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Peter Kobs's definitions

Football Withdrawal Syndrome

1. The agonizing mental process of accepting that football season is finally over.

This serious mental disorder afflicts millions of Americans every year, usually in the second week of February. Effective therapy is not available until the following August, at the earliest.

2. A crisis in the national spirit that is mitigated (only slightly) by the arrival of March Madness -- the NCAA basketball tournament.

3. The realization that life as we know it has ended, at least for six torturously long months.

4. Proof that Arena Football will never take the place of the real thing.
Hank was hospitalized on February 12 with severe anxiety and chest pain. Following a series of CAT scans at the Mayo Clinic, he was diagnozed with Football Withdrawal Syndrome (FWS). May God have mercy on his soul.
by Peter Kobs January 1, 2010
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Nuke Crib

1. A secret storage place for illegal nuclear weapons or nuke technology.

2. A nuclear weapons development facility that is purposely kept hidden from IAEA inspectors.

2. Iran's secret nuke plant beneath the "holy" city of Qum, which was disclosed by U.S. President Obama at the United Nations in September 2009.
Using satellite imagery and espionage, we located Iran's secret Nuke Crib in a set of tunnels near Qum. They put the facility there to make it harder to bomb because of possible collateral damage to the ancient Qum mosques.
by Peter Kobs September 28, 2009
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Pop City

1. A city with widespread and pervasive gun violence.

2. A dangerous neighborhood or part of town.

3. A place where young people get "popped" on a regular basis by rival gang members or criminals, usually between 10 p.m. and 5 a.m.
Man, don't go over there tonight. That neighborhood is Pop City! You'll get gunned down for sure.
by Peter Kobs August 12, 2009
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Talibanned

1. The act of banning any Taliban member from a specific area or activity.

Examples include: Crossing a border, entering a city, serving on a tribal committee or boarding an airplane. In some cases, local governments are trying to recruit ex-Taliban members into the fold, providing a way out from "Talibanishment."

2. The continuing effort by Pakistani and Afghani officials to eliminate Taliban violence by labeling specific individuals or groups as terrorists.

3. An extremely difficult task.
Mustafa won't be coming to Lahore for the soccer game next week. He's been Talibanned.
by Peter Kobs January 4, 2010
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Pre-Abandoned

1. A building or military installation that is never intended to be used, but which must be constructed anyway for political reasons.

2. A public space that planners know will never be occupied or properly used. It gets built anyway to satisfy a planning commission or zoning board.

3. The act of constructing something useless and pointless because it is demanded by an overall "plan."
"Did you hear about those Pre-Abandoned schools in Iraq? They built them out in the desert without any electricity or air conditioning. No one will ever use them, but at least they look good on paper."
by Peter Kobs September 22, 2009
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Greenspanning

1. The act of blaming someone else for your own mistakes.

2. Refusing to take responsibility for anything BAD while always taking credit for anything GOOD.

Greenspanning was pioneered by Alan Greenspan, the former head of the U.S. Federal Reserve System, who has spent the last 5 years denying any responsibility for the housing bubble or subsequent economic collapse -- despite enormous evidence to the contrary.
"Did he ever admit his mistakes."

"No way, man. He's Greenspanning again."

"Typical."
by Peter Kobs April 7, 2010
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Tuition

1. An imaginary number invented by college administrators to inspire fear in middle-class parents and new students.

2. An enormous fee that automatically rises at 3 times the rate of inflation.

3. The catch-all term for huge sums of money that young pepole start paying at age 18 or 19. Payments usually continue for the next 10-20 years.
College President: "What should Tuition be next year?"

Comptroller: "Let's me see... $38,000 has a nice ring to it. Of course, we always tack on another $6,000 in fees just for fun, not to mention mandatory health insurance and thost textbooks that cost $100 a pop."

College President: "Can we make it $39,000?"

Comptroller: "Why not? Works for me!"
by Peter Kobs February 12, 2010
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