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The Colonel's definitions

slim bavis

Damn, Jim is a slim bavis
by The Colonel October 1, 2003
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Defcon

Stands for "defecation condition" - a play off of the government acronym for "defense condition". Refers to the varying, and usually scaling, levels of severity relating to an impending bowel movement. The direction of the sliding scale varies from user to user, but typical usage labels Defcon 1 as the least urgent, and Defcon 5 as an imminent expulsion (the opposite of the defense department's usage).
Dude, I was at Defcon 5 and nearly shit my pants. Luckily we drove by a Carl's Jr. and I was able to drop a load.
by The Colonel July 18, 2003
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rig

To have relations (of a sexual nature) with a woman.
Dude, see that hot blonde chick? I rigged her last night.
by The Colonel July 18, 2003
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clag

Unidentifiable substance, usually of a secreted, bodily fluid type nature. Australian version of "shmegma".
Dude, I've gotta change my shirt...I just noticed that there's clag all over it.
by The Colonel July 18, 2003
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shacked

A surfer that is so deep inside the tubing part of the wave that he is completely enveloped - likened to being inside a fully enclosed dwelling, such as a shack.
Dude, I just got shacked on that wave.
by The Colonel July 18, 2003
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Flappy Baps

Large, saggy tits. Breasts that flap in the wind.
I used to think Jewel was a hot folk singer with big tits, but after seeing her perform during a NASCAR race, I realized that she's just an Alaskan chick with flappy baps and a snaggletooth.
by The Colonel February 27, 2006
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chuck norris

v. to perform a totally cool and violent action, observable by peers

v. to judiciously kick a man, woman, child, or animal's ass

v. to maintain street credibility;
adj. for street cred
Did you see the way Stewart Chuck Norrised that fucking guy's neck? That's awesome.

Phil Chuck Norrised that cat because it gave him a look and walked across the hall.

Did you see the way Travis slapped that bitch? That's Chuck Norris.
by the colonel March 30, 2005
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