StormSworder's definitions

boris

1: A name associated with Russia for some reason or another.

2: A name sometimes given to tarantulas. Probably comes from the song 'Boris the Spider'.

"Don't call that spider Hairy. His name is Boris".

"It is? Does he come to you when you call his name?"

by Stormsworder February 4, 2007

toilet

A seat-shaped object leading to a pipe which, in turn, leads to the sewers. Used to dispose of bodily waste - though urine is often disposed of on the floor around the base of the toilet. A toilet is a source of much hilarity with schoolboys or those with similar ideas about humour (like me, for example). Also used in insults (eg: "you smell like a public toilet"). A toilet is a place the Queen never has to visit (through some miracle of biology, presumably). People who are sick in the toilet are said to be "talking down the big white telephone". Although some toilets I've seen are so filthy their original colour is long lost in the mists of time.

In my old school someone took something out of a toilet and smeared it across a classroom wall. The teacher was adamant that the culprit would be made to clean it off. The guilty party was never revealed, so the shat stayed on the wall and festered for years after. This was a classroom used as a lunch-hall. What a charming school.

by Stormsworder May 31, 2007

ps3

The white elephant of the Sony Playstation series. Despite the fact there were riots in the streets as fans fought over it, the console is quite the most over-priced, ugly thing in video-gaming history. The control pads are wireless (I once bought wireless control pads for a console and they were a nightmare to use). They will cost gamers a fortune in batteries. Sony have already, rather unwisely, announced the PS4, the PS3 is not compatible with PS2 or PS1 games, and the PS3's game line-up is frankly pathetic.

According to Sony, the PS3 will have "4D graphics". Meaning they can travel through time? The PS3 can also fly you to any planet of your choice, cure all known diseases, work out how humanity can exist without wars, famine or suffering and ensure peace and love reign forever.

by Stormsworder October 16, 2007

ps3

The white elephant of the Sony Playstation series. Despite the fact there were riots in the streets as fans fought over it, the console is quite the most over-priced, ugly thing in video-gaming history. The control pads are wireless (I once bought wireless control pads for a console and they were a nightmare to use). They will cost gamers a fortune in batteries. Sony have already, rather unwisely, announced the PS4, the PS3 is not compatible with PS2 or PS1 games, and the PS3's game line-up is frankly pathetic.

According to Sony, the PS3 will have "4D graphics". Meaning they can travel through time? The PS3 can also fly you to any planet of your choice, cure all known diseases, work out how humanity can exist without wars, famine or suffering and ensure peace and love reign forever.

by Stormsworder October 30, 2007

school

A place where it is now impossible, in the UK at least, to get a decent education thanks to New Labour dumbing down the UK's schools, making exams easier than ever and generally ensuring everyone grows up stupid enough to vote them back in again. NL MPs go on about how everyone should be bottom equal in everything, despite sending their own children to the finest private schools in the land. They are also banning anything which encourages children to be competitiveness. The teachers are no longer allowed to so much as raise their voices, meaning teaching is even more impossible. Before long we will have an uneducated generation, aside from the super-rich elite. The founders of communist China and Russia would be proud of Tony Bliar and his puppet-masters.

The 'A*' grade was invented to con people into thinking children are coming away from school more intelligent than ever, and children who can hardly read or write are being awarded A* in English. Still, as long as the children of the rich do well, that's all that matters according to the New Labour despots.

by Stormsworder November 14, 2006

scorpion

Arachnids with lobster-like pincers and tails bearing stingers. Scorpions have existed for a long time (the oldest known fossils are 400 million years old, and some early scorpions were much bigger than those of today - the fossilized Brontoscorpio and Gigantoscorpio are estimated to have been a metre long each in life). Scorpions possess a pair of feather-like forms under their stomachs which they use to 'feel' the ground for vibrations which could tell of nearby predators or prey. When mating, the male scorpion grasps the female by the pincers, deposits a 'package' of sperm onto the ground and then pulls the female over it, so she can lower herself and absorb it through an opening in her body. Despite their fearsome reputation, scorpions are not all dangerous. In fact many, like the Emperor Scorpions from West Africa and Black Forest Scorpions from Asia are harmless. A way of determining as to whether a scorpion may be dangerous is to look at its pincers. Harmless scorpions like Emperors and Black Forests have large strong pincers and relatively small tails. At the other end of the scale are the dreaded Fat-tail Scorpions, which have small, slender pincers and large muscular tails which can drive their deadly stingers through shoes. Scorpions exist in tropical, desert and scrubland environments.

Emperor Scorpions, Redclaw Scorpions, Black Forest Scorpions, Egyptian Gold Scorpions - all harmless, as I can assure you since I've kept them as pets in the past.
I'd just like to mention Spike, the grandmother of my family of Emperor Scorpions (now sadly all deceased). RIP Spike.

by StormSworder August 14, 2006

justice

Something only people who can afford it ever get. This generally involves lawyers in court playing word games and generally twisting everything the accused/victim/witness says. That's assuming the case even reaches court. Thanks to the Con party, the UK legal system is burdened down by the CPS (that's Criminal Protection Service) who tie the police up with red tape, give them countless pointless forms to fill in and generally make sure as few cases as possible reach court.

Mother: "It's about time you stopped believing in Father Christmas, the Tooth Fairy, fairies at the bottom of the garden and monsters under the bed".
Son: "But they're all real!"
Mother: "And then there's justice".
Son: "Oh come on. I stopped believing in that when I was about four and a half.

by Stormsworder November 23, 2006