Tez, a man's definitions

holy split

A bowling exclamation used when someone has created a 7-10 split. It is unfortunate when this happens, and using the expression conveys empathy, as well as how clever you are (if they haven't read this def yet).

Person 1: "Wow, check this shit out! Holy split!"
Person 2: "You already said 'shit' which makes it obvious that you're just trying to be funny this time. And it doesn't make me feel any better."
Person 1: "Aight, I'm going to cry now."
Person 2: "See, I didn't mean it like that..."

by Tez, a man March 20, 2010

are you a pedophile?

An expression of one's obliviousness to very obvious things. Often followed by silence per the listener's surprise at the speaker's bakaness.

Chris: "Are you a pedophile?"
Herbert: "..."
Viewer: "Wow. Just...wow. It's been going on for, like, ten years. Just...uhh."

by Tez, a man March 21, 2010

vegan hummus

Using this term will scare vegans as many of them love hummus as one of the few commercially viable but delicious vegan foods in the modern worlds. Can be quite humorous. Note that "hummus" can be substituted with the name of any well-known vegan food with varying results; the best ones are things like "Egg replacer" that the person has spent a lot of time looking for.

Omnivore: "I picked up some 'vegan hummus' for you. I know you like that stuff."
Herbivore: "Thanks! You're so considerate. (to self) Shit! What the hell has been in the hummus I've been eating all these years?"
Omnivore: "(to self) Victory! (to Herbivore) Don't mention it."

by Tez, a man March 22, 2010

camping cranny

A location feature in first-person shooters that is ideal for camping. It is great for campers and annoying for everyone who wants to have a good time. Examples: A space between two buildings, or right behind a door where the camper can see other players as they enter.

Person 1: "want to play Star Fox?"
Person 2: "hell no, that thing has more instances of a camping cranny than a goddamn actual campsite"

by Tez, a man March 24, 2010

Lego Star Wars 2

The last three Star Wars episodes in one game. Allows you to make janky Lego characters such as Yoda's head and Lando body. Reminds your dad how cool the old Star Wars episodes were.

Person 1: Hey man I bought Lego Star Wars 2 yesterday. I made Leia on a man's body.
Person 2: Leia already looks like a man.

by Tez, a man July 8, 2010