Pantaloon's definitions

albee beck

The name of Arnold Schwarzenegger's grade school lover from his early days in Austria. During the filming of "The Terminator," AS was reported to be still distraught, even years later, over the bitter ending of this romance, and was forever uttering the boy's name. James Cameron, in perhaps one of the most brilliant moments in cinema history, decided to put one outtake into the film, where they were adjusting the lighting, and Arnold was waiting simply waiting on his mark for the next take. This moment captured on film is perhaps the quintessential expression of Man's existential aloneness in the universe, and AS's eventual destruction of the set in the name of Albee seems only fitting in retrospect.

Albee Beck had a tight ass, back in der Tag.

by Pantaloon January 19, 2008

jang

The sweet aftertaste of oral sex on a woman.

The young lads were seekers of jang, and would spare no expense to this end. Twas as noble cause as ever was.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

cell phone

Small silver block that characters on detective television shows,all the CSIs, and "House" pull out of their pockets when the writers can't get off the bong long enough to come up with a better plot device. This cube magically give the characters the next surprising clue which allows the story to dangle or move to its surprise ending, depending on how close to the end of the hour it is. See DNA EVIDENCE

Plot direction:
Caruso:I'll see you in hell/jail/syndication.
(reach into pocket for cell phone) Caruso (pause, adjust glasses, or draw back sport coat to get good handle on waist). I'm coming in.
Peripheral Snarky CSI Staffer: Who was that?
Caruso: They found-the murder weapon/killer/a time slot for CSI Des Moines.

by Pantaloon January 12, 2008

Alice's Lunch

The act of shitting in a lunch box instead of making a healthy meal. Frequent occurrence on the Popular American Television show, "The Brady Bunch."

Peter Brady opened up his Scooby Doo Lunch box to the undeniable pungency of Alice's Lunch. He tossed the fetid pile at Buddy Hinton, who was just glad it wasn't a bowl of her famous hershey squirts. Alice was always had a couple of zingers ready, that was for sure.

by Pantaloon January 28, 2008

cat clock

The cat's asshole, because it resembles a watch dial. See Tabby TimexPekinese Rolex

Grandma thought she saw a cat clock. Every time the cat walked through the kitchen, Grandma would point at the asshole and say, "I can see what time it is." It was time for her meds, that's what time it was. Gimme the tin foil hat, Grandma!

by Pantaloon January 30, 2008

sleestak

A last final emptying of the penile shaft, often resembling grain tumbling off the conveyor, resembles also the introduction to the TV series Land of the Lost, when the humans are tossed over a waterfall with some bad editing.

I was able to prop myself up to get a good sleestak, covering her landing strip with my UFOs.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

creepy office guy

Co-worker who is extremely awkward, calls at home when you never gave him your number, and has no qualms about mentioning that he got the number from your payroll info. Shows up at your new job after you leave, and at the job of some of your other former-coworkers.

The creepy office guy never leaves a message with anyone if I'm not there. But he's good for hockey tickets, so I suck it up when I need good seats.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008