Pantaloon's definitions

cat clock

The cat's asshole, because it resembles a watch dial. See Tabby TimexPekinese Rolex

Grandma thought she saw a cat clock. Every time the cat walked through the kitchen, Grandma would point at the asshole and say, "I can see what time it is." It was time for her meds, that's what time it was. Gimme the tin foil hat, Grandma!

by Pantaloon January 30, 2008

Euro Trash

an automobile made by Renault.

They rented a piece of Euro Trash, that managed to carry them around the country, but pressing half the buttons only caused things like mirrors and door handles to fall off.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

jang

The sweet aftertaste of oral sex on a woman.

The young lads were seekers of jang, and would spare no expense to this end. Twas as noble cause as ever was.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

fire in the hole

Common signal used among married couples. It allows the pair to go on, business as usual, and still have sex without bothering the husband with all that foreplay nonsense. The woman goes into the bedroom and works herself into a lather using whatever means necessary (nothing for the man to concern himself with). The man hits the record button on the remote, gives her the whammy jammy, and then takes a nap. The woman is free to go about her chores, or chat on the phone.

Betty needed the Wizmatic Double-Dong to do the trick, but she managed to work up a reasonable wide on. She put both hands to her mouth and called, "Fire in the hole!" She set herself to an appropriate position as she heard Mario lurching off the couch and scratching himself. She lay with her cheek sideways on the pillow and felt the cooling draft on her taint when Mario swung open the door. And then he was upon her, writhing like a captured weasel, spending himself like casino chips and collapsing over her back. Without missing a beat, Betty swung around the wizmatic and locked onto her target, guiding the rocket to ground zero. She grabbed a pear of sweats, went to the fridge, and grabbed a pint of Haagen-Daaz. Betty dropped herself onto the couch, and turned on Lifetime, while the snores of Mario rumbled steadily from the bedroom.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

milch talk

Speaking in iambic pentameter with a steady stream of obscenity, ala HBO's "Deadwood."

Voice from the box-"Welcome to Macdonald's, can I take your order?"

Driver-"Would a motherfucker be so fuckin' blind
as undiscerning to discern
the motherfuckin' value of fuckin value meal partook?"

Voice- "That'll be $6.49, please drive around to the second window, and thank you for choosing Motherfuckin' Macdonald's, Milch talker."

by Pantaloon January 18, 2008

chesticles

What you get when you dive into icy cold water. The balls snap up through the abdominal cavity and come to rest in the thorax.

The water was so cold, Charlie got chesticles. his Speedo flat as a Ken doll.

by Pantaloon February 9, 2008

carson

1) Verb meaning to take a golf club and swat at someone's testicles (ala Johnny Carson)
2)The act of holding someone's balls to the forehead in order to concentrate (ala JC's Carnac the magnificent)
3)A means to get a new car advocated by Toyota.

1)I passed out on the floor of my frat house and awoke just before Weber gave me a carson. I fled through the pantry door with my morning wood intact.
2)I wouldn't say I was her fuck buddy per see. Sure, I got off, but I was starting to suspect that she needed to think, and was only waiting till I slept before she carsoned me.
3)That Toyota Prius is looking sweet. What would the total carbon output be if I were to carson my subaru?

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008