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Pipe Downn's definitions

lardware

A cooler name for bloatware.

Software which, through continuous update in an attempt to screw more money out of existing users, has become overlarge, unwieldy or slow to use.
Software can't become hardware, but it can become lardware.

Nero burning software, 1.5 GB for installation.
by Pipe Downn June 8, 2011
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Shithog

Someone who acts like a complete and total asshole.

A person who has excessive regard for rules and authority.

Someone who is so full of shit that they might accurately be said to be hogging it.
Look at that kid over there. He's got four pencils all sharpened to exactly the same length, a slicked-down side parting, and yesterday he went to the principal cos two of the guys were smoking out the back.

Probably spend his entire adult life giving out parking tickets.

What a shithog!
by Pipe Downn October 2, 2009
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Jocksucker

Look at that jocksucker - she only became a cheerleader so she could meet guys even more stoopid than herself.
by Pipe Downn March 13, 2009
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mullet over

A "mullet over" is the use of a mullet wig by someone who has had their head shaved and later regretted it.

This particular hairstyle is favoured because a "mullet" haircut resembles a kind of insane wig in any case. Thus the wig is assumed by the casual observer to be an actual mullet.

If a mullet wig is locally unavailable, a deceased animal such as a gopher or beaver may be draped over the shaven cranium as a substitute.
Josh: Wow, you look crazy!
Ger: Yeah, I passed out at a party last night and my friends shaved my head.
Josh: Ha! So what are you gonna do?
Ger: Well, I reckon I'll just - mullet over.

(Ger smiles at the camera and produces a "Fruit of the Loomis"-brand mullet wig.)
by Pipe Downn October 22, 2011
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Jog on

Get lost; piss off.

British slang, wrongly believed by many to originate from the 2004 Nick Love film "The Football Factory".

The expression, however, has a far longer history - dating back in Scotland to at least the 1640s, when it appears in Francis Semphill's popular song "Maggie Lauder"
Jog on your gait, ye blatherskate,
My name is Maggie Lauder.

(Get on your way, you bletherer,
My name is Maggie Lauder.)
by Pipe Downn November 13, 2013
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Plankspanker

One who "spanks the plank", "mangles the monkey", or otherwise "chokes the chipolata."
Why no, Robert - there's nothing wrong with being a devoted plankspanker, as long as you are in a faithful, committed relationship with yourself.
by Pipe Downn July 9, 2009
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go fuck yourself

This is a common phrase, which people often over-complicate.

In fact, it means exactly what it says:

GO: Go, get hence, vacate yrself from here. And instead:
FUCK: Fuck, shag, accost, effect carnal intercourse with:
YOURSELF: You, yourself, you.
Whaddya mean what do I mean go fuck yourself?
Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You. Wanker.
Simple.
by Pipe Downn September 13, 2009
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