Tez, a man's definitions

vegan hummus

Using this term will scare vegans as many of them love hummus as one of the few commercially viable but delicious vegan foods in the modern worlds. Can be quite humorous. Note that "hummus" can be substituted with the name of any well-known vegan food with varying results; the best ones are things like "Egg replacer" that the person has spent a lot of time looking for.

Omnivore: "I picked up some 'vegan hummus' for you. I know you like that stuff."
Herbivore: "Thanks! You're so considerate. (to self) Shit! What the hell has been in the hummus I've been eating all these years?"
Omnivore: "(to self) Victory! (to Herbivore) Don't mention it."

by Tez, a man March 22, 2010

I'm naked

When you want to make someone look like a homosexual. Say it when they are turned away from you and they will most likely turn around no matter their sexuality. When he realizes what you have done, you will either share a jolly laugh together or he will punch you in the face.

This is done mainly by low-end middle school kids or general attention-seekers.

Josh: "Hey, Jacob, I'm naked!"
Jacob: "wait...what?"
Josh: "Hahaha, you looked! (cough)queer(cough)"
Jacob: "All right mate, this was cute the first couple times, but you crossed the line now" (proceeds to deliver a can of whoop-ass)

by Tez, a man March 9, 2010

smell my finger

A phrase used when one's finger has recently emerged from their asshole, and the speaker wishes the listener to experience the smell of the speaker's own ass, i.e. that of poo. Used once by Chris Griffin from Family Guy, and parodied by the title of an online game, "Spell My Finger".

Person 1: Hey, man, smell my finger.
Person 2: I know where you're going with this. I don't appreciate that you'd try to fuck me over in this way.
Person 1: Dude, it's not like that. I was just touching some Smencils I have in my pocket.
Person 2: Oh, I've always wanted to know what those smell like. I swear to Christ, it'll be the death of me when I figure out how to attach a smell to a pencil. All right, then... Aaaaagghh! Asshole!

by Tez, a man February 5, 2010

wanchan

A dog. Similar to "doggie", the term is generally only used by Japanese people, people who are learning Japanese, and otaku.

Person 1: "Ohayo, my tomodachi! Check out my wanchan!"
Person 2: "What the Sam fuckin' Hill are you saying? Jesus, man, you should have picked a different language."

by Tez, a man March 6, 2010

damn, not here

A phrase that originates in the 2005 video game "Shadow the Hedgehog"; the game's eponymous main character uses the phrase while dying. Currently used by some video game fans--especially Sonic fans--as an expression of discontentment, especially after while dying in a video game, or to evoke humorous responses.

1. (looking for something and cannot find it) Damn, not here!
2. (dies) Damn, not here!
3. 'Damn, not here!' Hehe, remember that?

by Tez, a man February 3, 2010