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Tenacious Faulker's definitions

dick mission

Pursuing a pointless endeavor; counter productive; beating a dead horse, a cluster fuck, a waste of time.
Matt: I want to fix up my old truck to sell it. It needs about $2000 in work. What do you think?
Jack: I don't even think you could sell it for that much. Seems like a dick mission to me, hoss.

Jeff: I have to convince my boss that we need to cut salaries to just stay in business. It's the only way.
Wendy: He'll agree to that?
Jeff: Oh hell no! It's a total dick mission.
by Tenacious Faulker January 19, 2010
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called up

Baseball analogy. Used when someone is moving up; usually applied to someone being promoted at work, but can be applied in most scenarios.

Antomyns: demmoted, fired, cut, dissed.
Pete, it looks like your pitching has caught the attention of the Yankees. Congrats! You're being called up to the bigs!

Jeff was asked to take over for his old boss. He was called up yeasterday.

Remember that hot girl from the bar who was out of my league? She called me to go out this Friday! Fellas, I'm being called up to the majors!

That stash of pot we confiscated from you turned out to be distribution weight which is now a federal crime, not state. You've made the big time; Federal prosecutors are calling you up, son!
by Tenacious Faulker October 19, 2009
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Ex-lax

noun. A name for a person who fouls something up; a fuck up, a schelmiel.
Hey! Smooth move, Ex-lax!
by Tenacious Faulker April 16, 2009
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turkey coma

The inevitable and unavoidable nap that occurs about 45 minutes after gorging one's self on a Thanksgiving Day turkey feast and 15 minutes into a traditional, holiday football game. The cause of this an amino acid called L-Tryptophan which turkey meat has in abundance.
Where's Daddy? I haven't seen him since Thanksgiving dinner.

He inhaled two full plates of roast turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, corn and yams smothered in gravy then sat down by the fireplace to watch the Packers-Lions. The poor bastard fought like hell, but could only make it to the 2nd quarter before succumbing to a full-blown turkey coma.
by Tenacious Faulker December 1, 2009
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Vente

A word that reportedly means "20" in Italian, but at Starbucks it simply means extra-large.
I hate going into a Starbuck's for coffee. The dumbass baristas always treat me like an idiot because I confuse a "Tall, "Grande" and "Vente". "Short" is the only size that makes sense and "Grande" is a Spanish word! WTF is that?! Why can't they just call them medium, large and extra large?
by Tenacious Faulker May 18, 2009
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face off

(v.) A hockey metaphor meaning to compete; to face an adverary; to confront.
Ugh! My performance review is today and I have to face off with my boss!
by Tenacious Faulker April 5, 2009
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yeah. wait! what?

An increasingly used phrase that one utters while paying half-attention to a conversation, agreeing, then realizing that they possibly agreed to or missed out on something important which they are otherwise unprepared to handle or agree to.
Tony: *playing Temple Run*

Danny: Tony, I've been hiding my feelings for you for so long because I wasn't sure you felt the same. I've been in the closet for so long that this is really difficult for me. So here it goes: I'm gay and I love you. Always have. And want to be be with you always. Please tell me you feel the same?

Tony: Yeah. Wait! What? * drops phone as realization sets in*
by Tenacious Faulker March 9, 2013
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