kofi's definitions

split beaver

much the same as a bearded clam: except perhaps more eager, and more neatly trimmed, i.e. furry rather than shaggy in its coat. A plain beaver but helplessly spreadeagled. An object of fear, revulsion or contempt for some, an object of desire, conquest or reverence for many: yes it's yet another name for her cunt!

She was 16 when she first discovered she was carrying a wild animal around with her. Before she knew where she was, a wily trapper had trussed up and made short work of her furry little companion. Nowadays she keeps her split beaver as contented, well-exercised and well-fed as she possibly can.

by kofi May 14, 2003

one-night stand

Sexual activity with another person intended for one night only. (Derives from showbiz, a "one-off show". But also of course from the suggestion of a one-off erection, though the term is used by women as well as men as a candid description of "getting your rocks off" when a bit of no-strings fucking etc. was desired.

“I've never had a one-night stand because I've always been afraid that in the cold light of day, she'll wake up and think; "Oh my God! What the hell am I doing in bed with a stupid cunt like this?!”

by kofi May 14, 2003

good time girl

old euphemism, still used for: 1. tart, slut; or 2. sex worker, callgirl, prostitute. A woman who is in search of cheap (if possible, cost- and pain-free) fun, particularly featuring easy and good sex, very interested in the financial generosity of dickheads (a due reward for her looks and personality and class). May either be (see definition 1 above) an "Essex girl" a "Tracy" in her leisure mode, or (def 2) a professional at work. Note: the term is still found used where speakers find it legally safer, more discreet or wittier to view this way of life as "just harmless good clean fun for all concerned"!

Good time girl in the street in Soho, London: "Looking for a good time, govn'r? Well, I cert'nly am!"

by kofi May 14, 2003

hizz house

Saying what's up to yuor friends or It can mean somebody or something is cool

What's happening in the hizz house my brother for sho

That's awesome in the hizz house

by Kofi July 26, 2004

Rag Week

(Everything Umbongo says is 80% true and 100% funny, but he could have added:) RAG WEEK is traditionally a part of the British university calendar. It is a fund-raising week for the poor and disadvantaged (not themselves), where students try to palm off funny writings, and (say) push toilets along the main street of town, swallow ugly-looking fluids, or try to set up new Guinness records for bedhopping, for fun and public cash. Errrr, but apart from that usual stuff, they give some of the resulting money to local or larger charitable organisations, such as the SLC (Student Loans Company).

A: So what are you doing for Rag Week?
B: I think I'll just stay in bed.
A: Have you got sponsorship for that?
B: No, but I have got a whoppin hangover.

by kofi May 15, 2003

chocolate and vanilla

(Not to be confused with plain vanilla, though also derived from flavours of ice cream.) Sex between so-called "black" and "white" people. May also be used for a threesome or group sex where at least one of those participating has sex with "black" and "white" alike.

A: I hear Tracy got bored with the same old plain vanilla with Chris.
B: Yeah, chocolate and vanilla is much more her thing, when she can get it.
C: (listening in, confused) Yeah? That's funny .... I didn't think Tracy even LIKED ice cream!

by kofi June 30, 2003

three-in-a-bed

A threesome as a one-off (so to speak). A three-in-a-bed is a sexual encounter between three people, usually (at least for two of those involved) for the first and last time.

A phrase beloved of the British tabloid press is "three-in-a-bed romp", which stresses bother the impermanence and the (just-for-)fun nature of the experience, thus engaging the sexual interest and desire, the envy and thus the moralising indignation of the newspaper's readers all at once!

by kofi June 30, 2003