Pantaloon's definitions
The young lads were seekers of jang, and would spare no expense to this end. Twas as noble cause as ever was.
by Pantaloon January 14, 2008
Get the jang mug.Track marks left by underpants rubbing against a soiled starfish. Similar to skid marks, but lighter brown color. Almost beige. Possibly due to differences in diet from those who produce skid marks. Some studies have been done, but nothing conclusive has been published as this goes to print.
Girl, glancing at the floor- You don't have a hash mark in your boxers.
Fellow-You seem surprised.
Girl- Oh, most of the guys that come in here have them. 19 out of 20, I'd say.
Fellow, puffing out his chest- Well, then, thank you much. Is that what I smelled walked in here?
Girl-No, that's just my upper lip, from the Dirty Sanchez I had for breakfast.
Fellow- I thought you said I was your first!
Girl-Oh, yeah, you're right. I guess I must have just shit myself.
Fellow, relieved- Oh, Thank God!
Fellow-You seem surprised.
Girl- Oh, most of the guys that come in here have them. 19 out of 20, I'd say.
Fellow, puffing out his chest- Well, then, thank you much. Is that what I smelled walked in here?
Girl-No, that's just my upper lip, from the Dirty Sanchez I had for breakfast.
Fellow- I thought you said I was your first!
Girl-Oh, yeah, you're right. I guess I must have just shit myself.
Fellow, relieved- Oh, Thank God!
by Pantaloon January 16, 2008
Get the hash mark mug.Common signal used among married couples. It allows the pair to go on, business as usual, and still have sex without bothering the husband with all that foreplay nonsense. The woman goes into the bedroom and works herself into a lather using whatever means necessary (nothing for the man to concern himself with). The man hits the record button on the remote, gives her the whammy jammy, and then takes a nap. The woman is free to go about her chores, or chat on the phone.
Betty needed the Wizmatic Double-Dong to do the trick, but she managed to work up a reasonable wide on. She put both hands to her mouth and called, "Fire in the hole!" She set herself to an appropriate position as she heard Mario lurching off the couch and scratching himself. She lay with her cheek sideways on the pillow and felt the cooling draft on her taint when Mario swung open the door. And then he was upon her, writhing like a captured weasel, spending himself like casino chips and collapsing over her back. Without missing a beat, Betty swung around the wizmatic and locked onto her target, guiding the rocket to ground zero. She grabbed a pear of sweats, went to the fridge, and grabbed a pint of Haagen-Daaz. Betty dropped herself onto the couch, and turned on Lifetime, while the snores of Mario rumbled steadily from the bedroom.
by Pantaloon January 14, 2008
Get the fire in the hole mug.turgid wet mix of poo that is ejected with a single flexing of the gut. Shrapnel splatter is an acceptable casualty, but the bulk of the pile should be a singular paddy centered directly under anus. Often accompanied by feeling of well being and accomplishment. Underreported as the Eureka moment it is.
He lowered himself and quenched. The mudshot was almost painful, it was so beautiful. He felt himself drawn to a bright light and people who had been long dead surrounded him. It's not your time yet, they told him. There is much wiping to do. When he opened his eyes, he knew what to do. He put in his notice at work and bought a Harley that afternoon.
by Pantaloon January 14, 2008
Get the mudshot mug.The darkened skin area around the vagina which leaves one with the impression that a muddy boot had recently trod upon it. Often called a muddy bootprint
When Tatiana fell on her ass, the muddy boot was peering out the sides of her thong. The image stalked Jonah's thoughts like an angry lumberjack.
by Pantaloon January 14, 2008
Get the muddy boot mug.The female equivalent to a male hard on. The woman's vagina swells up until it resembles a tazered, twitching piece of liver, and the man can enjoy a snug, responsive ride, much like a European Sports car that looks like the organ of a cow.
In due time, she had achieved a wide on. Fortunately Bert was finished before his ass cheeks collapsed.
by Pantaloon January 14, 2008
Get the wide on mug.He neglected to mention the depth and breadth of his splume, nor the angle of approach. She got home from the prom wearing his adolescent glaze.
by Pantaloon January 14, 2008
Get the splume mug.