QuacksO's definitions

fruitloophole

A means of avoiding responsibility for a crime due to da law's having an "innocent by reason of insanity" provision.

Tronald Dump is so far "round da bend" dat he could likely avail himself of every fruitloophole in da book!

by QuacksO December 27, 2024

stealant

Sticky adhesive designed to stick someone's "sticky fingers" together so dat he cannot so easily "stick it to others".

Petty theft is indeed unfortunate, but our shameless money-hungry Big Brother is da one who REALLY needs a healthy dose of stealant!

by QuacksO August 2, 2021

rowrow ship

A huge cargo-vessel powered by many oarsmen.

(from an old "Tracy Twins" cartoon in "Boys Life" magazine; the twins are imaging what it might have been like to paddle a Viking longship)
First mate: Well, boys, I have good news and bad news for you --- the good news is, the captain has allowed you all thirty minutes for lunch!
Rowing crew: And what's the **bad** news?!
First mate (reluctantly): Uhhhh... the bad news is that after lunch, the captain wants to go WATER SKIING!
(And of course, the crew would be none too pleased to hear this, since it would take the term, "rowrow ship" to a whole new level --- imagine how frenziedly they would have to paddle to move the ship fast enough for someone to actually water-ski behind it!)

by QuacksO August 11, 2024

exaspirated

Emotionally fed-up to the point where you wheeze loudly and copiously.

One can imagine how exaspirated the drama-weary faculty at Ethan Couch's school felt when his father actually offered to buy them out just so that Papa's "little prince" could be treated in the unfairly-coddled way that he wanted.

by QuacksO December 13, 2019

faminism

Da belief system dat is followed by many of da "better half" individuals of da modern-day world, whereby they refuse to prepare meals for their male companions unless said testosterone-steeped hulks allow them appropriate respect and equality at all times.

Maybe if Golde and all da other "makers of proper/quiet/kosher homes" in Anatevka had practiced a period of faminism, Tevya and his fellow bewhiskered residents would have been pressured by their growling tummies to cast off the shackles of their long-obsolete and debilitatingly-oppressive "traditions", and instead begin to embrace da "new way" a bit more quickly and deeply.

by QuacksO November 14, 2022

historionic personality disorder

A weird-a** psychological condition caused by a student's being required to take history class.

I stuck to math and science in high school so as to avoid historionic personality disorder.

by QuacksO November 10, 2020

tow-in and tow-out

Not to be confused with the similar-sounding-and-also-automotive-related term used when discussing the particulars of a front-end alignment, this phrase refers to an “ultimate in sweetness” revenge-action that you perform on someone whom you’re fumin’-mad at. Plus it’s quite simple and fairly low-cost, as well; all you need is a wrecker-truck and an opportunity to access his unattended vehicle.

Tow-in and tow-out is comparatively easy and highly-effective means to bring no end of misery and humiliation to almost anyone who has wronged you… what you do is acquire a suitable-sized wrecker-truck and haul your victim’s vehicle (i.e., “tow it in”) to a location where parking is a big no-no, such as in a handicapped-designated space, on a bridge/causeway, in front of a fire-hydrant or public mailbox, in a “resident/customer-parking only” or “no parking; tow-away zone” area, etc. Then move a few blocks away and sit in your truck to wait till the call goes out over the airwaves for “any available tow-vehicle in the area” to haul off the illegally-parked vehicle, whereupon you promptly thumb your mike and offer to take the call. You then proceed back to your victim’s vehicle and whisk it off to the impound yard (“tow it out”). And then, of course, your unfortunate victim is obliged to endure the assorted hassles --- not to mention considerable expense --- of both locating his suddenly-vanished jalopy and coughing up the exorbitant sums necessary to regain the use of said vehicle! Schweet! Just be sure that you don’t get caught hauling the car to the illegal spot in the first place, and you should be all set.

by QuacksO September 9, 2018