully satisfactory coverage of her bathing needs by any one man's repeated creative outputs.

Cumbaths are by nature often more easily come by in porno - with the help of fluid supplements and substitutes, and a few sleights of hand - than in the hard light of workable reality.

by kofi May 19, 2003

Rag Week

(Everything Umbongo says is 80% true and 100% funny, but he could have added:) RAG WEEK is traditionally a part of the British university calendar. It is a fund-raising week for the poor and disadvantaged (not themselves), where students try to palm off funny writings, and (say) push toilets along the main street of town, swallow ugly-looking fluids, or try to set up new Guinness records for bedhopping, for fun and public cash. Errrr, but apart from that usual stuff, they give some of the resulting money to local or larger charitable organisations, such as the SLC (Student Loans Company).

A: So what are you doing for Rag Week?
B: I think I'll just stay in bed.
A: Have you got sponsorship for that?
B: No, but I have got a whoppin hangover.

by kofi May 15, 2003

Essex girl

a "common" (or very common) girl, not very bright, both overdressed (in cheap jewellery and tacky fashion) and underdressed (displaying her assets), always materialistic (loves shopping), likes drinking heavily (alcopops will do), and fucks indiscriminately and like a bunny, preferably with guys with a bit of money and claahhhss, but after a few drinks ... well, has to ask her best mate "Who WAS that guy I was with last night, 'Chelle?"

Fred: I heard you scored last night.
Rob: Yeah, just an Essex girl though. What about you?
Fred: Just went home.
Rob: Oh yeah, I forgot Trish is an Essex girl too!

by kofi May 12, 2003

plain vanilla

(derived from ice cream's standard basic flavour): humorous term for the enjoyment of "straightforward" sexual intercourse, most obviously in the routine missionary position. If the phrase is used, the implication is normally that the enjoyment is somewhat limited, when perhaps other "flavours" might have been welcomed .... (Note: See also "chocolate and vanilla")

A: "So, how's the new girlfriend?"
B: "Oh, all right."
A: "What's the problem?"
B: "She's only interested in plain vanilla."
A: "Hell, man, give her time. You didn't expect a blowjob on the first date, did you?!"

by kofi June 30, 2003

good time girl

old euphemism, still used for: 1. tart, slut; or 2. sex worker, callgirl, prostitute. A woman who is in search of cheap (if possible, cost- and pain-free) fun, particularly featuring easy and good sex, very interested in the financial generosity of dickheads (a due reward for her looks and personality and class). May either be (see definition 1 above) an "Essex girl" a "Tracy" in her leisure mode, or (def 2) a professional at work. Note: the term is still found used where speakers find it legally safer, more discreet or wittier to view this way of life as "just harmless good clean fun for all concerned"!

Good time girl in the street in Soho, London: "Looking for a good time, govn'r? Well, I cert'nly am!"

by kofi May 14, 2003